Closure with BPD-ex

[Cerwin Vega]

Alright, on second thought maybe saying it was a mistake - but again, who cares what she thinks? It's time to move on.

 

[Billtx49]

Just watched a movie about serial killer Aileen Wuornos. She was full blown BPD at it's worst.

 

[MattTheW]

Alright, on second thought maybe saying it was a mistake - but again, who cares what she thinks? It's time to move on.

Stop second guessing yourself fella

If it made you feel better then it was the right thing to do

You need to be the centre of your life - no one else. Others get to orbit you not the other way round, you have to look after number one, no matter who it hurts.....

Time to move on fella

 

[Cerwin Vega]

All these memories come floating now and everything seems to fit so well:
This one time we went out with my friends, after 5 minutes she said she's feeling cold and wants to go home. I told her I will come with her, she literally pushed me out of her car so I won't come with her.
I called her at 2am and her phone was busy. Now I know why she went home that slot.
Now I know why she was tired all the time.
Now I know why she was acting so indifferent.

I'm not worried, karma will take care of her.

What does it say about me? Am I already at stage 2- anger?

 

[Shaka]

Not sure about the stage thing.

For me it's more like a rollercoaster.
Sometimes it's a little bit of anger, sometimes you feel lonely, sometimes nostalgic of some good time and sometime you don't give a **** and you feel empowered.

With time, this rollcoaster become flat. Until you reach the point of not giving a shat.

At least, embrace all of those. Don't deny it. This will make you a stronger and better man. A real fortress. (ps : don't forget to spin plates, it helps getting over quickly. At least for me)

Best of luck

 

[christoff522]

All these memories come floating now and everything seems to fit so well:
This one time we went out with my friends, after 5 minutes she said she's feeling cold and wants to go home. I told her I will come with her, she literally pushed me out of her car so I won't come with her.
I called her at 2am and her phone was busy. Now I know why she went home that slot.
Now I know why she was tired all the time.
Now I know why she was acting so indifferent.

I'm not worried, karma will take care of her.

What does it say about me? Am I already at stage 2- anger?

When dealing with BPDs you don't follow the normal stages of grief. It's impossible because the BPD is still alive, and could still make contact and/or be seen at any point - as well as the unresolved feelings and the trauma of the relationship itself.

You will hit highs and lows, some days will be good and you'll be glad it's over, other days you will be desperate for contact. Unlike a normal relationship you will be almost psychotic at times, ruminating and mulling over every last detail you can remember.

She was tired all the time because BPD's don't go to bed, She was acting so indifferent because of 'splitting', She probably went home because she felt so uncomfortable with your friends. BPDs are off their heads, desperate for 'unconditional' love and acceptance. In a relationship this means what they want, what they do, how they behave cannot be questioned in any way shape or form, and their fantasies must be entertained. You cannot in any way shape or form call them out on their actions, if you do they will split (view you as good persona and bad persona) and the inevitable process of being painted black begins. Literally, if you call a BPD out on bad behaviour they will either think YOU are the bad one, or that you're insane.

BPDs are never to blame.

You cannot live like that, as a sane human being, you either have to be extremely lonely (as I was), or have severe character deficiencies, or to have gone with them when you were young before the disorder (or demonic possession) began to rear its ugly head.

Karma will not take care of her. This to me proves that you're not over her. It takes an inordinate amount of time for you to process this, a lot more than a normal relationship will.

My advice is to spend as much time as possible thinking about every bad thing that happened..people would advise against this, but you have to process it, you can't run away from it, you can't hide or bury it, it has to be dealt with. Once dealt with you can begin to move on. Make sure to delete her number, delete/block facebook. Just go through it. If you could get yourself to a nice sunny climate for a while that'll help.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Yeah, I can feel the waves exactly how you described them even throughout the day.

By the way, she went home so she could talk to him. She cheated on me, by what she said "nothing physical happened when we were together" but get real slut - you slept with him after a week, it doesn't change the reason you're a fvcking wh0re.

Thank god she cheated on me now. She was talking non stop about marriage and having kids, moving in together etc, I can't even imagine what would've happened if I got sucked into that black hole.

Funny thing is my sperm wouldn't even want to get into her, she would always tell me how her pvssy burns like hell after I cvm inside of her. My sperm knew she's bad news. I bet even if it met one of her eggs it would've shred that wh0re to pieces. :yes:

Man I talk a lot of **** when I vent. :crackup:

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

Everybody always says go no contact, what the hell are you suppose to do when they go silent and just up and leave? I don't get her,..

 

[christoff522]

Everybody always says go no contact, what the hell are you suppose to do when they go silent and just up and leave? I don't get her,..

No contact is more for when they're still in your life. If they're not in your life, work on yourself, go the gym, read self-help books, go out clubbing, go make new friends, go sky-diving, go the library. Make new neural paths - do new things that aren't associated with the BPD. You're into habits, habits that can't be fulfilled now that she's left. But you literally need to deal with the issue YOU HAVE, that causes you to have such a person in your life, and to crave the kind of sociopathic abuse that you've suffered.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Good thread - the only way to keep BPD chicks around and in line is to treat them like dog **** and stick to your guns when the manipulation comes. She will worship you. Sad but True - Never get emotionally invested and give very little if any validation.

Ignore them and watch them go bat **** insane.

 

[christoff522]

Good thread - the only way to keep BPD chicks around and in line is to treat them like dog **** and stick to your guns when the manipulation comes. She will worship you. Sad but True - Never get emotionally invested and give very little if any validation.

Ignore them and watch them go bat **** insane.

Actually ignoring mine at the moment. She keeps posting stuff on fb that she knows I like, suddenly starts loving cats, and loving my songs on smule telling me how she's listened 4 times. I shall continue to ignore. I really want to see her start telling me how much she loves me.

Fvck me I'm such a narcissist

Also, I'm going totally ghost for a week, no internet or phone for 7 days (as per this http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=37710)

Should get her losing the plot entirely.

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

Yeah but when they start ignoring you they can last for years. Watch out with that one.

 

[christoff522]

Yeah but when they start ignoring you they can last for years. Watch out with that one.

I don't think anyone is that AFC that they would sit around waiting for their BPD to contact them for years.

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

I've waited six months. But she took our kid too.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 4 of crazy sex with the new girl.

She had quite a few lovers before me, yet she calls me her Sex God and says I'm the BEST she's ever had.

First time we've had sex I was a bit nervous so I couldn't finish...after 40 minutes she said "oh my god, I came three times already and you're not even close! you're an animal!!!" we've had to stop because she got sore, LOL!

Now where's my ex with her "10 orgasms in a row"?

Can't believe I doubted myself because of her.