Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Can't figure out why I act this way

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
146
Reaction score
21
Age
34
Girl at work, not romantically interested but wouldn't say no if she wanted to f***.
So I try out new things on her, just as a test. But every single time when there is a girl who I get involved with, even if it's just a 'testsubject' sort to speak, there will be a day I feel the need to ignore her as much as possible.

I figured out I do this just so she would say something like "why do you do this, I don't like it, I like it better when you act normal". So I think it's a need for approval, of someone acknowledging they like me (even if it's just in a friendship way).

So yeah I did this with this girl at work, it was fun working with her, but now I kinda feel I ruined everything. At the start she still tried to engage me, but she just gave up after a while. I managed to save it a bit today and kinda acted normal towards the end (it was very hard for me to start acting normal again and I don't know why). I'll still have to work with her from time to time, so I think the best approach is to just keep acting normal like nothing happened?

But it will happen again that I 'want' to act this way. Is it just that need for approval that I want to get out of a girl by acting this way? I know it's pathetic and that I have a ridiculous long way to go before I become who I want to be, but you can imagine I get frustrated with myself. Is it perhaps something that happened in my childhood, that I didn't get enough approval and somehow got it by acting like that?
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
4,126
Reaction score
3,659
Age
31
Location
Sweden
Have you seen a therapist?
 

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,206
Reaction score
4,951
I'm getting Troll vibes here.

In the chance you are genuine, this a serious case of insecurities!

You want her to NEED you.. You ignore her, so she gives chase, and that makes you feel better and wanted.

If you carry on down this road, your future relationships will end in disaster.

Nip it in the bud.. You need to build your self confidence and STOP seeking validation from woman.

Start hitting the gym, take on a hobby, build a strong social circle around yourself. Get a good Career!

STOP NEEDING WOMAN
 

Billtx49

Moderator
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
6,089
Reaction score
5,486
Location
DFW
First time I’ve heard of a man doing this kind of extreme push/pull…
 

marvinlfloresq

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2018
Messages
198
Reaction score
75
Age
43
I'm getting Troll vibes here.

In the chance you are genuine, this a serious case of insecurities!

You want her to NEED you.. You ignore her, so she gives chase, and that makes you feel better and wanted.

If you carry on down this road, your future relationships will end in disaster.

Nip it in the bud.. You need to build your self confidence and STOP seeking validation from woman.

Start hitting the gym, take on a hobby, build a strong social circle around yourself. Get a good Career!

STOP NEEDING WOMAN
Has to be a Troll.
 

RestUnknown

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2016
Messages
146
Reaction score
21
Age
34
Unfortunately not a troll. And yeah it is extreme but sometimes it works, I’ve had some gone crazy about it, mainly the ones with high IL. But I do it for the wrong reasons, and I don't know how to get rid of it. Well probably have more plates, but yeah, that's where the problem lies.
 
Top