Cannot believe how weak some men are

[KingofPuss]

So at work today, my boss was talking to female coworkers about his girlfriend or whatever. He started crying and accepted sympathy from all the women. A GROWN ASS MAN CRYING at work, instead of doing his job. I lost a lot of respect for him.

Then he goes on all day talking drama with these girls about coworkers who are not there today.

I simply mind my business and don't listen to a lick of it, which gets me the right sort of attention from the women. Since I only work with around 6-10 people a say in a kitchen, there is a group of attractive servers who orbit around my area all day. I see them looking from afar and pay no attention. But these other dudes are talking about rumors and drama and feelings and yadda yadda. And then I saw the President cry on TV the other night... smh come on men

 

[bigneil]

He should be fired for that. Wussing on the job.

 

[Billtx49]

Everyone has known Obama was a wuss for the past 8 years. Putin noticed along with quite a few other world leaders.…

 

[wifehunter]

So at work today, my boss was talking to female coworkers about his girlfriend or whatever. He started crying and accepted sympathy from all the women. A GROWN ASS MAN CRYING at work, instead of doing his job. I lost a lot of respect for him.

Then he goes on all day talking drama with these girls about coworkers who are not there today.

I simply mind my business and don't listen to a lick of it, which gets me the right sort of attention from the women. Since I only work with around 6-10 people a say in a kitchen, there is a group of attractive servers who orbit around my area all day. I see them looking from afar and pay no attention. But these other dudes are talking about rumors and drama and feelings and yadda yadda. And then I saw the President cry on TV the other night... smh come on men

It's pretty common... Undignified wussies, are the norm.

He probably cries like girl, too!!!

What a wuss!!! (Butthead voice)

 

[Serenity]

Yeah, come on men, suppress those emotions. Don't show how you really feel, don't be weak. Be a machine, appear as if you're dead inside and have lost all trace of humanity.

See a guy crying? Ignore the sh!t out of him, walk away from that pathetic loser.

(Sarcasm)

 

[TheProspect]

Yeah, come on men, suppress those emotions. Don't show how you really feel, don't be weak. Be a machine, appear as if you're dead inside and have lost all trace of humanity.

See a guy crying? Ignore the sh!t out of him, walk away from that pathetic loser.

(Sarcasm)

Yep. I don't understand why suppressing emotions is equated to being strong. It's not. However, in my opinion, not letting those emotions dictate how you treat others is strong. Crying doesn't make you weak. Although there's a huge difference between briefly feeling strongly upset about something and being a perennial crybaby, but in either case showcasing tears doesn't indicate weakness necessarily, it just shows you're physically reacting to an intense internal emotion the same way you react to anger by raising your voice and hosting vindictive thoughts.

If one wants to make the argument that men showing emotion is weak, then they would also have to agree that exhibiting anger is weak as well due to the fact that all anger is just a mask for some underlying emotion based on pain and/or fear, or any similar variation of the two (frustration, inconvenienced, sadness, depression, stress, worry, challenged ego, offended)..

By this premise, if someone cuts you off in traffic. You're inconvenienced. You react with anger. Weak.

A friend talks sh!t behind your back, then lies to your face about it. You feel betrayed and hurt. You react with anger. Weak.

A woman disrespects you. You're offended and your ego is threatened. You react react with anger. Weak.

You let an emotion (anger) control you and influence your behaviour? WEAK.


Not really a sound argument is it? You don't get to pick and choose which emotions are weak and which are not because of how you were conditioned growing up. Men and women BOTH feel the same emotions.

Everyone deals with intense emotions differently. As long as we don't linger in that negative state, there's nothing wrong with experiencing that emotion and getting it out of our system. Unless you're some veteran Buddhist Monk, you're going to be influenced by emotions. We all respond to these emotions uniquely, and each of us to different extents. What bugs you might not bug me, and vice-versa... And you don't get through emotions by bottling them up and pretending they're not there because you grew up learning that it isn't "tough".

 

[Roober]

Yep. I don't understand why suppressing emotions is equated to being strong. It's not. However, in my opinion, not letting those emotions dictate how you treat others is strong. Crying doesn't make you weak. Although there's a huge difference between briefly feeling strongly upset about something and being a perennial crybaby, but in either case showcasing tears doesn't indicate weakness necessarily, it just shows you're physically reacting to an intense internal emotion the same way you react to anger by raising your voice and hosting vindictive thoughts.

If one wants to make the argument that men showing emotion is weak, then they would also have to agree that exhibiting anger is weak as well due to the fact that all anger is just a mask for some underlying emotion based on pain and/or fear, or any similar variation of the two (frustration, inconvenienced, sadness, depression, stress, worry, challenged ego, offended)..

By this premise, if someone cuts you off in traffic. You're inconvenienced. You react with anger. Weak.

A friend talks sh!t behind your back, then lies to your face about it. You feel betrayed and hurt. You react with anger. Weak.

A woman disrespects you. You're offended and your ego is threatened. You react react with anger. Weak.

You let an emotion (anger) control you and influence your behaviour? WEAK.


