"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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cheek brush = kiss of death?

J

Jordache.DJ

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Picture this: a night spent on a hot salsa date, good chemistry, good conversation, great kino ... it is late and we have just walked home. On going for a kiss, I get the cheek. What's more, she pretends in some meta-discourse that I am trying to give her a Montreal-style kiss goodbye on both cheeks. Her comment fit somewhat with the coy humor we shared during the evening, and I rib her that no, it is not quite as regional as that, it is the pretty universal end-of-date kiss goodnight. I get no response and say goodbye.

I am curious what you guys think about the cheek brush and if it is sign enough for NEXTing. I am hesitant to do so as I am the picky type and she is one of the few salsa dates in which I have some genuine reciprocal interest.

A little more background: I first took her dancing in November, which went well, but did not follow up on it because I was busy dating others. Her MSN status page (she was asking about mine) says long-term relationship but she has not mentioned a boyfriend in either of our two dates.

Due to my schedule now I am leaving next Wednesday and will be away for three weeks. It would be nice to know how strong a prospect she is before I go.

What do you think: cool it until I get back, or perhaps take her to a movie on Tuesday (we are running out of material). Our date was Friday so it is a little early. Another alternative is invite her out next Thursday to gauge her receptiveness and cancel if she accepts (I will be gone by Thursday). I could bring it up more directly on MSN but I doubt that would go over well. Or is a NEXT in order here.

Thanks for your input.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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J

Jordache.DJ

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Scratch the second part of the question. The hand-wringing was obviously an emotional response. In a few days, I'll ask her for a night out when I return.

That said, I'm still curious what everyone thinks about the cheek brush. In general, is the cheek brush a kiss of death regarding her IL, or could there be other factors at play?
 
W

willysquared

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Since it was your second casual date, I wouldn't find it enough for a NEXT. I think she was trying to tease you. The double cheek kiss thing is kind of weird though.

I'd lay low and pursue other interests for now. You DO have other interests right?

:cool:
 
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