Changing the convo to avoid friending

[SingledadinKY]

What's a non-****head way to basically say "I gives a damn" and changing the subject when a new girl you are talking to wants to wax poetic about past relationships and other nonsense which can lead you into the friend zone? When these subjects have come up I've basically said something like "yeah, can you please get me something to drink?" or I'll just say "damn, look at the time, gotta go." I kind of feel like a **** - am I doing it right? Worse yet, what if she asks you specifically, "can I call you? I really feel bad about something and need to talk" and you know damn well it will be one of those "friendly" types of conversations. In the past even if I just listen and say "umm hmm" while she does all the talking I've had them say "thanks for listening...you're such a great friend!"

 

[PDubb75]

If it's getting to the point where she asks you those questions, you are doing something wrong. You shouldn't have to deflect those questions, because you shouldnt be hearing them. It means she has already put you in the friend zone. It's not your answer to that question that will put you there.

My assumption is you haven't escalated physically before that point.

What do you generally talk about before it gets to this point you are asking about?

 

[floydb25]

There's only two possibilities:

1.) She's not that attracted to you, and was going to view you as a friend regardless.

2.) You are placing YOURSELF into the friend-zone by not taking any ACTION.

People view you as you make them feel, and categorize you accordingly. If you are always available, attentive, a good listener, and so forth - you become a friend. This is how you're acting; its the vibe you are giving off. You seem like, or are a nice person who listens to their problems. The more you listen to said problems - the deeper into friends territory you get. As well as other things friends do.

Lovers take ACTION. You must place yourself in this category - not the boring friends' one.

However, it should be STRONGLY noted that, even despite this, if someone is attracted to you, they will still show signs of interest. They'll probably be confused and act confusing because you're acting too friendly, but there will still be flirting, sexual innuendo's, and all that good stuff. Just because you're acting like a friend - doesn't mean they're not interested. But, if you fail to do anything, they will eventually lose interest.

Someone who's interested won't say you're just a friend. It won't happen. You can act like an idiot nice guy all you want, and they will still show sexual interest until the end. If she's not making any sexual advances or suggestions - she is NOT into you.