"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Cold Approaching At The Age Of 40, Need Advice From All DJS?

soulforge

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Recently I have decided to make a bigger effort in cold approaching woman.

In the past pretty much all of the woman I have dated, have either been from online or from the odd night out clubs/bars.

The city in which I work, has so many hot woman, pretty much everywhere you look. I feel like I am missing out on so much potential puzzy by not approaching these chicks.

There are hot chicks in my gym, at the shopping centre, and generally out and about shopping in the city centre!

I guess I feel awkward about approaching woman, so I have some questions that I could really do with answering from you experienced guy.


  1. Cold approaching females in the street, at the age of 40, is this considered creepy? Lol

  2. Tips and advice on how to start a conversation?

  3. How to get her number?

  4. And how to deal with regular rejection?

  5. Do I need a wingman or go solo?
Any other advice you can give me, will be appreciated.. Thanks guys!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ChristopherColumbus

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I think it is commendable that you are doing this and getting off-line.

The singular most important pieces of advice I'd give is to first make yourself available and then look for the IOI.

So you go to the kind of place that you like to go [for me it's the coffee shops], and then if you notice a lady noticing you, you respond. It's more like a warm approach.

Forget all the silly 20 year old man's game, and tailor it to you.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Here's an anecdote.

A few weeks ago, I sat myself down at a coffee shop window seat. Was checking my emails, and a girl sat down right next to me. She was totally immersed in her smart phone. I opened with 'You look busy'... we chatted. Swapped numbers. She messaged to meet, a bit of back and forth. And then she decided to drop out for some reason and have her friend meet me instead.

Met this other girl, who was cute and enthusiastic. She just texted me [I can't be bothered chasing] and organized to meet me again in a couple of days.

This is the kind of interaction I enjoy. Where the women are moving things forward. The lazy man's way... ha ha
 

bigneil

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Cold approaching females in the street, at the age of 40, is this considered creepy? Lol
- To some women it is, so you only approach women who give buying signals. Same as any situation. I feel younger at 47 than I did at 40 to be honest. I feel no shame flirting with 18 year old women. My friend can't believe it because he sees me seduce women who are 45 and their daughters. Treat all women the same.

Tips and advice on how to start a conversation?
- Don't open with a compliment. Just mention something about the environment. The pattern on their purse. Ask for the time. Let them look you in the eyes and then it will be based on chemistry if she likes you.

How to get her number?
- Build rapport. Ask 'Are you single?'. If she says yes, say "Write your number down" - I prefer they write it on a napkin versus entering it. Never give out your number or a card. Ever.

And how to deal with regular rejection?
- Work out more.

Do I need a wingman or go solo?
- Solo works best for me
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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