"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Clubbing BS

green69

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I just started going to the clubs this summer - I've been maybe 10 times in total. I'm not that great at clubs yet although I have a great time there every night out. But anyways, on to the story...

Went with a few buddies out to the club on the weekend. I'm havin a good time, I see this girl I know (I actually danced with her for a few songs earlier in the night, she's a friend of one of my best buddies) talking/dancing with a couple girls on the dance floor. So I join in the circle (one of my buddies is there too.) One of this girls friends is really good looking. She is looking at me and I see her askin about me (asks the girl I know about me). She introduces herself to me and her friend. A minute or two later I move up behind her...and she starts backing into me and grindin' me. So anyways for the next 10 minutes we are dancing/having a good time on the dance floor. I'm really excited because this girl is just my type, and a good 7-7.5 and I'm havin a great time. So anyways after like 10 minutes or so she excuses herself to the bathroom - about 5 minutes later she comes back I am just chillen with some friends on the dance floor. She bumps into me and says that she is heading home because the last bus is just about to leave (true.) So it's my last chance and I ask her out...and she says "...Oh yeah I have a boyfriend."

I didn't see that coming at all. I mean why was she asking about me, grinding' on me...flirting and all that. Then she leaves to the bathroom, and comes BACK. So clearly she wasn't trying to blow me off cuz otherwise she coulda just taken off without saying anything. I was so disappointed cuz she was really cool and I was having a good time. Later I found out she apparently thought I was hot...(that's what the girl I know said when she asked about me) so I don't think the boyfriend excuse was made up.

So I was excited that I got somewhere at the club (sorta) but at the same time my perspective on clubs has changed. Is this behaviour typical? Was this girl actually interested, but just had a boyfriend? Or is this just typical behaviour that lots of girls do just to get some attention and have fun for a short while?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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LittleBigOne

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Look man, ever heard of the song "girls just wanne have fun...". Just like men there are girls who are going out to see friends and dance. Nothing more or less. When a girls dance with you for ten minutes it doesn't mean she likes you. And it's better to do not focus on one girl.
Read about clubbing on this site. It will help you!

DW
Netherlands, the
 

lebRambo

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^^^

he's right. girls dancing with you don't mean sh*t. its a c0cktease, i know, but thats the way it is.
 

quest

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why the hell were you asking her out anyway?


u grinded on her..
didn't even talk to her..

-desperation.
 

green69

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ok when I said I was 'dancing/having a good time with her' what I meant was grinding close front to front and getting to know each other. We were pretty much talking and laughing for the whole 10 minutes. She seemed pretty cool so I was interested.

Of course if I just danced with some random girl for 10 minutes without talking to her, I wouldn't expect anything out of that and I wouldn't be surprised she had a boyfriend.

Technically, she didn't do anything wrong. I mean just cuz she has a boyfriend, she isn't allowed to dance with other guys? She's not allowed to comment to a friend how she thinks a guy is hot, and she can't introduce herself to him? But just the combination of things that she did just made it seem like a tease...and that worries me because theres nothing to say that lots of girls don't do this because some of you guys are right...TECHNICALLY she didn't do anything off limits. TECHNICALLY I have nothing to complain about but it bugs me nonetheless.

But I mean just off the top of your head, a girl who is asking about you, saying you're hot to your friend, grinding with and you and getting to know you...would you think she was single? I certainly did and I was wrong. I guess I should be more careful and not take club girls so seriously anymore...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Q-Pid

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"I think I should not take club girls so serious anymore"

Right on.
 

green69

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Originally posted by Aaron B
What were your exact words when you "asked her out?"
"hey you wanna get together sometime?"
 

jiza101

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Dude, heaps of women do this, they love to feel like they can still get a dude while they have a boyfriend. They always like to have a backup plan, so that if she breaks up, she knows she can get another guy, you should have played her a bit harder, eg. Put your back away from her and dance with another chick, see how she reacts, that will normally tell you what she is thinking.
 

TxCowboy

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HAHA ...what a stupid h0 :D .....

so typical, its funny ... more fish to fry there partner ... blow that crap off ....

i would have pinched her a$$ cheeks and said "if you want more of this when your done with ur so-called b/f ... u know where to come get some " :D
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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