"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Caring about your appearance too much?

steve_erkle

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
109
Reaction score
1
I find that I care a lot about how I look. I think i get most of my confidence from my looks, because when i get a not so great haircut or just dont look as good, I don't feel as good. Many people here say "Just stop caring bout how you look" but I feel like my mind is programmed that way. I've tried to kind of reprogram that kind of thinking but it hasn't done much and I end up still not feeling great since I don't look good.

My thinking is that I should stop fighting my mind, just accept it and try to improve my looks as much as I can. I know that it seems shallow but if this is the way my mind works why reject it?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Bossman08

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2008
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
Nothing wrong with caring about how you look. But getting most of your confidence from your looks is weak man. Your confidence has to come from within, you already know that though. Fix up. Do the work.

Accept it, focus on whats good on the inside and move forward, you can always grow more hair and get another haircut later. Much ado about nothing man.
 

loving

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
206
Reaction score
2
Location
Follow your bliss
it begins to matter less and less how you look the more and more you become present

that being said when you need new clothes pick ones you like and once they are on your body forget them
 

Darth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 20, 2005
Messages
1,626
Reaction score
98
Age
36
steve_erkle said:
I find that I care a lot about how I look. I think i get most of my confidence from my looks, because when i get a not so great haircut or just dont look as good, I don't feel as good. Many people here say "Just stop caring bout how you look" but I feel like my mind is programmed that way. I've tried to kind of reprogram that kind of thinking but it hasn't done much and I end up still not feeling great since I don't look good.

My thinking is that I should stop fighting my mind, just accept it and try to improve my looks as much as I can. I know that it seems shallow but if this is the way my mind works why reject it?
Me too. I'm trying to change the way I think, but it's really tough. When I know I'm not looking my best, I automatically feel weaker/less confident.
 

steve_erkle

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
109
Reaction score
1
Bossman08 said:
Nothing wrong with caring about how you look. But getting most of your confidence from your looks is weak man. Your confidence has to come from within, you already know that though. Fix up. Do the work.

Accept it, focus on whats good on the inside and move forward, you can always grow more hair and get another haircut later. Much ado about nothing man.
It's a lot easier said than done man. This is the way my mind works and it's hard to just stop that on the drop of a dime. How do you specifically get your inner confidence?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

DarkShade

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
252
Reaction score
12
Location
Atlanta
Try to smell nice at least, the sense of smell is the strongest one we have, so if you smell nice they'll be drawn to that. Just don't douse yourself in cologne.
 

Treetz

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2007
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
"" We live in a society that defines beauty to us through everything from advertisements to scientific studies about facial symmetry. Most of us grow up believing that how attractive we are as people has so much to do with our physical qualities.

The perception we have of ourselves fuels our confidence, and those who build their worth on mostly physical appearance have their self-esteem set on a sandy foundation."

Read the full article:

http://www.kinowear.com/blog/how-to-make-genetics-irrelevant-in-attraction
 
Top