Can't get her out of my head

[Spaz]

Been hung up onto girl 1 for a while, we work together and she rejected me, but still comes into the office (see her daily), all smiley etc. I told her I don't want to be just friends (that's what she proposed, saying that she didn't feel that attraction to me). Now I'm dating girl 2 and we're fvcking and all (she's average), but I'm still hung up to girl 1 (who's a 8/9 to me). Obvs can't delete her from my life as we work together, and the whole thing just sucks. Any tips?

Behind every successful man, there's a woman - a line often used by women and also by men who's been brainwashed.

But behind every unsuccessful man, there's who?

 

[user252009]

Behind every successful man, there's a woman - a line often used by women and also by men who's been brainwashed.

But behind every unsuccessful man, there's who?

Not sure what you mean

 

[daproest1]

Bro don’t sh!t where u eat. And remember, you’re better than her. Act like it. She can’t have you. Because u don’t Sh!t where u eat. So you are unattainable to her. Even if she wanted you, u won’t let her have u. Internalize this, MEAN IT, and watch how her behavior toward you changes. I’m not telling u to ignore the girl, or treat her like sh!t. You’ll know exactly how to behave if you can get yourself to believe what I mentioned. She is not allowed to have you. You’re better than her. And u wouldn’t touch her even if u could.

 

[user252009]

Bro don’t sh!t where u eat. And remember, you’re better than her. Act like it. She can’t have you. Because u don’t Sh!t where u eat. So you are unattainable to her. Even if she wanted you, u won’t let her have u. Internalize this, MEAN IT, and watch how her behavior toward you changes. I’m not telling u to ignore the girl, or treat her like sh!t. You’ll know exactly how to behave if you can get yourself to believe what I mentioned. She is not allowed to have you. You’re better than her. And u wouldn’t touch her even if u could.

Wish I could do this, I really do. Tried it, can't do it, I guess only finding a hotter one than her will do

 

[daproest1]

Wish I could do this, I really do. Tried it, can't do it, I guess only finding a hotter one than her will do

IF u get a hotter one than her, u won’t ever care about this again.

 

[user252009]

IF u get a hotter one than her, u won’t ever care about this again.

true dat

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Been hung up onto girl 1 for a while, we work together and she rejected me, but still comes into the office (see her daily), all smiley etc. I told her I don't want to be just friends (that's what she proposed, saying that she didn't feel that attraction to me). Now I'm dating girl 2 and we're fvcking and all (she's average), but I'm still hung up to girl 1 (who's a 8/9 to me). Obvs can't delete her from my life as we work together, and the whole thing just sucks. Any tips?

Your goal should not be to still get with her, your goal should be to eliminate being hung up on her. It's embarrassing and something you should not accept for yourself. The key here is to get your selfrespect and power back with her, not with a hidden goal to get her, just for your own selfrespect.

 

[user252009]

Your goal should not be to still get with her, your goal should be to eliminate being hung up on her. It's embarrassing and something you should not accept for yourself. The key here is to get your selfrespect and power back with her, not with a hidden goal to get her, just for your own selfrespect.

Of course that's my goal

 

[Spaz]

Not sure what you mean

U r miserable and that's why u sought our advice.

If u r miserable, then somebody else needs to be fixed, in ur case, how to fix that woman, that's causing you misery.

But I won't tell you that, as some of the others here did.

What I would tell you is this, you need to be fix or repaired.

If u r sick with covid 19 and feeling miserable, who should be given the medicine? Shall we give it to someone else?

If u r hungry, should you give the food to someone else?

The answer is of course not, since it would only work if it's given to you.

Does this not mean it works for every aspect in ur life?

That if u r miserable, something else or somebody else doesn't need fixing, you do.

 

[manfrombelow]

One-itis can ONLY be cured by:

1/ Having a healthy lifestyle, including a clear purpose, good hobbies, hitting the gym on a daily basis and be content with being by yourself.
2/ Having an abundant resource of women aka plates.

 

[bat soup]

Been hung up onto girl 1 for a while, we work together and she rejected me, but still comes into the office (see her daily), all smiley etc. I told her I don't want to be just friends (that's what she proposed, saying that she didn't feel that attraction to me). Now I'm dating girl 2 and we're fvcking and all (she's average), but I'm still hung up to girl 1 (who's a 8/9 to me). Obvs can't delete her from my life as we work together, and the whole thing just sucks. Any tips?

Be cordial but try to minimise your interactions with her.

 

[user252009]

Update on this one. So after that date we had when she asked to just be friends (and I declined), we didn’t speak for a year, and I just recently started a new job (as well as my side career moving up), so she texted me for the first time since then. Also during the holidays, when we exchanged a few texts back and forth. Now I asked her for a coffee date and she replied that she’s gonna take up the offer when her weekends are more free. Obvs I didn’t reply anything so I wanted y’all’s thoughts on whether I just standby and see if she sets it up or do I completely block her everywhere and carry on. Thoughts?

