"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Caring too much about what others think?

BornWinner

Don Juan
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I seem to have low self esteem sometimes. I believed that I care too much about what others think about me. I feel that whenever there is a kind of accomplishment, I don't deserve the reward. Probably I've been told by others that I'm not that worthy. How do we get rid of feelings of low self worthiness, low opinion of self?

I felt discomfort when I've been given praise excessively. Is this an indication of low self esteem?

It seems that I cannot confirm my new self image and old self image.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Dan Hunter

Don Juan
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Jul 4, 2004
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i used to get worried what others think of me but now it doesn't bother me.
To get rid of your fear do things like

dance on and empty dance floor
Karoke on your own
show no fear what ever you do

and always be positive
 

Dirtheart

Master Don Juan
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Mar 18, 2004
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It sounds exactly like me before finding this site. All of my actions were geared around getting the approval of others, or avoiding disapproval at least.

An important aspect of my reformation was finding out that lack of confidence/low self-esteem was my main issue with women - and in my life as a whole. Before then I wondered if it was because I was ugly or had something else wrong with me and became quite paranoid, when in fact it was the paranoia itself that was causing my failures and trapping me in this cycle.

Now I have managed to reverse the cycle. The more confident I am, the more respect, interest and compliments I receive, which makes me even more confident and earns me more respect etc.

Your problem is most probably your self-esteem issue itself rather than any external cause. Negative thinking tends to yield negative results, so you need to focus on the mental issues you have rather than what external conditions might be causing them.

If you can, try to get hold of Anthony Robbins - "Power of Focus". This is probably the most useful audiobook I've found on this matter.
 
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