Not really a sound argument is it? You don't get to pick and choose which emotions are weak and which are not because of how you were conditioned growing up. Men and women BOTH feel the same emotions.

Everyone deals with intense emotions differently. As long as we don't linger in that negative state, there's nothing wrong with experiencing that emotion and getting it out of our system. Unless you're some veteran Buddhist Monk, you're going to be influenced by emotions. We all respond to these emotions uniquely, and each of us to different extents. What bugs you might not bug me, and vice-versa... And you don't get through emotions by bottling them up and pretending they're not there because you grew up learning that it isn't "tough".

Not sure I agree.

Get cut off all the time.. meh, who cares
A friend talks ****... next them like a woman.. meh, who cares
A woman disrespects you.. next.. meh, who cares
You let emotions control your behavior? that IS weak. Emotional state is a woman's place

Exhibiting emotion is pretty weak for the most part. Giving into emotion, especially over the examples you outlined above, is giving those individuals power over you. Showing emotions for meaningless crap is weak. Showing emotions for life (death, divorce, sick children, etc.) is not.

NOBODY should have the power over you to affect your emotions

 

[TheProspect]

Not sure I agree.

Get cut off all the time.. meh, who cares
A friend talks ****... next them like a woman.. meh, who cares
A woman disrespects you.. next.. meh, who cares
You let emotions control your behavior? that IS weak. Emotional state is a woman's place

Exhibiting emotion is pretty weak for the most part. Giving into emotion, especially over the examples you outlined above, is giving those individuals power over you. Showing emotions for meaningless crap is weak. Showing emotions for life (death, divorce, sick children, etc.) is not.

NOBODY should have the power over you to affect your emotions

I hear what you're saying. Except when you say when it's appropriate to show emotions, I disagree, simply because you can't choose what emotions you experience you can only attempt to alter them after the fact. Even death. People close to me have died and I have really felt much. The only person who I KNOW would effect me deeply emotionally is when my father dies. I can't choose what I feel.

Those couple examples I showed I would react the same way, by having little to no reaction. They were just examples that a lot of people get emotionally triggered by which I why I used them.

I literally never get offended, and I very rarely get stressed or upset, and if I do, it doesn't last more than 15 minutes or so due to years of practicing mindfulness.

 

[TheProspect]

Not sure I agree.

Get cut off all the time.. meh, who cares
A friend talks ****... next them like a woman.. meh, who cares
A woman disrespects you.. next.. meh, who cares
You let emotions control your behavior? that IS weak. Emotional state is a woman's place

Exhibiting emotion is pretty weak for the most part. Giving into emotion, especially over the examples you outlined above, is giving those individuals power over you. Showing emotions for meaningless crap is weak. Showing emotions for life (death, divorce, sick children, etc.) is not.

NOBODY should have the power over you to affect your emotions

I would agree any emotion could be considered "weak" if you give into it, if that's what you want to call it.

I don't mind when people call it "weak". I would personally call it a lack of emotional intelligence and self-regulation. I just find it equivalent of calling someone "stupid" for being unable to anything higher than high school level math. Just because someone's compatibilities don't match the expectations of others doesn't mean they're inferior.

But this also boils down to what your definition of weak is. If you're using the term in a condescending way, I disagree with its usage regarding emotions. If you're using it to suggest someone is deficient in certain qualities (emotional IQ and self-regulation), I would agree. However, I think OP is using the former definition, hence my first post.

 

[playa99]

The Dude clearly has no self control and is vomiting his emotions everywhere. It's gross!

You can't choose the way you feel, but you can choose the way you act in order to get the results you want.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Yeah, come on men, suppress those emotions. Don't show how you really feel, don't be weak. Be a machine, appear as if you're dead inside and have lost all trace of humanity.

See a guy crying? Ignore the sh!t out of him, walk away from that pathetic loser.

(Sarcasm)

Well, a lot of it depends why he was crying.

Was he crying because his wife miscarried their 8 month old baby, or because she stopped having sex with him/brought up that she wants to "see other people"?

In 95% of cases, unless there is a catastrophic event of some sort, it is inappropriate for a man to cry at work. There is a time and a place, like alone in your room or over a beer with one of your homies. But this story reeks of some pretty lame crap.

 

[Roober]

I would agree any emotion could be considered "weak" if you give into it, if that's what you want to call it.

I don't mind when people call it "weak". I would personally call it a lack of emotional intelligence and self-regulation. I just find it equivalent of calling someone "stupid" for being unable to anything higher than high school level math. Just because someone's compatibilities don't match the expectations of others doesn't mean they're inferior.

But this also boils down to what your definition of weak is. If you're using the term in a condescending way, I disagree with its usage regarding emotions. If you're using it to suggest someone is deficient in certain qualities (emotional IQ and self-regulation), I would agree. However, I think OP is using the former definition, hence my first post.

The underlined is exactly what I am referring to. They are certainly qualities that are attainable (for some), but then it really comes down to surival of the fittest. One could argue that those with a weaker mind are inferior. For the sake of no argument, I will say that they just have room for improvement...

