Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Caring about your appearance too much?

steve_erkle

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I find that I care a lot about how I look. I think i get most of my confidence from my looks, because when i get a not so great haircut or just dont look as good, I don't feel as good. Many people here say "Just stop caring bout how you look" but I feel like my mind is programmed that way. I've tried to kind of reprogram that kind of thinking but it hasn't done much and I end up still not feeling great since I don't look good.

My thinking is that I should stop fighting my mind, just accept it and try to improve my looks as much as I can. I know that it seems shallow but if this is the way my mind works why reject it?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bossman08

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Nothing wrong with caring about how you look. But getting most of your confidence from your looks is weak man. Your confidence has to come from within, you already know that though. Fix up. Do the work.

Accept it, focus on whats good on the inside and move forward, you can always grow more hair and get another haircut later. Much ado about nothing man.
 

loving

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Follow your bliss
it begins to matter less and less how you look the more and more you become present

that being said when you need new clothes pick ones you like and once they are on your body forget them
 

Darth

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steve_erkle said:
I find that I care a lot about how I look. I think i get most of my confidence from my looks, because when i get a not so great haircut or just dont look as good, I don't feel as good. Many people here say "Just stop caring bout how you look" but I feel like my mind is programmed that way. I've tried to kind of reprogram that kind of thinking but it hasn't done much and I end up still not feeling great since I don't look good.

My thinking is that I should stop fighting my mind, just accept it and try to improve my looks as much as I can. I know that it seems shallow but if this is the way my mind works why reject it?
Me too. I'm trying to change the way I think, but it's really tough. When I know I'm not looking my best, I automatically feel weaker/less confident.
 

steve_erkle

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Bossman08 said:
Nothing wrong with caring about how you look. But getting most of your confidence from your looks is weak man. Your confidence has to come from within, you already know that though. Fix up. Do the work.

Accept it, focus on whats good on the inside and move forward, you can always grow more hair and get another haircut later. Much ado about nothing man.
It's a lot easier said than done man. This is the way my mind works and it's hard to just stop that on the drop of a dime. How do you specifically get your inner confidence?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DarkShade

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Try to smell nice at least, the sense of smell is the strongest one we have, so if you smell nice they'll be drawn to that. Just don't douse yourself in cologne.
 

Treetz

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"" We live in a society that defines beauty to us through everything from advertisements to scientific studies about facial symmetry. Most of us grow up believing that how attractive we are as people has so much to do with our physical qualities.

The perception we have of ourselves fuels our confidence, and those who build their worth on mostly physical appearance have their self-esteem set on a sandy foundation."

Read the full article:

http://www.kinowear.com/blog/how-to-make-genetics-irrelevant-in-attraction
 
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