Cold Approach - Never Realized How Hard This Would Be

[momentomori]

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my experience with this. If you are curious about cold-approach I definitely recommend it. If anything it's just fun to go up to a chick who you think is hot and tell her you think she's attractive, or if you want to be a cuck and be indirect you can go that route too.

If anyone else want to share their experience of daygame then feel free to.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Welcome to the game. How old are you? What country???

I'm not casually taking a piss when I point out the abundance of shilling on YouTube and house husband's pedaling ebooks or some rubbish digital programming &&&& 0 receipts. Running game particularly cold approach is a day job. It's putting in work. It's not pods about hypergamy or some 6 hour rant about a Netflix doc. Receipts or didn't happen. But this is what you got for YouTube. For every 1 ToddV or Troy Francis with actual infield or receipts, you got call outs or Internet beefs. Attacks on marriage from guys who are married. Programs or ebooks on game from fellas who DON'T APPROACH.

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my experience with this. If you are curious about cold-approach I definitely recommend it. If anything it's just fun to go up to a chick who you think is hot and tell her you think she's attractive, or if you want to be a cuck and be indirect you can go that route too.

If anyone else want to share their experience of daygame then feel free to.

Your not wrong. It's work. A model on the old rsd forum had a 10% success rate. Male model. This was before OLD swipe apps and only fans. No clue how much the numbers change but world class is about that ratio. Chad or a Tyrone with 10% success rate. Still gets rejection and blow outs. Still gets ghosted or flakes.

Been doing pickup for more than a decade. I swear by it over the low hanging fruit of OLD. Do both but approach has been far better in every metric. There is no catfish in pickup. There's no photoshop or filters. She's either dtf or #nextset! Work volume. Don't piss around decades or whatever. Approach minimum of a handful everyday. Allocate your time to generating income, start a biz, learn a trade or something else that has actual intrinsic value. Get a second passport. Have a bank account over seas. Obviously do it above board legally.

I'm out chain gunning pickup day or night. No excuses. I'm unapologetic. It's no game time when you feel like. It's jet lii unleashed. Collars off. Instead of kicking as your taking your d out and you smash. Obviously calibrate. No means #nextset. Blow me or blow me out. I don't hesitate. I approach, pull or next. Even when I pull and I beat it rotten, #nextset! On the walk back to the car I will open new sets. It's always game time.

You can take old school Rooshv and do sets of 100 or Julien Blancs handful everyday. Avoid burn out of going on a rampage.late nights out in clubs or bars. Do both day and night game. Avoid YouTube jargon. Vet gurus. If no receipts or in fields ... cool story bro. Didn't happen.

Work volume. Check old archives. Field test everything. Exercise common sense. Dev ability to story tell. Banter. Read women. Push pull. Learn when to #next and when to pull. Have your own gambit and openers not from some dork online but from your experience. Learn how to boost your own state. DHV.

Lastly, it's a tool. It's a skill set. That's it. You won't be perfect. The game isn't. Life isn't. You will take Ls. It is what it is. If you actually go through the fire you become something else. You actually know female nature. You recognize patterns of behavior. You spot high interest level. The game is COMPLIANCE. I lead. She follows or next.

Hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.

Never base your value on getting the girl. You active the man with or without the girl. Enough pickup and you see where these girls end up. You and I are competing for less than 1% of the population. Off rip you are already ahead of 99% of dudes cause men dont approach. 1% are any good at pickup.

Meditate. Enough contact with female logic will drive you nuts. Puahate and sluthate came because they failed to integrate the experience. Do headspace or calm app. Look up Muse.

Pickup, rejection, ghosting, pulling, beating it rotten etc is funny. The game is hilarious. It's all lulz.

2000 approaches? That's great dude. 2001 will be hilarious. Maybe you pull. Then you got some funny story to tell.

Guess what???

Spoiler

Every set is practice.

