"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
CNN article: AFC in the extreme or just "in love?"
- Thread starter MrCode
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Her intrest levels in him are so low to have done this. Therefore spending $17,000 on this might be better off spend on a decent lawyer because she is going to take his a$$ to court and clean him dry.
Getting her back through begging is a recepie for disaster. If she really did cry was probably not because she misses him, its because she is tired of this sh1t and wants to get it over with as soon as possible.
Getting her back through begging is a recepie for disaster. If she really did cry was probably not because she misses him, its because she is tired of this sh1t and wants to get it over with as soon as possible.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
I don't think you can say it's AFC if they've spent 17 years together.
It's hard to say.
It depends on the circumstances of their breakup, first and foremost.
This guy might be a total stalker/crazy person and thats why they barred him from their house and she changed her number...without the whole story, we can't make a judgment either way.
It depends on the circumstances of their breakup, first and foremost.
This guy might be a total stalker/crazy person and thats why they barred him from their house and she changed her number...without the whole story, we can't make a judgment either way.
stalluproar
Senior Don Juan
After 60 roses and a $17,000 ad, pretty wussy to me no matter what.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
I cried when I read this too, hehehe,.. only for the rest of manhood who are still so whipped in their own thinking as to think that spending $17K is a bargain to be married.
For $17K this guy could've had a harem and lived like an Arab Sultan for a month here in prostitution-legal Nevada.
Sorry,...
For $17K this guy could've had a harem and lived like an Arab Sultan for a month here in prostitution-legal Nevada.
Sorry,...MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
sobby love notes will make any chick cry. Won't bring them back though. She's made a decision to punish her husband and his behaviour is feeding the fire..
you think thats afc ? Then you are by far the stupidest person in the world. They've been married for 17 years bro. You think he's just gonna act nonchalant like it doesn't matter to him ? Ya, thats really gonna get his wife back.
I don't know about paying 17k for an ad, but i'd definitely do something of the sort
I don't know about paying 17k for an ad, but i'd definitely do something of the sort
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
Yeah, I don't know, it is a tough call, that is why I posted about it.
My instinct makes me think of it as AFC behavior, but logically a 17 year marriage is not something you throw away. But if you think about it, I would imagine that she left because of his AFCish behavior (he was probably needy, controlling, jealous, etc.), so doing something like this doesn't help matters. But in the logic of his AFC mind that is what is required.
Sometimes you just need to know when to quit and move on. Not moving on and doing drastic things like this may or may not be AFC, but either way it isn't very healthy.
My instinct makes me think of it as AFC behavior, but logically a 17 year marriage is not something you throw away. But if you think about it, I would imagine that she left because of his AFCish behavior (he was probably needy, controlling, jealous, etc.), so doing something like this doesn't help matters. But in the logic of his AFC mind that is what is required.
Sometimes you just need to know when to quit and move on. Not moving on and doing drastic things like this may or may not be AFC, but either way it isn't very healthy.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
17 years doesn't mean $hit!!!! Didn't mean $hit to his wife when she went to those extreme measures to ensure he doesn't contact her.
His behaviour is totally "textbook" AFC...
He'd have better luck making a name for himself, moving on, keeping himself busy and showing her that her moving out has little affect on him. She'll later value him more because of this and will probably make the first move towards reconciliation.
17K... what a waste.... could've gone to tsunami survivors!!!!!!
His behaviour is totally "textbook" AFC...
He'd have better luck making a name for himself, moving on, keeping himself busy and showing her that her moving out has little affect on him. She'll later value him more because of this and will probably make the first move towards reconciliation.
17K... what a waste.... could've gone to tsunami survivors!!!!!!
I disagree, I think it is an AFC move what he done and I will tell you why. A DJ would not have allowed himself to be in this position to beg for a woman to take him back.
If he was true to himself and the relationship ended regardless who was at fault, spending 17 grand so that she can see the ad and somehow feels passion and would want to give him a second chance is the stuff movies are made of. Why would a second chance change anything?! If she agrees to it she will now own his a$$ and will get away with crap and he will eat her crap because he was the one that wanted her back. Relationship is all about power struggle and we know how happy men become when the wife has all the power???!!!
We don't know the circumstances but usually when people promise to change they often revert back to their old habits. How many people actually fulfill their new years resolutions?! Not to many. What has happen will most likely happen again. I say cut your losses and move on.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Yep, didn't have to read past the article's title either.
That kind of stuff never works. Kissing a woman's azz will not get her back, it will only reinforce what she thought of you to begin with.
I believe in keeping a marriage together, but if anyone thinks begging is going to do that you're out of your mind.
I believe in keeping a marriage together, but if anyone thinks begging is going to do that you're out of your mind.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
affliction
Don Juan
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If he's got $17k to blow on some ad, I'm sure he's loaded with money and probably doesn't have to be worried about acting AFC.
DeathDealer
Master Don Juan
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You know what I'd do with $17,000? Let's break it down bros:
$1,000 on BOOZE & FOOD...mix drinks, hard liquor, beer.
$1,000 on NEW CLOTHES to get me pimping again.
$1,000 on maybe a vacation to one week vacation to Hawaii or the Carribbean
$1,000 on my threesome fantasy with some HB8-10 h0s.
$1,000 gambling and hanging in las vegas.
$12,000 investing it in a much better car, down payment for mortgage, etc.
Now that's what a DJ would do, the afc would spend $17k on ADs and Roses.
$1,000 on BOOZE & FOOD...mix drinks, hard liquor, beer.
$1,000 on NEW CLOTHES to get me pimping again.
$1,000 on maybe a vacation to one week vacation to Hawaii or the Carribbean
$1,000 on my threesome fantasy with some HB8-10 h0s.
$1,000 gambling and hanging in las vegas.
$12,000 investing it in a much better car, down payment for mortgage, etc.
Now that's what a DJ would do, the afc would spend $17k on ADs and Roses.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
AFC or not, there's a reason she left. We don't know what that is, but I assume it was serious enough for her to pick up and move in with her parents after 17 years. She left so my guess is that he acted in some way so as to cause her to leave. If that is in fact the case then he did so out of some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship, only now he regrets the action. AFC gets married, AFC gets fed up with marriage because it's not what he expected marital bliss to be after 17 years, AFC fvcks an HB to feel alive again, AFC tells wife about it, wife leaves him, AFC spends $17K in vain effort to get wife back, AFC is socially ostracized, AFC puts a gun in his mouth after driving wife off even further.
Bang!
Bang!
So Many Ways
Master Don Juan
I can't blame the guy for doing what he did, he was married for 17 years. I'd figure you'd have to take that into account, before wondering if some behavior is "AFC" or not.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
I can't blame an AFCs for acting AFCish. Does that change anything??
It is an act of a FRUSTRATED chump!!!!!!! that makes it AFC!!!!
It is an act of a FRUSTRATED chump!!!!!!! that makes it AFC!!!!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.