"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Chick passes out with my **** in her mouth

Magma

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
464
Reaction score
24
Location
North Coast
I usually don't post my activities/field reports here, and I wanted to take a break from SS, but this one was just too funny to not post. :up:

I was at the bar alone, and was approached by a woman a few years my senior while standing outside between the band's sets. She was drunk, but wasn't overly smashed. She started to kino me and gently pushed me up against the wall, running her hands over my stomach and my pecs (to check out my physique. women do this.). Apparantly she liked what she felt and she leaned in and we began to make out. This all happened in the span of about one minute.

We chatted for about 15 minutes. I gathered that she was a bit drunk, but I didn't give a fvck because it just landed in my lap and was getting late.

Long story slightly less long, I follow her home to make sure she doesn't get pulled over and get to her house. We begin to make out savagely upon entering her condo and leave a trail of clothes into the bedroom. Now I realize that this chick is pretty fvcking drunk, but again, don't care.

So I have her naked on the bed except for her panties. I go to remove the very standard cotton panties she was wearing (ugh) and discover a fvcking maxi pad! I puked a little in my mouth.

So I tell her to just give me head and she obliges. The head was absolutely horrible. She was waaaay too drunk. All of a sudden she kind of stops and is laying on my legs her face is in my balls. Next thing I know I hear snoring!!! LOL!!

So I gently slide out from under her and briefly entertained the thought of jerking one off onto her whilst being passed out. It was three in the morning and I just wanted to get the fvck out of there. So I got dressed and went home.

Funny as all get out. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I gotta say, that's definitely a first for me.

Hoped you enjoyed this tale, gents.

Ahhhh. Good times.....
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,589
Reaction score
6,377
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
briefly entertained the thought of jerking one off onto her whilst being passed out.

lol, me too. I have never had a girl pass out mid-oral, but have thought the same thing about a passed-out chick - that she deserved to wake up with crusty hair as punishment for passing out on me.
 
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
2,153
Reaction score
13
You guys are going to get hit with a rape charge one day.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Real_Deal

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
54
Reaction score
1
Location
Michigan
Thats just priceless, I bet it's a once in a lifetime thing.
 

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
Nice! Mad props killer!
 

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2002
Messages
4,626
Reaction score
28
Age
40
Location
Colorado
You just made my day.
 

Latinoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
4,028
Reaction score
58
I don't deal with drunks to avoid legal issues. But if I was in that situation...I would have left her with a load on her face/hair. Should have gotten a beer or two in your way out too.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
112
Reaction score
3
Lololol I wish I had a sleep story to tell like that, the best I got is a girl threw up on my d1ck while she blowin me one time...and she had grilled cheese for lunch :\
 

Demon Wolf

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2006
Messages
99
Reaction score
0
:crackup: hilarious, but My Name is Noboby is right. If she is passed out she cannot legally give consent.
 

SinJester

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
1,226
Reaction score
44
Location
Australia
LOL

Thats why ya try and avoid the drunks :p
 

Red07

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2007
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
hahahahahahahaahahahaahahaha! Nothing wrong with leaving an angry gorilla!
 

michaelhctam

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
193
Reaction score
3
you're lucky she didn't puke whilst she passed out.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,282
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
ok, that made my day as a I write a paper.

comic_relief
 
Top