Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Can't get over her

Viper423

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2002
Messages
228
Reaction score
0
Location
United States
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 days ago and I'm so depressed. I find myself getting online just to check her away message on AIM to see what she's doing, and checking her website to see if she's updated it. I have told myself that things will never be like they were so I need to move on, but it's just so hard, i cared so much about her. I invested so much into our relationship and it's just so hard. How can I get over her quicker?
 

Jager_Boy

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 28, 2004
Messages
43
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Go out and bang girls...lots of girls...trust me, it works.
 

johnny_chase

Don Juan
Joined
May 6, 2004
Messages
139
Reaction score
0
Age
39
Location
CANADA, EH?
i find the best way is to get out of the house, out in the world, so that you can see that it does go on with out you.

I have a chick barteneder i go and talk to sometimes...
 

Sugarfoot

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2000
Messages
147
Reaction score
0
Location
NY
How many real relationships have you been in? How old are you? How long was the relationship? We've all been there, my friend. It happens to the best of us. We invest so much time, money, and emotions into things so dear to us, hoping to keep our special bonds alive and healthy, yet they die sometimes. Trust me, no matter how unique you think your relationship may have been, the suffering you are going through has been felt by billions of men throughout history--please take solace in that. Moreover, take solace in the fact that the pain you feel is a good thing insofar as it is the first step in the healing process. Anyone that's been in a meaningful relationship and then dumped has thought to themselves, "how can I go on?" Yet, we do move on: remember, there was a time in your life when she wasn't around.

Anyways, first thing you need to do is get her number off the speed dials of any phone it may be on. Next, delete her off your buddies list, and remove her from any other favorites list she may be on (this goes for the website as well). Put any letters she gave you, photos, mementos, etc. in a box and hide it somewhere where it's out of your sight (it will probably be too difficult for you to get rid of them all right now). Trust me, I'm not a sensitive, docile male--but if you need to cry, then cry. It doesn't mean you're weak. Read your letters if you want before you put them away, just don't obsess over them. Yes, she may have said "we'll be together forever," but for a woman this could mean as little as a week. Yes, you two may have made plans for the future, but as the great philosopher/boxer Mike Tyson once said, "everybody has a plan . . . until they get punched in the mouth."


YOU MUST AVOID ALL CONTACT WITH HER!
Avoid places that you may run into her like the plague. If you have mutual friends, don't ask about her. Do not call her or e-mail her just to see "what's up." If a birthday or some other day that was special to you two is near, do not let it be an excuse to be weak and give in. If she calls you or writes you to tell you how much she's missed you, that she loves you, or some bullsh!t like that, don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know how bad you've been feeling. Do not tell her that you've missed her. Be bold--be a man--and get her off the phone quickly. A quick "I'm real busy right now, I can't talk" will do. Do not call back. Remember, if she really loved you, you two wouldn't have broken up.

I know this means sh!t to you right now (and rightfully so), but there are other women out there. You will forget about this girl.
Reconnect with old friends. Reconnect with the family you may have neglected because of this girl. If you're not working out, then start. If you have been working out, it's time to accomplish those fitness goals you've ignored. It's hard not to start feeling better when you're improving yourself. Also remember: you are desirable to some women out there; after all, this girl found something special in you, and it is a certainty that there are others who will also see that in you (but you must be in a position to let them see this).

There's alot more I can write, but I don't want to clutter up the board. I'm sure others will be along to help you. In the meantime, though this site is tongue in cheek, you may find some pearls of wisdoms to let you know that things will be better: http://www.relationsh!t.com

( Replace the "!" with the letter i )

Take care, and keep us updated.


TOOTLES™
 

Qmanchoo

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2005
Messages
189
Reaction score
1
Location
Boston, MA
Have two drinks, grab a good friend with game, go out to a good bar where women expect to be approached and flirted with, flirt with no less than 10 women...to come to the obvious conclusion that while she broke up with you you're still an attractive game tossing pimp that can get the ladies with he turns it on and she's missing out by getting rid of you. Makes you feel ****ing great, takes 2 hours of your life, even go to a part of town you don't frequent if you want to really take the pressure off.

Get out of your computer chair TONIGHT and stop recycling those damn "oh WOE IS ME" emotions that will ONLY MAKE THEM SELVES WORSE IF YOU DWELL ON THEM. I did once, and it A. sucked B. was pointless in the end C. really showed me how much of a wuss I needed to beat out of myself and become a man

Dude, do you realize that RIGHT now there are at least 100 good looking girls (if you're in a populated area) within 10 mile radius that are single, would die to hook up with a man that has relationship experience, and who are LOOKING for a partner?

Do you realize that there are hundreds of thousands of men out there that would love to even have been in ONE friggin relationship in their life?

You turned it on to attract this women, now turn it BACK ON to attract others. Get a haircut, cook yourself a meal, listen to some KICKASS pumped up music, put on some fresh clothes, shave your pubes. Do whatever it is you need to do to get that loving life GREAT vibe to once again burn within you that you had with you and this girl first met, that magical attractive emotion that’s magnetic to humans in general!