#nextset

@SW15 knows the game.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

2000 and haven't gotten laid? Holy **** dude, do fewer better ones. This is disastrous.

idk what you need to work on, but if you're doing approaches where this happens:

"The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding."

Stop everything you're doing before you run out of women in your town holy ****.

Maybe you're awkward or come off as weird/not clear enough in your intentions.

Learn how to flirt without opening your mouth, learn to use your eyes, read body language and figure out if she WANTS you to approach her. Learn some cheeky winking and stuff. You can't approach someone that hasn't even looked at you at this level.


I will only cold approach after getting AT LEAST some eye contact, means I approach less (with the right eye flirting they will even come to me), my close rate is high.

 

[Striker_93]

You can't just approach women, you have to look good and approach women.....

Make sure you are dressed well, haircut, smell good, shoes ect......

Have a lil more swagger(the way you carry yourself) more confidence.

Your definitely doing something wrong but I would have to see you in action to really help.

If your not all that handsome/attractive then aim lower until you get more confident and comfortable with your approaches......

Cold Approaching is bread and butter, but it's not for the weak. Your success rate is a reflection of your SMV, Simple.

You gotta look good and carry yourself good, either you got it or you don't and will need to improve to have it.

Whenever me and my boys wanna get laid that's what we always did, go out and approach women but we do it like it's something we do all the time, we approach women as if we assume she's going to like us, confidence, gotta have that swagger, especially if your not "eye catching"

Don't give up, just work on yourself and find what works for you......good luck

 

[Atom Smasher]

Cold approaching is an exercise in frustration. Most women you see around are either involved with a boyfriend, husband or significant other (maybe even another woman), are thinking of all sorts of life issues, and are just not primed to be social in the daytime. That's why it's a numbers game, and I have found that the yield is generally not worth the effort.

To offset this, I trained myself to detect the tiny, subtle signs or "invitations" that women send out to signify interest. They often think they're being obvious when in fact the signs they send out are usually barely perceptible.

Most of you know that I'm a former loser with women who turned his life around drastically and got attraction handled. While I used to be the Invisible Man, now I'm all too visible and I can relate to what women go through. When I'm out and about, I get women trying to engage with me all the time, and most of the time I'm just not in the mood to engage. It's rather annoying. That's what these beautiful women are experiencing. Annoyance. A reluctance to change state and switch on because they're comfortable with what they're doing.

I'm convinced that most men attract more women than they think, because they completely miss the signs (invitations) that women project. By learning to detect these signs, a man can change the ratio between cold approaches and warm ones. A smile is a sure tell, but there are many others. I've mentioned before that a useful "tell" to learn to detect is the last-second turn-away. Women are masters at looking at a man when he's not looking at her, and then looking away before he has the chance to see her looking at him. But there's always that last, split-second part of the look-away that you can detect. When you catch a woman in the last millisecond of her look-away, and see it more than once, you've got a warm approach on your hands. Of course this only happens where people are loitering around a bit, such as an eatery or some event where people stay put.

The odds are stacked against you because men are not universally attractive like women are. We all (even the best looking ones) appeal only to a subset of women. Women have "types" that appeal to them. While we men all agree that hot is hot, women vary wildly in what kind of man excites them. That's why the numbers are really, really bad in cold approach. A lot of boxes have to be checked in order to succeed in any given interaction.

So the key to approach improvement is to learn to detect the signs of interest and to develop an intuition about who's likely interested and who isn't. The signs are there but they come and go like lightning. Otherwise, it's nothing more than chance and the odds are stacked against you. That is demoralizing. If you go out with the specific intent of learning to recognize subtle sign of interest, you will definitely develop the skill.

 

[samspade]

To offset this, I trained myself to detect the tiny, subtle signs or "invitations" that women send out to signify interest. They often think they're being obvious when in fact the signs they send out are usually barely perceptible.

The funny thing is once you're dialed in, it's obvious as all he11 what women are doing. Makes things so much easier.

