It seems like whenever im in a classroom setting and all, im my normal self in which im C+F, make people laugh, etc. However, when its on the street, in my college, etc, I have a hard time going up to a woman. whats the best way 4 me to break the fear of cold approaching?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Cold approaching
- Thread starter LADawg49
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Pettycoat Junction
Don Juan
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Well, try to imagine 5 things about her that would make her unattractive to you. They can be physical or mental, or whatever. Imagine her as 50 lbs heavier, or really boring, or someone you wouldn't trust, etc.
Also imagine her in some position of vulnerability. Imagine her giving up her rights w/o a fight when being pulled over by the cops, imagine her being made fun of by some people because she said/did something stupid and her just sulking since she can't handle it, imagine her afraid to speak up in class for fear of looking stupid, etc. If you do those things, the other person isn't nearly as intimidating and you don't fear rejection as much.
I have no real problems approaching, too bad I suck at the actual pickup part
Also imagine her in some position of vulnerability. Imagine her giving up her rights w/o a fight when being pulled over by the cops, imagine her being made fun of by some people because she said/did something stupid and her just sulking since she can't handle it, imagine her afraid to speak up in class for fear of looking stupid, etc. If you do those things, the other person isn't nearly as intimidating and you don't fear rejection as much.
I have no real problems approaching, too bad I suck at the actual pickup part
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
I agree though. When I'm walking on the street and I suddenly get good EC, I can't really seem to find a good motivation to actually approach a women.
Kind of like last sunday, I was waiting for a bus and this really hot little girl (9.0) gives me looks for several seconds, several times, looking for eyecontact.
I was pretty hung over, hadn't showered since I went out, was wearing the same clothes as I had been wearing all weekend (didn't come home until sunday).
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
Kind of like last sunday, I was waiting for a bus and this really hot little girl (9.0) gives me looks for several seconds, several times, looking for eyecontact.
I was pretty hung over, hadn't showered since I went out, was wearing the same clothes as I had been wearing all weekend (didn't come home until sunday).
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
Pettycoat Junction
Don Juan
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I just do it to improve my social skills. I used to be pretty shy, but after I started approaching strange women I had to learn an assload of social skills in a hurry (picking up on hints, reading body language and verbal cues, maintaining eye contact, really listening to people when they talk, learning to carry on a conversation and say things the other person found interesting, not being intimidated by people, etc) alot of that carries over into the rest of my life and i'm not shy anymore.Originally posted by I-am-someone
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
In my experience, street approaches don't work well. Maybe I do them wrong though and I haven't done many (i've done under 30, not a whole lot), but alot of women are flattered that you think enough of them to approach them and talk to them.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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Clear your head and focus on what's going on.
I notice that I get bored real easily when im on the streets and I start zoning out and then I don't listen to what people are saying to me.
I notice that I get bored real easily when im on the streets and I start zoning out and then I don't listen to what people are saying to me.