If you do this for yourself you'll not only feel better but you'll get over the next one that much quicker! You'll empower yourself to be the selector knowing that next time it happens you wont BE EMOTIONALY DESTROYED, because why should you??? You placed too much of you emotional self within SOMEONE ELSE without having that emotion come from within YOU first! Never depend on another person for love and affection or your personal happiness! and for god sake people, everyone who gets too attached FAILS! never let yourself enter that trap!

Get your ass out of that computer chair man, it's the only way!

And when you're hooked up with a new girl, make sure your old one knows, she'll be crawling back because she sees that other girls want you! And if she doesn't, who cares?
-- I have to edit this part -- only do this depending on your personality and moals...sometimes it backfires lol

NEXT!
 

Legend

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2003
Messages
874
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
NY/CT
Sugarfoot really hit the nail on the head.

You must avoid this girl completely...basically think that shes no longer alive or that she moved far away.

You have to get your mind off of this girl. It's tough when you have found a girl that you feel you are really close with and that you care about and the stupid bytch goes and ruins things.

Ive been through a break up and i was hurt really bad, and i still think about this girl to this day, and its been awhile too. She left me for some mexican guy. I avoid her completely and it makes me feel so much better. She told me she wanted to come over to catch up, and i told her i was busy. I felt like the man after that....i actually had nothing to do, but i dont want to waste another minute of my life looking at her.

I felt terrible but i didnt let her know, I deleted her sn, her number and got ride of everything that reminded me of her. I stopped going to the places me and her use to hang out in. I didnt cry over my break up because i realize i'm the man and she nothing but trouble, but i think crying is a good thing to let out your feelings.

Sure im jaded a little bit, because i cared for this girl very much so. I should have seen it coming. The best advice I can give you so to cut all contact. Its the only way to free yourself of this person. Dont try to work things out, that never works and dont stay friends, that just causes more problems.

Also I bought a dog and it really makes me much happier....if you have the time and money i suggest one.

Try not to be jaded from this experience. I'm so jaded right now im finding it hard to meet new girls because i dont want to got hurt again.

Best of luck to you buddy, stay strong and it sucks she broke up with you after x-mas! That bytch!

Keep your head up and dont let this girl think she can control your happiness.

John
 

ER!C L!VE

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
903
Reaction score
6
Age
50
Location
WORLDW!DE
Mmmmmmaaaannnn.....

Been there done that.

It truely sucks, but there is nothing that you can do about it except move on with your life.

I know what it's like when you think that you are just dirt and no girl will ever want you again and all that shyt.

It takes time, man. Believe it or not, but it took me over 4 years to get over my ex who I only dated for 1 year! (she did become an LA Laker cheerleader after we broke up, so you can understand her hawtness).

Best Wishes,

Eric

www.tenderz.net/forum
 

Caveman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 22, 2001
Messages
695
Reaction score
2
Location
NL
Like ^^^ Been there, done that. It's almost like you describe me a few years ago.

Everyone is right. You have to get on with your life. Pick a new hobby and get yourself busy before you make an ass of yourself by calling her in your weak moments. Begging, pleading and trying to get back together is only gonna make things worse. Make your life worth living without her.

She may or may not want you back after a while. But don't hold your breath for her. Find other girls to have fun with to boost up your ego again and pretty soon you'll be feeling a lot better.
 

Craig Reeves

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2003
Messages
519
Reaction score
24
Age
40
Location
Texas, USA
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!!

The most mortifying emotion that a man can feel is rejection. And when a woman we truly love rejects us, it can be just outright horrible.

Here are some things you can do to ease the pain...

1. Do not talk to her at ALL. Never. I don't care what the reason or how long it has been since the two of you broke up. ESPECIALLY if you are upset about ANYTHING. Let me tell you why:

Women like that do not feel sympathy, empathy, or care about anyone's emotions but their own. Period. So what she will do if you ever let her know that you are upset or feel weak is take advantage of these emotions of yours and use them to manipulate you and drive you crazy. It's best just never to speak to her again. Ever.

2. Find another girl to start talking to, even if you have to FORCE yourself (and you probably will). You feel used and lonely right now, and a ****tail of those emotions can equal up to depression. What you need to do is find and surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are.

3. Stop blaming YOURSELF as to why she dumped you. You feel worthless because she treated you like you were worthless, but just because she TREATED you as if you were worthless does not mean that you ARE. She's just too worthless HERSELF to APPRECIATE a good man when she sees one. That's the truth.

4. Stop seeing her as being so great. Just because she has a pretty face and a few ******d qualities about her does NOT make her great.....because let me tell you something.....whatever greatness she's got, it won't last. ******d greatness doesn't last. Inner greatness DOES.

