It seems like whenever im in a classroom setting and all, im my normal self in which im C+F, make people laugh, etc. However, when its on the street, in my college, etc, I have a hard time going up to a woman. whats the best way 4 me to break the fear of cold approaching?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Cold approaching
- Thread starter LADawg49
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Pettycoat Junction
Don Juan
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Well, try to imagine 5 things about her that would make her unattractive to you. They can be physical or mental, or whatever. Imagine her as 50 lbs heavier, or really boring, or someone you wouldn't trust, etc.
Also imagine her in some position of vulnerability. Imagine her giving up her rights w/o a fight when being pulled over by the cops, imagine her being made fun of by some people because she said/did something stupid and her just sulking since she can't handle it, imagine her afraid to speak up in class for fear of looking stupid, etc. If you do those things, the other person isn't nearly as intimidating and you don't fear rejection as much.
I have no real problems approaching, too bad I suck at the actual pickup part
Also imagine her in some position of vulnerability. Imagine her giving up her rights w/o a fight when being pulled over by the cops, imagine her being made fun of by some people because she said/did something stupid and her just sulking since she can't handle it, imagine her afraid to speak up in class for fear of looking stupid, etc. If you do those things, the other person isn't nearly as intimidating and you don't fear rejection as much.
I have no real problems approaching, too bad I suck at the actual pickup part
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
I agree though. When I'm walking on the street and I suddenly get good EC, I can't really seem to find a good motivation to actually approach a women.
Kind of like last sunday, I was waiting for a bus and this really hot little girl (9.0) gives me looks for several seconds, several times, looking for eyecontact.
I was pretty hung over, hadn't showered since I went out, was wearing the same clothes as I had been wearing all weekend (didn't come home until sunday).
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
Kind of like last sunday, I was waiting for a bus and this really hot little girl (9.0) gives me looks for several seconds, several times, looking for eyecontact.
I was pretty hung over, hadn't showered since I went out, was wearing the same clothes as I had been wearing all weekend (didn't come home until sunday).
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
Pettycoat Junction
Don Juan
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I just do it to improve my social skills. I used to be pretty shy, but after I started approaching strange women I had to learn an assload of social skills in a hurry (picking up on hints, reading body language and verbal cues, maintaining eye contact, really listening to people when they talk, learning to carry on a conversation and say things the other person found interesting, not being intimidated by people, etc) alot of that carries over into the rest of my life and i'm not shy anymore.Originally posted by I-am-someone
But basically, I didn't really feel any need to approach this girl. Why the hell should I? We're both waiting for a bus, and that's that... right?
Now, when I'm going out I have no problem whatsoever. But when I'm on the street, it just doesn't really make sense to me to approach any girls. Any motivation behind this that you guys have?
In my experience, street approaches don't work well. Maybe I do them wrong though and I haven't done many (i've done under 30, not a whole lot), but alot of women are flattered that you think enough of them to approach them and talk to them.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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Clear your head and focus on what's going on.
I notice that I get bored real easily when im on the streets and I start zoning out and then I don't listen to what people are saying to me.
I notice that I get bored real easily when im on the streets and I start zoning out and then I don't listen to what people are saying to me.