Diaforetikos
Senior Don Juan
SHORT VERSION/OVERALL THEORY
As a black guy, it seems I have to make a really good first impression in order to get any form of women's attention. I strongly believe in the idea that its the second thing you say that keeps a women's attention, but in my case I think its both the first and second things that I say that will get them to notice me.
In cold approaching, it is extremely hard to see any form of success from younger women. They generally judge a book by its cover and are very shallow almost immediately. In order to have a bigger chance of landing a women you are interested in, you must become part of your their life in some form or way. IE: Share a class, meet through a friend of a friend, become coworkers, share a hobbyist group, etc. This way they have time to find out the real you without the feeling of being pressured into the dating scene. This seems to be mainly true for younger women ages 18-24.
***DISCLAIMER***
Now before I go any further with this, I do want to say, I am a light skinned black guy. I am not racist in any way, except for silly jokes. I find racism unnecessary and unwarranted by many. I also don't have any hate or frustration based on these theories. I also do not live by these theories. I still cold approach the women I am attracted too. Be it white, yellow, brown, orange, or red. I am just explaining what I have noticed and how it pertains to cold approaching from my point of view.
***DISCLAIMER***
WARNING, THIS POST IS LONG!
Cold Approaches
These are funny. Cold approaching is viewed in so many different lights. I use to see these as my only way to get better with women. But I work in customer service and use my interactions with customers as a way of improvement.
As I stated in the beginning, my view on cold approaches have changed. They now hang as a shadowy figure in the back of my arsenal of DJ'ing. Why, you may ask. Let me tell you a little story.
Out of town we headed for our Coo Coo Monday adventure. Coo Coo Monday's is a inside joke I made up after an incident with an attractive women. Now my friends and I use the term, "Coo Coo" to describe HB's.
We headed to Concord for their larger than average mall, ready to cold approach our butt's off. My crew consisted of me, my bro, my "black" friend MC, and my "white" friend DoubleD (DD).
As we strolled through the fabulous mall looking for targets, my "white" friend DD noticed something... All the women smiled and stared at him (DD), but as soon as they looked at us, the "black" guys (Me, my bro, and MC), they shy away instantly and soon direct their attention somewhere that wasn't us. At first I thought DD was bluffing and fooling around. But that wasn't the case. It was true. I didn't let it get to me. So I shrugged it off and went about our business...
Weeks later, MC and I head out to the same mall for another Coo Coo Monday session. I noticed DD's truths again. What was going on?! I needed to find out more.
A month goes by and my brother discovers Chatroulette, a site that lets you video chat with anyone at random from around the world. You click next and a new person appears on the screen. It was fun messing around trying to get women to flash us, or make out with each other until...
DD, MC, my bro, and I are on C.R. and find some girls (they were white). "The black guys" (MC, bro, and I) rap for the women. They giggled and laughed and applauded us for our uniqueness and confidence. But they looked closer and noticed DD. They shouted in excitement to see him. They wanted to talk to him. He's not that attractive. Average, but he was "white." I was a little upset about this. Not at DD though. But at the overall situation.
Soon, MC, bro, and I were on C.R. alone. Just us three. Having fun and being silly. We wanted to get girls on the screen. Its just more fun that way. But they all kept skipping us. All bad. No one gave us a chance. DD's truth weren't becoming real, they were real.
I relayed my theories to my coworker, who is a women, about how being black has many disadvantages with women and cold approaches. She completely agreed. She said it had to do with her upbringing and what she viewed on television. MTV and VH1 had marinated in her brain. Thats all she knew. White men were the standard for sex symbols (my theory) based on the programming MTV and VH1 chose to air.
I thought on this for a while. I didn't let this get to me, but I was aware of it.
A few days later, the two "black" women come in and shop. They come up to the counter, and are ready to purchase. They were kinda cute, so I was trying to be a little flirtatious, but they weren't biting. As soon as I noticed their unsatisfied notions with my flirting, two thugged out, ghetto dress "ya dida's" come into the store...
""Ya didas" is a term derived form the slang term "Yah di-da mean". The original term comes from the phrase, "You know what I mean?" Basically say that phrase as fast as you can. It'll sound all mushed together. My friends and I use the term, "Ya di-das" as a term to describe dread headed fools that constantly use the term "Yah di-da mean.""
These guys said some random gibberish that I didn't understand. Then left immediately after stating their sentence. The cute "black" girls whispered to each other about how cute those two were. I was shocked. The women that stood before me didn't act like they would affiliate themselves with the "Ya di-das." But then again, I was judging a book by its cover.
So what I'm noticing is that I am too black for white women, but too light skinned for the black women.... I am just kidding about this part, but I found it quite amusing when I said it out loud.
Like I said earlier, this is my theory. Since I don't have proof that any of this is true, besides the experiences I have gone through, I don't let any of this limit me from my growth. I still approach like normal, or in my case, interact with customers like normal. Just want to give you guys a heads up on some new ideas.