As for cold approaches, I consider that generally to be "approach before she's given a signal or seen me." I've had better success ratios keeping these short and sweet. "Hey, I'm in a hurry but I just noticed you, you seem cool and I wanted to get your number before I leave." Women will hand over numbers, lol. Even had women take mine and call me. Whenever I've tried the small talk route, it usually feels perfunctory. Depends on the venue and vibe, e.g. sitting in a cafe is great for conversation...in line at a store, just compliment her shoes or something and get her number or don't. Don't waste time on extended sets. I also only do it if I feel an insta-boner when I see her and generally want to ask her out. Make it incidental to my day, not my reason for going out. No point in making it a chore UNLESS you're starting out and trying to break down your own social anxieties, IMO. In which case, talk to everyone and anyone, be that guy, get noticed (for good reasons).

 

[SW15]

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered.

How long has it taken you to do 2,000 approaches? If you told me that's 10 years of approaching, I'd believe it. That's about 200 approaches a year. A year has 365 days, so you'd be averaging one approach every other day. That's possible.

Cold approach is incredibly difficult. It's only slightly better than doing sales cold calling on the telephone. In sales and marketing, cold calling is considered a practice that is incredibly outdated and has been outdated since the 1990s. Even in the 1970s-1980s, it didn't work all that well. While picking up women is not entirely analogous to sales and marketing, there's enough overlap to have a conversation.

Do you want to know what else is difficult? App swiping. App swiping feels easier because you're sitting at home in your underwear, unshaven and unshowered, while evaluating prospects and sending text messages to prospects. It's much different to be on a walking/hiking path or on the street and seeing women wearing headphones/earbuds ignoring you and not even letting you start the approach. There are far more women who you won't even approach due to complete non-interest than women you approach and reject you.

I've had weekend afternoons where I went to a walking path in one of my city's most singles dense areas. This is one of the United States' most populated metropolitan areas. I've spent 2-3 hours outside on the path looking for approach opportunities. There have been plenty of times where in 2-3 hours I was only able to get 2-3 approaches done. I've lingered in grocery stores for an hour at a time (pre-pandemic) and only gotten in 1 approach that was a 30 second conversation. Sometimes 0.

It's good that you have a strong rating on Photo Feeler and have a good job, good fashion, etc. It is a tough mating environment when a guy whose photos rate 8.5 has the problems you have or a 6'4" man with big muscles gets rejected regularly.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

You're not wrong. It's work. A model on the old rsd forum had a 10% success rate. Male model. This was before OLD swipe apps and only fans. No clue how much the numbers change but world class is about that ratio. Chad or a Tyrone with 10% success rate. Still gets rejection and blow outs. Still gets ghosted or flakes.

1 lay in every 30 approaches in completely unrealistic. To get one woman to verbally agree to a date and give you her phone number, it might take 40-100 approaches. If you consider women from there who will show up on a date after verbally agreeing to date and giving a phone number, you might be looking at every 50-150 women depending upon how aggressive you are in approaching. Your numbers might be closer to 50 if you look for IOIs to some extent. If you're just approaching everything without calibration, you're looking at around 150. And that's doing pickup in neighborhoods in your area where singles are known to spend time. Getting sex is probably less than 1 in 100 approaches. I'd say sex is around 150-400 cold approaches. Getting a longer term girlfriend (1 year or longer) from cold approaching is around 200-700 cold approaches. These are just estimates and a lot of things can affect these numbers.

These numbers look terrible but the numbers on app swiping are likely even worse. Most men get a match on an app on a small fraction of 1% of their swipe rights.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Yes, most women are not interested in men by default. Depending on how you are approaching, most women that you could approach are likely to be in some sort of relationship at the moment that you approach her. Some men will approach anything and their efficiency numbers are terrible and they get more rejections. Most of the women who look unapproachable are ones with boyfriends/husbands and aren't in the market for new penis. You don't want to be interacting with these women as these interactions will drain your good energy. I sense that you are interacting with too many women from this category.