This is a BIG one that most guys don't think about. You feel like you had LOST something great when the truth is that you never HAD something great - you had something that you had HOPED would be great. Start realizing that you have GAINED something by finding out what kind of person she really IS, and stop looking at it as if it was YOUR loss - whatever you did to cause her to dump you was more than likely something she brought upon HERSELF. And guess what......because YOU'VE got inner greatness and she doesn't, you're going to wind up happy in the long run and she'll wind up miserable. See, she may be aloof, happy and busy right now....but her time is running out abd ub the back of her mind, I can be ya 10 to 1 she knows this.....trust me on this.
 

Legend

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2003
Messages
874
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
NY/CT
Craig Reeves well said man...great post
 

Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
795
Reaction score
0
Location
Boston, MA
Banging 10 other chicks is the silliest advice ever given. It might work for STR recovery, but for LTRs it just takes time. Heck I still remember a girl I tried to get three years ago (oneitis), and we were good friends for a while. I haven't seen nor contacted her in a long time yet I still remember her. I just make a concsious effort not to let it bother me anymore.
 

b's nuts

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2003
Messages
626
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Location
If I was up your ass you'd know
Originally posted by Viper423
I invested so much into our relationship and it's just so hard.
INVESTED?!?! Who are you Charles Shwaab? The window of opportunity to drink, do drugs, and have sex with hot young women is growing shorter by the day. Ok, i can't take credit for that, its out of road trip, but for future reference, dont do that.

Make the next girl invest in your relationship equally or more than yourself.

Give yourself a little time to heal, then go fvck ten other women.
 

SevenOne9

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
65
Reaction score
1
Location
Where ever I'm at
I've been there as well, and all I can say is...

It takes time.

Instead of investing yourself on another person as a priority... FIRST and foremost, you should concentrate on yourself.

Don't let this thing bring you down, think of it as an opportunity to start over.
 

The DomMega

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2005
Messages
59
Reaction score
2
Age
44
Location
Las Vegas, NV
haha, sugarfoot said tootles.

Just listen to what everyone else has said, its candycoated enough that you should be able to get some use out of it. I'm harder on people who's relationship ends regardless of who's fault it is, but only if they pine over the same girl for months after.

Time heals all wounds, stay away from this girl, and use this time to emotionally heal yourself. You're too vulnerable to do anything relevant at the moment, and your vulnerability will be seen by other women if you go out looking for some new ass. Just asking to get taken advantage of. So just chill it skillet, and relax for a bit. You'll be alright.

After a month or so, no more feeling bad for yourself. You officially have to move on, but right now you have some lead way. ;)

Fin.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,635
Reaction score
180
Age
44
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Originally posted by Viper423
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 days ago and I'm so depressed. I find myself getting online just to check her away message on AIM to see what she's doing, and checking her website to see if she's updated it. I have told myself that things will never be like they were so I need to move on, but it's just so hard, i cared so much about her. I invested so much into our relationship and it's just so hard. How can I get over her quicker?
Start looking for the next one.

Kinda in the same line of thought as "bang lots of girls," but at the same time, you're not going to be able to go out and just snatch up a replacement, and putting pressure on yourself to is going to make you miserable.

It's just something you have to be a man and deal with, bro. Acknowledge that you're single again and start looking for the next girl.
 

Fenderules

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2003
Messages
873
Reaction score
1
Age
37
Location
Alberta
so viper.........was she cheating after all or no?



i remeber from your other posts and what you said......looks like its best you broke it off cause it sounded like a bad relationship in the first place
 

cave dweller

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2004
Messages
573
Reaction score
6
2 ways.....

Hey,

There are only two ways to heal your broken heart.



Get back together with her.........

or

Find another one..........

cave dweller
 

FM 3321

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2004
Messages
461
Reaction score
3
Location
Texas
I loved what Sugarfoot said.


In my case I pretty much got over my first "relationship" that ended. It pretty much fizzled out and I found out she liked someone else. That was like a shot to the heart and also since this girl is my sisters friend, avoiding her or hearing about her is much harder than if it was a girl that I wouldn't have a chance of running into unless I made the effort.


This time last week I was feeling awful about it and I did cry a few times. So cry if you need to but there is very good advice on this forum if you need help getting over a girl.

Learn from your mistakes, don't get upset at her because you never know, she could come back. But don't hope she will come back just improve yourself as a man, not for her but yourself. Funny thing is that by that time you'd probably find a girl that's much better than this one. You're gonna look back today and laugh at how bad you felt and chuckle because what you thought was platinum probably was only silver.

EDIT: What Craig Reevessaid was also absolutely brilliant. It made me feel better about my situation. WOW. :)[
 

Legend

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2003
Messages
874
Reaction score
2
Age
40
Location
NY/CT
Funny thing is that by that time you'd probably find a girl that's much better than this one. You're gonna look back today and laugh at how bad you felt and chuckle because what you thought was platinum probably was only silver.
This is very true....also viper i wouldnt even take this girl back if she does decide to come back.
 
Top