"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Clint Eastwood-type voice a detriment

Atom Smasher

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I think that in my formative years I subconsciously picked up on Clint Eastwood-like mannerisms and I wonder if this is a detriment?

Although I'm doing better and better with the ladies, I think it might be more after the fact when and if they start to see my character.

Specifically, I have that quiet assurance and that "whispery" kind of voice he has. I didn't adopt this by choice at all, and I don't know how much of it is natural and how much I picked up from the actor. I always did admire the lone cowboy he always played, and the similarity in voice and body language is striking, so I figure I must have emulated it without making a conscious decision to do so.

These mannerisms seems to be the antithesis of what a so-called "alpha" man is supposed to be... Outgoing, loud, and with a strong voice.

I wonder if I should train myself out of it (if that is even possible) or just roll with it and use it to whatever advantage I can?

Please don't tell me to go ahead and make your day... This is a serious question, as I'm concerned about the wisdom of trying to change one's mannerisms in order to fit a perceived template of what women generally find attractive.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Julius_Seizeher

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Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.

You are what you are. So ARE you a rugged, independent, stoic individual? Or do you have cognitive dissonance issues regarding this perceived aspect of your character? Always bear in mind, one's vision is different when looking upon himself.

Furthermore, I am highly contemptuous of all these behavioral definitions for what is Alpha and what is not. It's something you bring out from the inside, not a system to be learned on the internet.

But don't disdain the Eastwood, he is the greatest living example of positive masculinity and the day he dies will be a sad one for all of us. I don't worry though, we'll carry the torch.
 

Just a Shot Away

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.
Yeah, but the OP is talking about his VOICE, man. Clint Eastwood's game consists of "Suck it, bitch." That's one of the benefits of being a screen legend. So obviously he never has to worry about his mannerisms.

As far as the voice goes, I can't see this being anything but an asset. Personally I can't see any woman losing interest in you because you sound like a famous actor/director...unless that famous actor/director happens to be Gilbert Godfried.
 

Atom Smasher

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.

You are what you are. So ARE you a rugged, independent, stoic individual? Or do you have cognitive dissonance issues regarding this perceived aspect of your character? Always bear in mind, one's vision is different when looking upon himself.

Furthermore, I am highly contemptuous of all these behavioral definitions for what is Alpha and what is not. It's something you bring out from the inside, not a system to be learned on the internet.

But don't disdain the Eastwood, he is the greatest living example of positive masculinity and the day he dies will be a sad one for all of us. I don't worry though, we'll carry the torch.
Yes, I am rugged, stoic and independent. I really don't think there is a dissonance, and you really have made me think about that. I guess I was thinking that the typical "alpha" stereotype is what today's woman seems to go for, and in a group that loud guy is always going to get women's attention. It will eclipse the strong, more silent type.

I've always found it interesting, though, that in virtually every group that I become a part of, I'm kind of sidelined initially, but as time goes on I virtually always become the actual leader of the group. I seem to observe the group dynamic at first and then somehow rise to a leadership position.

Perhaps I should simply value who I naturally am more and use my strengths and worry less about those externals. Sometimes reading these forums can get a man questioning too much about himself.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Atom Smasher

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Just a Shot Away said:
Yeah, but the OP is talking about his VOICE, man. Clint Eastwood's game consists of "Suck it, bitch." That's one of the benefits of being a screen legend. So obviously he never has to worry about his mannerisms.

As far as the voice goes, I can't see this being anything but an asset. Personally I can't see any woman losing interest in you because you sound like a famous actor/director...unless that famous actor/director happens to be Gilbert Godfried.
Lol regarding Gilbert.

I think the thing on my mind is this... The Eastwood voice and mannerisms work great in the movies, but how do those mannerisms translate into real life in terms of attraction? I can't help but notice that the outgoing, loud alpha boy usually has the edge initially. Thanks for the input, guys.
 

jophil28

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Atom Smasher said:
...the typical "alpha" stereotype is what today's woman seems to go for, and in a group that loud guy is always going to get women's attention. It will eclipse the strong, more silent type.
That loud guy will attract all the initial attention - just like the attention grabbing of a car wreck noise at a traffic light. Ultimately that loud , wannabe alpha is gonna start getting on the women's nerves.
Stay with Clint.
 

jophil28

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Atom Smasher said:
I've always found it interesting, though, that in virtually every group that I become a part of, I'm kind of sidelined initially, but as time goes on I virtually always become the actual leader of the group. I seem to observe the group dynamic at first and then somehow rise to a leadership position.

.
So you answered your own question ^^
 

Atom Smasher

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Ok, guys, thanks. I'll stick with my natural bent and work to develop myself within those parameters.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Julius_Seizeher

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"A man's gotta know his limitations."
 
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