There are also socially inept women who cannot process non-bar approaches. There are also ugly women, fat women, etc.

On both swipe apps and in real life, women auto reject. I have a 35 year old childless female friend who lives in another city. I would rate her a 5 at best. I'm not attracted and never was. She recently went through her Tinder swipe queue of over 1,000 men. She only swiped right on less than 100 of them. Women tend to follow a similar process in real life. The difference in real life is that you're dealing with a less targeting audience than Tinder in theory. Tinder in theory is women looking to get a new penis. In real life, the typical woman walking on the street, in the mall, in the grocery store or other retail outlet, etc. is not looking to get a new penis.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Yes, because cold approach can be so tough, men can hold on to a woman for so long. I've observed men in my own social sphere who have stayed in mediocre to subpar relationships for so long due to fear of having to face the open market and its challenges. It's normal for both men and women to stay cocooned in relationships due to how difficult the open market can be. This is why there are a lot of bad relationships and sexless marriages out there.

 

[SW15]

approach has been far better in every metric. There is no catfish in pickup. There's no photoshop or filters. She's either dtf or #nextset! Approach minimum of a handful everyday.

Obviously calibrate. No means #nextset. Blow me or blow me out. I don't hesitate. I approach, pull or next. Even when I pull and I beat it rotten, #nextset! On the walk back to the car I will open new sets. It's always game time.

As said above, calibration and being selective on who you approach will reduce the number of bad approaches. You're still going to run through a lot of no's though. #nextset. @DEEZEDBRAH is always seducing and closing, which is important.

Cold approaching is an exercise in frustration. Most women you see around are either involved with a boyfriend, husband or significant other (maybe even another woman), are thinking of all sorts of life issues, and are just not primed to be social in the daytime. That's why it's a numbers game, and I have found that the yield is generally not worth the effort.

To offset this, I trained myself to detect the tiny, subtle signs or "invitations" that women send out to signify interest. They often think they're being obvious when in fact the signs they send out are usually barely perceptible.

I'm convinced that most men attract more women than they think, because they completely miss the signs (invitations) that women project. By learning to detect these signs, a man can change the ratio between cold approaches and warm ones. A smile is a sure tell, but there are many others. I've mentioned before that a useful "tell" to learn to detect is the last-second turn-away

So the key to approach improvement is to learn to detect the signs of interest and to develop an intuition about who's likely interested and who isn't. The signs are there but they come and go like lightning. Otherwise, it's nothing more than chance and the odds are stacked against you. That is demoralizing. If you go out with the specific intent of learning to recognize subtle sign of interest, you will definitely develop the skill.

It's not necessarily a numbers game. If you're doing all the wrong things, numbers won't make a difference. @momentomori claims 2,000 approaches without a single instance of sex.

I agree that most women will have a boyfriend, husband, or significant other. For me, most of those women have likely fallen in the non-approach category. Most of those women are the ones wearing earbuds/headphones on walking paths that I'm not talking to when they pass me by where I am typically stationed. A lot of times, on walking/hiking paths, I station myself in a high traffic area where I can evaluate the passing by foot traffic and do the approach. Every walking/hiking path has a choke point or two where this can be done.

Invitations do reduce the numbers to some extent. I'd rather approach with an invitation than without one. Even selecting good singles dense areas and good targets based on approach invitations, there are still going to be enough failed conversations.

If you catch a girl on the right day, they make it incredibly easy for you if you have basic game skills and know how to guide a woman into the bedroom (they make it easy for you by complying - date near your place, she goes along with your excuse to go back to your home, you seduce her etc).

For a girl to be an easy lay from a daygame pickup she has to be both available, and she has to like you. I agree with Roosh on this one. These 2 elements are crucial. If she likes you, but she's not available = no sex. If she's available, but she doesn't like you = no sex (sex for another guy).

