cold approaching vs social circle ?

[forcerecon01]

Social circle is great for getting a girlfriend. Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year relationship (and counting) relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.

A social circle introduction is a higher percentage play than a swipe app interaction or approaching a stranger (either in a bar or non-bar setting). I've never had a social circle capable of providing me introductions so over the past 20+ years, I've either had to use technology or approach strangers to find dates. It's a more difficult path and it's not a path I recommend highly. Social circle is better in the shorter to medium term. You can get a solid, medium term (1-4 years) girlfriend via social circles more easily than through approaches or swiping more easily.

The problem with social circles becomes sustainability. For instance, I've lived in my current city over 10 years. Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years). After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circle is not likely ideal for serial monogamist who does have extended relationships but doesn't commit or the player type who tends to have relationships of less than 1 year.

In theory, you can fix this problem with relocating and re-creating social circles every so often. In practice, that would never happen. Relocations have a way of ruining social circles. Also, after age 30 at the latest, you're not getting into a good social circle in a new city if you relocate. You can get friends if you relocate after 30 but you're not likely to get a social circle that will provide you introductions to quality girlfriends, unless you can manage to be a mid to late 30s year old guy who mainly socializes with mid-20s people. That last sentence probably isn't going to happen.

Good input

 

[devilkingx2]

I never cold approached before,but wouldn't it be easier than to spend years trying to get your social circles with women in them? What method is more efficient I guess for your ego and pride?

Everybody should play to their strengths.

If you already have access to warm approach lots of women (you're in college classes full of women, or you work at a large workplace where you can meet many girls, or you have many hobbies that involve women) then you have little need for cold approach if your game is solid.

However, if you don't have access to many women, or you need to sharpen your game, or you've already poisoned the well in your circles somehow, cold approach may be your best option.

 

[forcerecon01]

Everybody should play to their strengths.

If you already have access to warm approach lots of women (you're in college classes full of women, or you work at a large workplace where you can meet many girls, or you have many hobbies that involve women) then you have little need for cold approach if your game is solid.

However, if you don't have access to many women, or you need to sharpen your game, or you've already poisoned the well in your circles somehow, cold approach may be your best option.

Makes sense.

 

[SW15]

you're in college classes full of women or you have many hobbies that involve women) then you have little need for cold approach if your game is solid.

You still need approach skills in these settings. Even in college, it isn't easy to start conversations but it is do-able. I did it. After college, it's actually more difficult to approach some woman after a fitness class in a gym (despite better ratios in fitness class).

However, if you don't have access to many women...cold approach may be your best option.

Yes, that's been my case for many years, probably since college graduation. My college campus was probably where I had the best access.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

SC has worked well. I don’t CA except at bars/clubs.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The problem with cold approach is that we think of it as some kind of special operation.

Make it your lifestyle. Simply train yourself to talk to women when you’re out and about. When you get good at it there is no more game, no more “special operation”. It’s just what you are… an man who interests women.

 

[thelambofdeth]

Cold approaching only works IA you're reaaaaly attractive

 

[Dean Gladwyn]

You won't be able to successfully cold approach, or keep at it if you're worried about your ego or pride. It's going to take rejections, women making you question yourself, and sometimes feeling like you're hitting a brick wall if you want to get better, more comfortable and confident at cold approaching. Keeping your ego involved will just kill your self-esteem every single time if you don't get success.

The social circle will have its positives, it helps women feel comfortable around you but it won't necessarily confirm a successful approach especially if you already have a 'friendship' vibe at play.

 

[eli77]

Do both.