 

[user252009]

Leave it open. She must persue this on her own. Desire must come up on her end.

Cool, that was my plan

 

[user252009]

Well, just saw today she's with some guy on vacation, so went ahead and finally deleted her number and blocked her on all social media. By far the most bitter red pill I had to swallow in my life, but that's what it is. Live and learn.

 

[Barrister]

The original thread here is from October 2020 where everyone told you to forget about this woman (and rightfully so). The fact you are even still coming here to comment on this woman shows that you didn’t take any of the advice.

I am guessing you have zero dating prospects right now. If you did - you wouldn’t be coming here 1.5 years after and posting about the same exact chick. She doesn’t spend a single moment of her life thinking about you. Stop letting her live rent free in your head. Go talk to other woman and do it NOW. It’s the only thing that is going to get you moving on.

 

[Redwolf]

Sure. We've gotten kind of close through work, hung out one time, and chatted from time to time, but I asked her out a few times to grab a bite or something, and she often had excuses. Then, she asked to get some ice cream a few weeks ago, and she asked me there whether I thought this was a date or just getting together as friends. She then said that this happened in her past a few times already, and that she seems to be giving off vibes of interest whereas she's actually just being *really* nice. So I told her I can't be just friends, and that I'm good either way, and to let me know if she decides otherwise. Haven't talked to her much since then, and we haven't texted anymore (obviously). Although, she did come to my office a few times, smiling and all that, but whatever.

I can relate to this and had a similar experience. I made it clear what I wanted. She acted indifferent and so I walked away. Now dealing with other women and she gets none of my attention anymore. She's definitely feeling the distance. Whether anything comes from that I don't know.

 

[Mike32ct]

All the YT videos about escape the FZ say the same thing:

1. Ignore her or distance yourself
2. Change up your look and/or work out
3. New job etc.

Despite all this, the friendzone is almost never escaped. Odds are so slim that it’s not even worth trying.

 

[user252009]

All the YT videos about escape the FZ say the same thing:

1. Ignore her or distance yourself
2. Change up your look and/or work out
3. New job etc.

Despite all this, the friendzone is almost never escaped. Odds are so slim that it’s not even worth trying.

I did all of that, didn't change sh!t. We were supposed to meet up and I left it to her, but she never got back to me during the agreed time, and now as soon as I saw that pic of that guy, I blocked her. Oh well, life goes on.

 

[SW15]

All the YT videos about escape the FZ say the same thing:

1. Ignore her or distance yourself
2. Change up your look and/or work out
3. New job etc.

Despite all this, the friendzone is almost never escaped. Odds are so slim that it’s not even worth trying.

I am fortunate that I have not had this problem. There are drawbacks in not keeping female friends (fewer social circle introductions) but the benefits of not being stuck in a friend zone with a woman outweigh any drawbacks.

I have female acquaintances & rarely have I ever received an introduction from my female acquaintances.

I wouldn’t bother trying to leave the friend zone but I think it would be good to end female friendships where you’re attracted to the woman, she’s available, and you’re available.

 

[SW15]

So after that date we had when she asked to just be friends (and I declined), we didn’t speak for a year, and I just recently started a new job (as well as my side career moving up), so she texted me for the first time since then. Also during the holidays, when we exchanged a few texts back and forth. Now I asked her for a coffee date and she replied that she’s gonna take up the offer when her weekends are more free. Obvs I didn’t reply anything so I wanted y’all’s thoughts on whether I just standby and see if she sets it up or do I completely block her everywhere and carry on. Thoughts?

Well, just saw today she's with some guy on vacation, so went ahead and finally deleted her number and blocked her on all social media. By far the most bitter red pill I had to swallow in my life, but that's what it is. Live and learn.

Not talking to her for a over a year was a good move and also changing jobs where you don't see her was good too. It wasn't good to ever get involved with her. Another poster called it rookie league, which it was. You were in your 30s when this started.

In January, she had another choice and demonstrated low interest level.

Following her on social media was a bad idea. You would have forgotten about her without the social media follow.

The original thread here is from October 2020 where everyone told you to forget about this woman (and rightfully so). The fact you are even still coming here to comment on this woman shows that you didn’t take any of the advice.

I am guessing you have zero dating prospects right now. If you did - you wouldn’t be coming here 1.5 years after and posting about the same exact chick. She doesn’t spend a single moment of her life thinking about you. Stop letting her live rent free in your head. Go talk to other woman and do it NOW. It’s the only thing that is going to get you moving on.

He does deserve credit for not talking to her for over a year.

You're exactly correct that he has zero dating prospects right now. Any guy with at least 1 prospect wouldn't have mentioned her.