"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

cheek brush = kiss of death?

J

Jordache.DJ

Don Juan
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Picture this: a night spent on a hot salsa date, good chemistry, good conversation, great kino ... it is late and we have just walked home. On going for a kiss, I get the cheek. What's more, she pretends in some meta-discourse that I am trying to give her a Montreal-style kiss goodbye on both cheeks. Her comment fit somewhat with the coy humor we shared during the evening, and I rib her that no, it is not quite as regional as that, it is the pretty universal end-of-date kiss goodnight. I get no response and say goodbye.

I am curious what you guys think about the cheek brush and if it is sign enough for NEXTing. I am hesitant to do so as I am the picky type and she is one of the few salsa dates in which I have some genuine reciprocal interest.

A little more background: I first took her dancing in November, which went well, but did not follow up on it because I was busy dating others. Her MSN status page (she was asking about mine) says long-term relationship but she has not mentioned a boyfriend in either of our two dates.

Due to my schedule now I am leaving next Wednesday and will be away for three weeks. It would be nice to know how strong a prospect she is before I go.

What do you think: cool it until I get back, or perhaps take her to a movie on Tuesday (we are running out of material). Our date was Friday so it is a little early. Another alternative is invite her out next Thursday to gauge her receptiveness and cancel if she accepts (I will be gone by Thursday). I could bring it up more directly on MSN but I doubt that would go over well. Or is a NEXT in order here.

Thanks for your input.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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J

Jordache.DJ

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Scratch the second part of the question. The hand-wringing was obviously an emotional response. In a few days, I'll ask her for a night out when I return.

That said, I'm still curious what everyone thinks about the cheek brush. In general, is the cheek brush a kiss of death regarding her IL, or could there be other factors at play?
 
W

willysquared

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Since it was your second casual date, I wouldn't find it enough for a NEXT. I think she was trying to tease you. The double cheek kiss thing is kind of weird though.

I'd lay low and pursue other interests for now. You DO have other interests right?

:cool:
 
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