2000 "No's" means that either all these girls didn't like you/weren't available.....or you're not closing. You're going up, saying some lines, then walking off without actually trying to number close her.

To get to 2,000 "No's", an approacher has to be doing something wrong. I can understand 200 "no's" but not 2,000. Even 200 consecutive no's is going to be psychologically damaging.

You're right about catching the woman in the right now and Roosh's 2 elements.

Maybe don't go out for dedicated daygame sessions where you're just crunching numbers without success. Part of the reason these women are so difficult, contrary to what other guys here are saying, is that they are actually getting spam approached all the time. That's why you're experiencing auto-rejections from women who aren't even looking at you. It's reflexive.

It's a difficult conundrum for men who want to approach women. On the one hand, it is a numbers game. But on the other hand, if every dude knows it's a numbers game (and I think many do) then women are going to be a lot harder and more hostile because they are constantly getting approached.

How many dudes know that they have to make the first move with women? I'd say this is pretty basic knowledge for guys.

A lot of in-person approaching has been transferred to the swipe apps, a phenomenon that pre-dates the pandemic. Most women have an in-person approach volume that is far less than her swipe app queue and swipe app inbox. It might even be less than her social media DM's asking for dates/sex depending upon how active she is on social media. Most men now are beta males who are swipe/text monkeys or copy/paste DM'ers.

I'm not sure that women are getting spam approached in-person as much as you think they are, but I think women are dealing with some spam approaching volume. It's like direct postal mail in marketing. There's been less direct postal mail in marketing due to the rise of email and social media marketing, but most people are still getting marketing offers in their snail mail box.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Some of those numbers look scary. I was in a in a ltr of 4+ years and she left me last summer.

Because of the pandemic, I didnt use cold approach, social circle or anything like that, I stuck to OLD. Got matches, got dates.

Some of these girls really wanted to ltr me but I didnt like them enough. I wasnt going to give exlusivity unless I liked a girl more than my previous ex, I wasnt gonna settle for less.

Good thing I stuck it out because I found someone like that in about October. All in all I was only a few months single.

 

[Velasco]

Ok so looks is the most important (NOT the ONLY thing that matters) because it allows your game (the application of the knowledge you've gained with regards to what women respond to) to work. If she is not attracted to your looks, then it will not allow your game to work.

This is the first principle.

Second. Pan87 touches on this, is the sexually available aspect. This means at the moment you approached or are in the process of trying to make something happen (like let's say you got her number. The night you got the number she was not sexually available but for whatever reason today she is) you are her top available option for casual sex.

This is the second principle.

Notice already we do not have much control over these two principles. Which is the source of a lot of frustration. Because you studied so much of the game knowledge from various sources. On and offline. But it is dependent on factors that are outside your control (the she needing to be attracted to your looks and her needing to be available at the moment you are trying to fvck her).

The third principle is need. Is she in a vulnerable position to where what you are offering to her is something she could use/very appealing to her. She may be attracted to you, have no current guys shes seeing, but is not in a headspace where she wants/or is open to fvcking a guy that approached her on the street, it won't happen.

You can control for this by choosing where you go to approach. Finding yourself somewhere where you are surrounded by many who are also looking for/open to what you are offering (casual sex).

Otherwise you may get lucky and notice some girl on the street as you go about your day, that fulfills these prerequisites. Or not, and find yourself having approached 2000 girls and left scratching your head what your doing wrong.

 

[Plinco]

This is a thread I need to be paying attention to. I have relatively little cold approaching experience and I think it would be good if more men could share their approach experience.

 

[Barrister]

I've done around 2,000 cold approaches all during the day. I don't do really do night cold-approaches as it does not fit with my lifestyle. I have had a few close encounters where I have almost gotten laid, but I still have yet to get laid from doing this. This hobby is incredibly time-consuming and for the number of approaches I've done I've gotten surprisingly few results. I would have never guessed cold-approach would be so difficult.