This guys behavior just sounds like he is looking for some attention. Based on the context, I would think it is not a major issue. Regardless, it is not something you should be doing at work... When I was a mess from getting dumped, nobody knew but my mom and some of my close friends

 

[Mike32ct]

He should have gone to men's room to compose himself and then gone back to work.

 

[zekko]

Like my good friend Mr. Spock says, it's okay to have emotions, but you shouldn't let them control you.

Oddly enough, when I was younger I remember getting some dates out of whining about ex girlfriends. I guess if you can stir up some sort of emotion in a girl, it can be effective.

Generally though, women want you to be a rock of strength that can withstand the storms of emotion that they are buffeted by.

 

[TheGambino]

You can have emotion, that's life but indeed don't let them control you whatsoever. If you take good care of yourself, have a descent job, descent amount of not taking life too serious but have very clear goals and principles and respect yourself your already halfway there. Be the best man you can be, work out, look strong and be interested in a girl in front of you. Be kind and respectful to others around you and know when to escalate, make her comfortable, kino, whisper in her ears and make out like a champ. If you be a bit romantic and passionate about life it can't hurt to be emotional towards her even if it's about romance. I can talk out of experience.

One big thing about being needy.

What will f8ck up everything though is:

Multiple texting
Being mad when she doesnt replie
Call her all day and whine if she doesnt pick up
Just be patient and calm all time, thats the frame we are all looking for.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

Nothing gets a girls panties wet like a man who can have a good solid cry!

We apparently need more safe spaces for these emotionally transgendered men.

Exhibiting emotions is the window to your truth. Guard them surreptitiously. Leave them unguarded, and you are susceptible to manipulation.

 

[Serenity]

Nothing gets a girls panties wet like a man who can have a good solid cry!

We apparently need more safe spaces for these emotionally transgendered men.

It's pretty fvcked up to think men cry to make girls wet, especially considering the social expectation that men who cry are weak. Crying relieves stress, that's the function of it. How well [insert action] attracts women isn't the only criterion that matters, in many cases it's irrelevant.

Obviously there won't be safe spaces with so many men lacking basic empathy. Many will continue to suppress their feelings in fear of such men, I will express whatever the fvck I'm feeling even if some loser thinks I'm weak.

Given the social pressure on men's emotions, it takes some fvcking balls to cry publicly. A lot more balls than bottling it up and crying when alone, or worse not letting it out at all. It is basically fear that prevents a man from shedding tears in front of others when he feels like crying. Fear of losing social standing, which ironically is fuelled by his own views and not necessarily everyone else's. So as far as I can see it's the man who avoids crying in front of others at all costs who is weak.

 

[TheProspect]

1. I would wager men who cry in public like that, or who routinely cry, are quite weak.
2. Lifting weights also relieves stress. It is also more productive and masculine than crying.
3. I am sure losers cry far more than winners.
4. Sounds like you are prepping for a good cry yourself. Enjoy.

You gave no evidence to support your point of view... just empty assumptions and an unprovoked personal attack.

Your argument is that men who cry are weak. How about defend it instead of just throwing it out there, then Grewd and I could respectfully contend your perspective with our own. I don't get why people seem so uninterested in having a discussion that challenges their opinions. It would be more "productive" to explain your point-of-view by making an argument that actually contains some substance based on rationale, not an empty opinion.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

Given the social pressure on men's emotions, it takes some fvcking balls to cry publicly.

Whaaaaaaaat?

I couldn't disagree with your statement more. If I see a man crying in public, in order to determine whether he deserves my sympathy there are essentially two questions.

1. Did somebody (a relative, friend, or pet) die?
2. Did somebody get seriously injured or diagnosed with a debilitating disease?

If the answer is yes, I'm there for a brother. I've been there. If it's no, the man shouldn't be crying in public. You want to cry in your room about loneliness, an aloof girl or your finances? Go for it because you're right, it has some biological and cathartic benefits. But unless you're willing to throw all social norms out the window, you have to admit there is simply a stigma about men crying in public. Even the HR feminazi who invites him into her office to talk about it and gives him tissues, is utterly repulsed at her deepest biological core. Same for the women in the break room consoling him. They're cheerleading him while deep down they are glad he's not her husband or son.

Slightly off the topic, but you know what takes balls in public? Silence. Being a listener in a society that talks. Being the guy in the meeting at work where people are constantly asking you "what's wrong, BlueAlpha? You're also so quiet/stoic." A quiet confidence (which resembles the opposite of the sort of faked confidence showed by a lot of posters here) intimidates people. They don't know how to deal with it, so they ask why you aren't talking or participating. But in reality it comes from a place of not having to constantly be vying for everyone's approval.

Imagine you are called into a meeting at work. There are 14 people on your "team" in your office. You've all been laid off and there are 2 managers to deliver the bad news. All 7 women cry, 3 men cry, 3 men get really angry and start shouting at the bosses, and you, the stoic, calmly get up, tip your cap and leave the building on your own accord. Which person do you think management is propping up as having balls of steel at their debrief later?

 

[old_skoolr]

It doesn't matter if his a wuss or not, empathy is a nice thing to have. You may not agree of the action but certainly understand the reason behind it may make you a more decent person OP.