cold approach - to kino or not

[ubercat]

To kino or not on a cold approach is the question. In another thread Harry Wilmington said - don't do it. now I'm not getting down on Harry he s obviously an experienced DJ.

But a French study described here
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-light-touching-can-double-your-chances-in-dating/
showed a light touch on the arm for 1 second doubled your chances at cold approach.

now of course this is science and there's always many variables. for example these guys were young and handsome. maybe it wouldnt work for an older less attractive guy.

Well we can't do the science but plenty of guys here have had hundreds of dates.

to give a practical example I was hitting on an HB 8 waitress last night while out having beers with a mate and I did the Number drop at the end of the night. I got the feeling she was surprised. now I'd been flirting with her and she was definitely playing along but she was very busy running around and I didn't get to Kino. I doubt she will call.

so what's your experience guys - is a cold approach without Kino doomed. or do you go with Harry's thinking that Kino too early on makes you a creep?

 

[Reykhel]

c'mon c'mon now touch me babe...

kino too early on makes you a creep? A complete negative belief which will only result in you second guessing yourself. "oh goolly gosh when will it be ok for me to touch her? will she give me a sign? will I know in just the right moment? what if I do it wrong?" fvck that.

From your very first interaction with a girl you're setting a frame of a personal boundary. Make too much distance and that's the boundary and frame you have with the girl and it becomes awkward and slow to break that.

I suppose in some ways it can be cultural too..

I'm not surprised with the French report. France is a country where on greeting your male friends or work collegues you will shake every one's hand. Some male friends and family members will kiss each other on the cheek. Yes males. You'll greet your female friends with two kisses on the cheek, and some parts of the south three kisses. Same when you say good bye. A non touchy person will be viewed as cold and distante.....maybe even a creep. Spain is also a very touchy and kissy country. Again even more so in the South where you'll be confused when trying to decipher if they are IOI's or not.

The states: there was an experiment on touching (I don't have a link) where they left change in the phonebox and each person that left the phone box was asked if they found any change. The percentage of people that said NO (ie they LIED) was in the 90's....
They did the test again and this time when they approached ther person they lightly touched them on the arm and asked.....the percentage reversed...the amount that said YES (they told the truth) was something like 97% (this was on a Jack Canfield tape)

Carlos Xuma makes on observation about touching: he says when women are being conforted by one an other, that is to say if one of them has a problem their friend instinctively reaches out and touches the back of her elbow.....to GROUND her. he recommends this light touch as you approach a woman and say hello or whatever. Your grounding her into your reality...

Paul Janka on his pickups often gives her a little hug after he gets the number or a peck on the cheek. OR probably more famously (as he gets lambasted for it) he often gives a fist pump. which for me I feel he's doing two things 1. slight kino and 2 slight compliance he's putting his fist up and most of them jump through that little hoop and fist him back....(fist him back? surely there's a better way to say that)

Groping is creepy.....light kino is necessary.

An alpha male is not afraid to touch people. It's connection.

btw a number drop? as in you gave her your number? better to get her number no? it's burdensome expecting her to call

 

[ubercat]

Yeah I confess I didn't ask - weak move. So OK in that situation - she s at work - Friday night beer crush. How would u go about isolating to get thenumber without seeming weird? Or would u just go balls out and ask her in front of a crowd.

 

[Reykhel]

Yeah I confess I didn't ask - weak move. So OK in that situation - she s at work - Friday night beer crush. How would u go about isolating to get thenumber without seeming weird? Or would u just go balls out and ask her in front of a crowd.

I would say the "without seeming weird" is a small problem. I think all of these thoughts such as "will I seem weird" or "if I touch her it's creepy" are all mental blocks that cause HESITATION.

It's the same with fear of rejection. The fear of rejection....causes you to get rejected.

You can be discreet but you need to really forget about the other people. Believe it or not they will probably think your money if you do it smooth with no hesitation. But yes be descreet. Beckon her over and slip her your phone and say "put your number in that descreetly" saying descreetly puts the two of you in a conspiracy frame...

or time it right. walk towards the toilet or bar when you know she'll be walking by and say to her "tell me your number, I've a good memory" then tap it in your phone.

I'm not a huge fan of asking bar staff for their numbers though unless she's throwing IOI's at me.

I got a number last night at a TM meeting and I had no choice but to do it in front of everyone. It was at the end of the meeting and she gave me a banana as I said I was dying of hunger! I told her I fvkcing loved her. I asked her would she be back and she said probably not the location is inconvenient. (so I had one shot...there and then). All eyes on me....(or were they? did it just seem like that) I handed her my phone..."here put your number in that and we'll grab a drink".

But the number means nothing. It's only a TIME BRIDGE to get to day 2.

...but if you don't ask.

 

[ubercat]

Great replies RK repped.

I don't normally hunt waitresses but it was a bit target poor last night. All the he decent civvies were in groups. And my mate s blue pill - not up to winging a group.

 

[Rainman4707]

I would'nt apply it straight away. I think maybe thats what people are getting at when they say its creepy. I my opinion i dont think you want to be touching a girl as soon as you approach her. I would do the exact opposite. Get her attention, but your body language wants to be so that she dose'nt feel threatened. Hell, you're already a stranger starting a conversation with her. I don't think she wants you touching her straight away.

When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.

When you're walking down the street. Have your head up. Women love a strong back, so try & use your back muscles when walking. When you see your target, have no fear. You are the prize (really get that into your head)

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210493

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Ahh, the power of oxytocin. Such a wonderful chemical. It's no wonder why a mother will always love her children for absolutely no reason at all.