Most of the online dating gurus proclaiming that "if you follow my program, you can get 1 lay over every 30 approaches!" are straight-up lying. EVERY guy who I have talked to who approaches does not get laid on anything close to that frequency. Furthermore, I have tried most of the "big" techniques out there, and for the most part, no single technique produces greater results than any other technique, which are approximately no results.

Cold-approach has given me tremendous insight into women's nature, and the biggest insight I have gained is that most women are non-interested in men by default. The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you. Of course, there may be some cases where I'm not tall enough, not good looking enough, etc., but I actually feel that is pretty rare, given the fact women's knee-jerk reaction is to reject without even looking at you. It's almost comical at times how reactively they reject at times.

Anyway, I kind of see why dudes out there end up being a good cuck and marry a chick after she's ridden the carousel. Once they get a piece of strange they cling to it for dear life. I'm one of the .1 percent of dudes out there taking action, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Also, my photos have rated on photo-feeler 8.5, my fashion is fine, I'm a normal dude with a good job, well-groomed, yadda yadda. All the basics of what should lead me to success are covered. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways, just thought I'd share my experience with this. If you are curious about cold-approach I definitely recommend it. If anything it's just fun to go up to a chick who you think is hot and tell her you think she's attractive, or if you want to be a cuck and be indirect you can go that route too.

If anyone else want to share their experience of daygame then feel free to.

OP,

This is just a hunch, but I am guessing you are being way too formulaic in your approaches instead of making it natural. If you are a decent looking guy as you claim, you should have gotten quite a few numbers and subsequent lays out of 2000 approaches. These conversations need to be natural and not sound like you are following a script. Chicks can sniff out desperation like no other, and even if you have money and decent looks this may not be enough to overcome that.

I am also a big believer in approaching as you go about your day and not making a point to go out and approach just for the sake of approaching. Some guys can pull that off, but for me, it instantly makes my game feel off.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

How long has it taken you to do 2,000 approaches? If you told me that's 10 years of approaching, I'd believe it. That's about 200 approaches a year. A year has 365 days, so you'd be averaging one approach every other day. That's possible.

Cold approach is incredibly difficult. It's only slightly better than doing sales cold calling on the telephone. In sales and marketing, cold calling is considered a practice that is incredibly outdated and has been outdated since the 1990s. Even in the 1970s-1980s, it didn't work all that well. While picking up women is not entirely analogous to sales and marketing, there's enough overlap to have a conversation.

Do you want to know what else is difficult? App swiping. App swiping feels easier because you're sitting at home in your underwear, unshaven and unshowered, while evaluating prospects and sending text messages to prospects. It's much different to be on a walking/hiking path or on the street and seeing women wearing headphones/earbuds ignoring you and not even letting you start the approach. There are far more women who you won't even approach due to complete non-interest than women you approach and reject you.

I've had weekend afternoons where I went to a walking path in one of my city's most singles dense areas. This is one of the United States' most populated metropolitan areas. I've spent 2-3 hours outside on the path looking for approach opportunities. There have been plenty of times where in 2-3 hours I was only able to get 2-3 approaches done. I've lingered in grocery stores for an hour at a time (pre-pandemic) and only gotten in 1 approach that was a 30 second conversation. Sometimes 0.

It's good that you have a strong rating on Photo Feeler and have a good job, good fashion, etc. It is a tough mating environment when a guy whose photos rate 8.5 has the problems you have or a 6'4" man with big muscles gets rejected regularly.