As a black guy, it seems I have to make a really good first impression in order to get any form of women's attention. I strongly believe in the idea that its the second thing you say that keeps a women's attention, but in my case I think its both the first and second things that I say that will get them to notice me.
In cold approaching, it is extremely hard to see any form of success from younger women. They generally judge a book by its cover and are very shallow almost immediately. In order to have a bigger chance of landing a women you are interested in, you must become part of your their life in some form or way. IE: Share a class, meet through a friend of a friend, become coworkers, share a hobbyist group, etc. This way they have time to find out the real you without the feeling of being pressured into the dating scene. This seems to be mainly true for younger women ages 18-24.
***DISCLAIMER***
Now before I go any further with this, I do want to say, I am a light skinned black guy. I am not racist in any way, except for silly jokes. I find racism unnecessary and unwarranted by many. I also don't have any hate or frustration based on these theories. I also do not live by these theories. I still cold approach the women I am attracted too. Be it white, yellow, brown, orange, or red. I am just explaining what I have noticed and how it pertains to cold approaching from my point of view.
***DISCLAIMER***
WARNING, THIS POST IS LONG!
Cold Approaches
These are funny. Cold approaching is viewed in so many different lights. I use to see these as my only way to get better with women. But I work in customer service and use my interactions with customers as a way of improvement.
As I stated in the beginning, my view on cold approaches have changed. They now hang as a shadowy figure in the back of my arsenal of DJ'ing. Why, you may ask. Let me tell you a little story.
Out of town we headed for our Coo Coo Monday adventure. Coo Coo Monday's is a inside joke I made up after an incident with an attractive women. Now my friends and I use the term, "Coo Coo" to describe HB's.
We headed to Concord for their larger than average mall, ready to cold approach our butt's off. My crew consisted of me, my bro, my "black" friend MC, and my "white" friend DoubleD (DD).
As we strolled through the fabulous mall looking for targets, my "white" friend DD noticed something... All the women smiled and stared at him (DD), but as soon as they looked at us, the "black" guys (Me, my bro, and MC), they shy away instantly and soon direct their attention somewhere that wasn't us. At first I thought DD was bluffing and fooling around. But that wasn't the case. It was true. I didn't let it get to me. So I shrugged it off and went about our business...
Weeks later, MC and I head out to the same mall for another Coo Coo Monday session. I noticed DD's truths again. What was going on?! I needed to find out more.
A month goes by and my brother discovers Chatroulette, a site that lets you video chat with anyone at random from around the world. You click next and a new person appears on the screen. It was fun messing around trying to get women to flash us, or make out with each other until...
DD, MC, my bro, and I are on C.R. and find some girls (they were white). "The black guys" (MC, bro, and I) rap for the women. They giggled and laughed and applauded us for our uniqueness and confidence. But they looked closer and noticed DD. They shouted in excitement to see him. They wanted to talk to him. He's not that attractive. Average, but he was "white." I was a little upset about this. Not at DD though. But at the overall situation.
Soon, MC, bro, and I were on C.R. alone. Just us three. Having fun and being silly. We wanted to get girls on the screen. Its just more fun that way. But they all kept skipping us. All bad. No one gave us a chance. DD's truth weren't becoming real, they were real.
I relayed my theories to my coworker, who is a women, about how being black has many disadvantages with women and cold approaches. She completely agreed. She said it had to do with her upbringing and what she viewed on television. MTV and VH1 had marinated in her brain. Thats all she knew. White men were the standard for sex symbols (my theory) based on the programming MTV and VH1 chose to air.
I thought on this for a while. I didn't let this get to me, but I was aware of it.
A few days later, the two "black" women come in and shop. They come up to the counter, and are ready to purchase. They were kinda cute, so I was trying to be a little flirtatious, but they weren't biting. As soon as I noticed their unsatisfied notions with my flirting, two thugged out, ghetto dress "ya dida's" come into the store...
""Ya didas" is a term derived form the slang term "Yah di-da mean". The original term comes from the phrase, "You know what I mean?" Basically say that phrase as fast as you can. It'll sound all mushed together. My friends and I use the term, "Ya di-das" as a term to describe dread headed fools that constantly use the term "Yah di-da mean.""
These guys said some random gibberish that I didn't understand. Then left immediately after stating their sentence. The cute "black" girls whispered to each other about how cute those two were. I was shocked. The women that stood before me didn't act like they would affiliate themselves with the "Ya di-das." But then again, I was judging a book by its cover.
So what I'm noticing is that I am too black for white women, but too light skinned for the black women.... I am just kidding about this part, but I found it quite amusing when I said it out loud.
Like I said earlier, this is my theory. Since I don't have proof that any of this is true, besides the experiences I have gone through, I don't let any of this limit me from my growth. I still approach like normal, or in my case, interact with customers like normal. Just want to give you guys a heads up on some new ideas.
