"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Caring too much about what others think?

BornWinner

Don Juan
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I seem to have low self esteem sometimes. I believed that I care too much about what others think about me. I feel that whenever there is a kind of accomplishment, I don't deserve the reward. Probably I've been told by others that I'm not that worthy. How do we get rid of feelings of low self worthiness, low opinion of self?

I felt discomfort when I've been given praise excessively. Is this an indication of low self esteem?

It seems that I cannot confirm my new self image and old self image.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dan Hunter

Don Juan
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i used to get worried what others think of me but now it doesn't bother me.
To get rid of your fear do things like

dance on and empty dance floor
Karoke on your own
show no fear what ever you do

and always be positive
 

Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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It sounds exactly like me before finding this site. All of my actions were geared around getting the approval of others, or avoiding disapproval at least.

An important aspect of my reformation was finding out that lack of confidence/low self-esteem was my main issue with women - and in my life as a whole. Before then I wondered if it was because I was ugly or had something else wrong with me and became quite paranoid, when in fact it was the paranoia itself that was causing my failures and trapping me in this cycle.

Now I have managed to reverse the cycle. The more confident I am, the more respect, interest and compliments I receive, which makes me even more confident and earns me more respect etc.

Your problem is most probably your self-esteem issue itself rather than any external cause. Negative thinking tends to yield negative results, so you need to focus on the mental issues you have rather than what external conditions might be causing them.

If you can, try to get hold of Anthony Robbins - "Power of Focus". This is probably the most useful audiobook I've found on this matter.
 
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