1 lay in every 30 approaches in completely unrealistic. To get one woman to verbally agree to a date and give you her phone number, it might take 40-100 approaches. If you consider women from there who will show up on a date after verbally agreeing to date and giving a phone number, you might be looking at every 50-150 women depending upon how aggressive you are in approaching. Your numbers might be closer to 50 if you look for IOIs to some extent. If you're just approaching everything without calibration, you're looking at around 150. And that's doing pickup in neighborhoods in your area where singles are known to spend time. Getting sex is probably less than 1 in 100 approaches. I'd say sex is around 150-400 cold approaches. Getting a longer term girlfriend (1 year or longer) from cold approaching is around 200-700 cold approaches. These are just estimates and a lot of things can affect these numbers.

These numbers look terrible but the numbers on app swiping are likely even worse. Most men get a match on an app on a small fraction of 1% of their swipe rights.



Yes, most women are not interested in men by default. Depending on how you are approaching, most women that you could approach are likely to be in some sort of relationship at the moment that you approach her. Some men will approach anything and their efficiency numbers are terrible and they get more rejections. Most of the women who look unapproachable are ones with boyfriends/husbands and aren't in the market for new penis. You don't want to be interacting with these women as these interactions will drain your good energy. I sense that you are interacting with too many women from this category.

There are also socially inept women who cannot process non-bar approaches. There are also ugly women, fat women, etc.

On both swipe apps and in real life, women auto reject. I have a 35 year old childless female friend who lives in another city. I would rate her a 5 at best. I'm not attracted and never was. She recently went through her Tinder swipe queue of over 1,000 men. She only swiped right on less than 100 of them. Women tend to follow a similar process in real life. The difference in real life is that you're dealing with a less targeting audience than Tinder in theory. Tinder in theory is women looking to get a new penis. In real life, the typical woman walking on the street, in the mall, in the grocery store or other retail outlet, etc. is not looking to get a new penis.



Yes, because cold approach can be so tough, men can hold on to a woman for so long. I've observed men in my own social sphere who have stayed in mediocre to subpar relationships for so long due to fear of having to face the open market and its challenges. It's normal for both men and women to stay cocooned in relationships due to how difficult the open market can be. This is why there are a lot of bad relationships and sexless marriages out there.

Aaron Clarey did a podcast for a young man under 30. 6 figs. Guy swiped 20000 women. Had 10 matches. 3 agreed to dates. 1 showed up. Later ghosted. Unless at least 6 + the apps and OLD is going to be awful. Even then with the algorithm plus female entitlement, I much prefer pickup.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I liked your post until I got here. So anyone using SC to meet girls is a cuck?
My friend I am as sexual agressive as any guy and I tell you being indirect as in "not telling her you want to fuk" within the first minute is not being a cuck. Its socially calibrated. They already know you want to bang.
Its a numbers game.

+1

I have done both direct and indirect. I found indirect far better and more advanced methods are a combo of the two. Essentially push pull.

Fellas mistake "indirect " for the soy boy low t spineless male that sits when he pees. On this forum, I can count on a hand or two the amount that regularly approach. While I agree with RP mostly, it's abundantly clear majority are playing house, not actively in the game, and approaching never mind pulling.

Lost count on the amount Of hours dedicated to tinder swindler for HOURS. Pod after pod of this nonsense and psycho analyzing rubbish. God forbid anybody approaches.

These are where some of the ideas get blurred. Indirect but MAN TO WOMAN. there should still be no ambiguity about you taking your D out at some point.

Any fella approaching is stunting on YouTube and vast majority of the male population.

 

[lgbs2004]

I only approach when I receive buying signals from the girl

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

As said above, calibration and being selective on who you approach will reduce the number of bad approaches. You're still going to run through a lot of no's though. #nextset. @DEEZEDBRAH is always seducing and closing, which is important.



It's not necessarily a numbers game. If you're doing all the wrong things, numbers won't make a difference. @momentomori claims 2,000 approaches without a single instance of sex.

I agree that most women will have a boyfriend, husband, or significant other. For me, most of those women have likely fallen in the non-approach category. Most of those women are the ones wearing earbuds/headphones on walking paths that I'm not talking to when they pass me by where I am typically stationed. A lot of times, on walking/hiking paths, I station myself in a high traffic area where I can evaluate the passing by foot traffic and do the approach. Every walking/hiking path has a choke point or two where this can be done.

