"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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can't get into conversation

hope7

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I just can't get into the conversation. . . . .

Im trying to make friends (i don't have any close friends right now).
Whenever im with a group of people, I feel like I don't anything to add to the conversation. I just sorta sit there waiting for an oppurtunity to talk.

Has anyone else felt this way. Anything I can do to change my mentallity.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

deano

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hey there mate
i had a simular issue
what i did was:
1. talk to evrybody who i met no matter how unconfertable i felt
2. watched ALLOT of stnd up comedy
3. allways made sure i dressed well looking good on the outside makes you feel good on the inside

listion mate just talk to as amny people as you can keep firm eye contact whilst doing so, not matter how unconfertable you feel within a few weeks you be ok
hte stand up comedy helps allot, gives you a ton of jokes to lighten the mood!

hope this helps
(pardon the spelling moistakes)
 

nyc123

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just be confident about yourself. if you have interests that are similar to other peoples then you will easily make friends. having similar interests means easier conversations
 

Doggystyle

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really really listen to what the people are saying, this should give you all sorts of conversational threads to go off

boring example:
someone in group: i went swimming the other day
you: i love going swimming, i've been going 3 times a week, my shoulders are absolutely aching!

do a search on spirit fingers post called, complete guide to vibing, i'd post a link but can't work out how!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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squirrels

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hope7 said:
I just can't get into the conversation. . . . .

Im trying to make friends (i don't have any close friends right now).
Whenever im with a group of people, I feel like I don't anything to add to the conversation. I just sorta sit there waiting for an oppurtunity to talk.

Has anyone else felt this way. Anything I can do to change my mentallity.
You have something to add. Unless it's something very specific. What kind of convos? Give an example.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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be interrogative

I just can't get into the conversation. . . . .

Im trying to make friends (i don't have any close friends right now).
Whenever im with a group of people, I feel like I don't anything to add to the conversation. I just sorta sit there waiting for an oppurtunity to talk.
You don't need to add anything or try to be an expert to impress them into being friends with you. If they're talking about something you know nothing about, ask tons of questions rather than make statements. Don't say, "I've never done that/went there or I don't know him/her." These are conversation killers.
 

SamePendo

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I personally suck at making conversation with a group. Now, something that is very easy is when it's talking about you, since, well, you talk and talk. I'd advice you to go 1 on 1, and make ... friends ... that way. Babysteps, you'll probably won't be able to make conversation with a group if you can't with an individual.
 

Hitman10000

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Go to the library there are plenty of books on how to communicate effectively.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Quiksilver

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When there's a big enough pause in the conversation(one topic is dying down and another is beginning), start your own topic.

Example:

person1: so yeah, that [whatever] was pretty funny back there...
everyone else: Haha yeah...

[PAUSE]

You: so did any of you guys see that new movie that's come out?

this should start the convo in a new direction under your control. hint: try to make it a topic that you are genuinely interested in, this will ensure that you remain 'in' the convo and don't get butted out by people that are just talking loud and making noise.

Also, watch the news and keep track of sports scores, etc...this'll give some nice convo's with you again as the 'lead man'.

Talking loudly works too.

If it's a social setting, don't be afraid to shut someone down if they say something stupid(in a joking way of course). This generally gets a laugh out of the rest of your buddies and sends out the 'dominance' vibe.

If you're all just milling around hanging out somewhere, take physical control of the group by suggesting going somewhere/doing something more fun, etc. Think of something decent while you aren't talking, and suggest it in a commanding tone in one of those pauses i talked about above.

Try to refrain from too many questions or you'll get bumped down the social ladder and it gives people a chance to act condescending towards you.

Be the man with the plan! act like a leader, not a follower(do what YOU want to do, not what THEY want to)...and people will follow if they think your idea would be more fun.


FYI this all comes from experience, there's no philosophical bull**** in there.

and one more thing that I thought of, because you're gunna be pretty new to these people you're meeting: because you're the new guy, they're gonna be testing you...giving you verbal punches, etc..generally not respecting you fully yet. For a situation like this, draw a line for yourself somewhere between Not taking **** from ANYBODY, to not being an uptight bastard who can't take a joke.

Play it cool.
 
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