"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Clint Eastwood-type voice a detriment

Atom Smasher

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I think that in my formative years I subconsciously picked up on Clint Eastwood-like mannerisms and I wonder if this is a detriment?

Although I'm doing better and better with the ladies, I think it might be more after the fact when and if they start to see my character.

Specifically, I have that quiet assurance and that "whispery" kind of voice he has. I didn't adopt this by choice at all, and I don't know how much of it is natural and how much I picked up from the actor. I always did admire the lone cowboy he always played, and the similarity in voice and body language is striking, so I figure I must have emulated it without making a conscious decision to do so.

These mannerisms seems to be the antithesis of what a so-called "alpha" man is supposed to be... Outgoing, loud, and with a strong voice.

I wonder if I should train myself out of it (if that is even possible) or just roll with it and use it to whatever advantage I can?

Please don't tell me to go ahead and make your day... This is a serious question, as I'm concerned about the wisdom of trying to change one's mannerisms in order to fit a perceived template of what women generally find attractive.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Julius_Seizeher

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Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.

You are what you are. So ARE you a rugged, independent, stoic individual? Or do you have cognitive dissonance issues regarding this perceived aspect of your character? Always bear in mind, one's vision is different when looking upon himself.

Furthermore, I am highly contemptuous of all these behavioral definitions for what is Alpha and what is not. It's something you bring out from the inside, not a system to be learned on the internet.

But don't disdain the Eastwood, he is the greatest living example of positive masculinity and the day he dies will be a sad one for all of us. I don't worry though, we'll carry the torch.
 

Just a Shot Away

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.
Yeah, but the OP is talking about his VOICE, man. Clint Eastwood's game consists of "Suck it, bitch." That's one of the benefits of being a screen legend. So obviously he never has to worry about his mannerisms.

As far as the voice goes, I can't see this being anything but an asset. Personally I can't see any woman losing interest in you because you sound like a famous actor/director...unless that famous actor/director happens to be Gilbert Godfried.
 

Atom Smasher

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Julius_Seizeher said:
Clint Eastwood would never worry about whether his mannerisms are an asset with women. And the fact that he wouldn't be bothered by such things, is a greater asset yet.

You are what you are. So ARE you a rugged, independent, stoic individual? Or do you have cognitive dissonance issues regarding this perceived aspect of your character? Always bear in mind, one's vision is different when looking upon himself.

Furthermore, I am highly contemptuous of all these behavioral definitions for what is Alpha and what is not. It's something you bring out from the inside, not a system to be learned on the internet.

But don't disdain the Eastwood, he is the greatest living example of positive masculinity and the day he dies will be a sad one for all of us. I don't worry though, we'll carry the torch.
Yes, I am rugged, stoic and independent. I really don't think there is a dissonance, and you really have made me think about that. I guess I was thinking that the typical "alpha" stereotype is what today's woman seems to go for, and in a group that loud guy is always going to get women's attention. It will eclipse the strong, more silent type.

I've always found it interesting, though, that in virtually every group that I become a part of, I'm kind of sidelined initially, but as time goes on I virtually always become the actual leader of the group. I seem to observe the group dynamic at first and then somehow rise to a leadership position.

Perhaps I should simply value who I naturally am more and use my strengths and worry less about those externals. Sometimes reading these forums can get a man questioning too much about himself.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Atom Smasher

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Just a Shot Away said:
Yeah, but the OP is talking about his VOICE, man. Clint Eastwood's game consists of "Suck it, bitch." That's one of the benefits of being a screen legend. So obviously he never has to worry about his mannerisms.

As far as the voice goes, I can't see this being anything but an asset. Personally I can't see any woman losing interest in you because you sound like a famous actor/director...unless that famous actor/director happens to be Gilbert Godfried.
Lol regarding Gilbert.

I think the thing on my mind is this... The Eastwood voice and mannerisms work great in the movies, but how do those mannerisms translate into real life in terms of attraction? I can't help but notice that the outgoing, loud alpha boy usually has the edge initially. Thanks for the input, guys.
 

jophil28

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Atom Smasher said:
...the typical "alpha" stereotype is what today's woman seems to go for, and in a group that loud guy is always going to get women's attention. It will eclipse the strong, more silent type.
That loud guy will attract all the initial attention - just like the attention grabbing of a car wreck noise at a traffic light. Ultimately that loud , wannabe alpha is gonna start getting on the women's nerves.
Stay with Clint.
 

jophil28

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Atom Smasher said:
I've always found it interesting, though, that in virtually every group that I become a part of, I'm kind of sidelined initially, but as time goes on I virtually always become the actual leader of the group. I seem to observe the group dynamic at first and then somehow rise to a leadership position.

.
So you answered your own question ^^
 

Atom Smasher

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Ok, guys, thanks. I'll stick with my natural bent and work to develop myself within those parameters.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Julius_Seizeher

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"A man's gotta know his limitations."
 
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