Invitations do reduce the numbers to some extent. I'd rather approach with an invitation than without one. Even selecting good singles dense areas and good targets based on approach invitations, there are still going to be enough failed conversations.



To get to 2,000 "No's", an approacher has to be doing something wrong. I can understand 200 "no's" but not 2,000. Even 200 consecutive no's is going to be psychologically damaging.

You're right about catching the woman in the right now and Roosh's 2 elements.



A lot of in-person approaching has been transferred to the swipe apps, a phenomenon that pre-dates the pandemic. Most women have an in-person approach volume that is far less than her swipe app queue and swipe app inbox. It might even be less than her social media DM's asking for dates/sex depending upon how active she is on social media. Most men now are beta males who are swipe/text monkeys or copy/paste DM'ers.

I'm not sure that women are getting spam approached in-person as much as you think they are, but I think women are dealing with some spam approaching volume. It's like direct postal mail in marketing. There's been less direct postal mail in marketing due to the rise of email and social media marketing, but most people are still getting marketing offers in their snail mail box.

Taking Ls is part of the game as you pointed out. I'd credit a early background in sales really helped me learn game on my come up. Anybody who is still teen or early 20s, I highly recommend it. Particularly if you can get good at it, it's something that you got or you don't. You get to a point where you are pre cognitive - i seeing closed sales before it happens. More importantly, I see fence sitters and time vampires. After enough pickup you spot the same. You know buying temperature. You test compliance. You PULL on a high note otherwise things fall off. You seed urgency and you exit.

I boost my Ws and I disregard my Ls. Look at RBI legends. The absolute greatest were strike out kings. They swung.

Sadly, your average male will not swing nor even show up. I blame low testosterone.

This is the competition? Lulz!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I only approach when I receive buying signals from the girl

You will drastically reduce your rejection rate but like the great one once said, "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. " or something like. Reward favors the brave.

This brings up another point. In the past women would give IOIs or something of a approach invitations. Today, the caliber is lower and women are glued to their phone. DHV is something that goes over a woman's head. It's not considered usually until the milk goes bad.

 

[lgbs2004]

This brings up another point. In the past women would give IOIs or something of a approach invitations. Today, the caliber is lower and women are glued to their phone

The last time I approached a lady was like 7 years ago, since then I'm on a LTR...so yeah....maybe I'm a little rusty

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Most people are in a relationship. In my case, I’ve been single one year out of the past dozen. If liquered enough, I might do some kissyface, I’ve never actually cheated. Women are probably the same. ‘In a relationship’ is probably the default status.
But much respect to those who can & do CA!!!

 

[fastlife]

The staggering amount of women who rejected me without even looking at me is astounding. It has nothing to do with my look, or anything else because most women will barely look at you and just reject you.

I can tell just from this that your tonality sucks. You're either not loud enough or not breaking rapport enough or both. I'd guess I get that type of response maybe 1/200 approaches--when I was starting out, I was getting this type of response most approaches. Tonality and eye contact (direct, relaxed, unwavering) are the 2 biggest quick fixes in cold approach.

Subcomms are sooo important. If you go in believing the girl will like you and stop for you and give you compliance, chances are she'll fall into that frame. If you go in half-stepping or anticipating a bad response, chances are she'll sense that and reject you.

IOIs are overrated IME. If I get really strong eye contact off a girl, chances are she has a bf (good chance he's in the venue and'll step shortly after a make the approach). And I tend to get overwhelmingly positive responses from just tapping a girl on the shoulder when her back's towards me and there's no way she's had time to see me before the approach.

If you're getting a positive response initially and the interaction doesn't go anywhere, you're probably not making the girl qualify (have standards) or leading (probs the most important thing). Work on that. And keep pushing it bro.