"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Canceled Date - Reschedule?

findus

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Hey guys,

I recently meet this really good-looking girl at a bar. My friend was interested in her girlfriend so it was a perfect two set. Anyways, I started to talk to her and she seemed really interesting. My friend and I suggested that both of them should tag along to a different bar, but they said that they had to wait for a friend. Instead she gave me her number and told me to text her later so we could meet up. Later that night I texted her and she showed up with her friends. We talked for quite a bit about everything, and came into the subject favorite restaurants. I told her that I'm a big meat guy and about my favorite restaurant. She then told me about her favorite steak restaurant (which I've never been to) and so I said that I needed to check it out sometime. It got late so I decided to go leave. When I got home she texted me saying: Did you get home safe? Me: Yes, did you leave yet? She: Yes. Me: Alright good, have a nice 20min something drive.. btw my bed is really comfy right now. She goes: Haha don't rub it in!! Me: I'm sorry/I'm not sorry.
After that I waited a day to text her and then just asked what she was doing and the name of her favorite steak restaurant. I then said that I have to go there, and that she should join me. She replied and said: Yes, sure I'm free any night during the week. My schedule is pretty busy so I suggested wednesday and she told me that was fine. The next day I was thinking not to text her (just to look a little absent, and not like a creeper); however, she texted me late at night saying: Hey I actually have a test on thursday morning we'll have to reschedule - sorry. I replied: Hey, yeah that's fine. I'm pretty busy during the week, but I might be able to go thursday if that works (prob a terrible answer). She: It's my last week of school so maybe next week? Me: Yeah alright we will figure something out.. Good luck on your last week

So my question is - Did I just get stood out, or do you think she is interested?? I don't really know how to play my cards from here. I've only meet her once and I feel like I need that date so we will have more to talk about. When should I text her, and should I reschedule?

Thanks!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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zinc4

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well...if i were u i would just let her come to me and of course keep meeting new women....if she never contacts you..oh well...she had her chance..she will contact you if her IL is good...you did your part now just let itself play itself out and drop her from your mind and focus on other chicks...besides she is just a random girl at a bar...no big deal...
 
B

BeDJ

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Toss the number.

Next week = I feel guilty for giving him my number and rejecting a nice free dinner. I'll buy some time to blow him off and just tell him I have to visit family or something. Hopefully, he'll forget about me in a week because I can't say NO to people...
 

TheException

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well...if i were u i would just let her come to me and of course keep meeting new women....if she never contacts you..oh well

This^

Toss the number.

Not this^ theres no reason to toss the number as long as your not a needy beta blowing up her phone.

Me: Alright good, have a nice 20min something drive.. btw my bed is really comfy right now.

Pretty good text...BESIDES that atrocious bit about your bed lol. Dont hope for last ditch desperation attempts at sex.

After that I waited a day to text her and then just asked what she was doing

Time frame is cool, your text was not. Dont chit chat, you should have sent a short text about something funny when you guys were out at the bar. And i dont like to schedule a date the first time i text a girl. I think sometimes its too try-hard, by waiting a little you convey non-neediness and options.

I dont think your situation is that bad, maybe she really does have a test or maybe a girlfriend hit her up to hang out. Just dont text her first and if she contacts you its still game on.
 

findus

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TheException said:
Me: Alright good, have a nice 20min something drive.. btw my bed is really comfy right now.

Pretty good text...BESIDES that atrocious bit about your bed lol. Dont hope for last ditch desperation attempts at sex.
Man I agree, but that part was just because she told me at the bar that she couldn't wait to put on her pajamas and crawl to bed. Very good input. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.. What about if I see her out during the weekend again?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BeDJ

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TheException said:
Toss the number.

Not this^ theres no reason to toss the number as long as your not a needy beta blowing up her phone.
This is the result of the inability to generate and secure options. Scarcity mindset at play.

1) She shows up with friends.
2) She said she was free any night during the week.
3) Flakes after date confirmation.
4) Unless it is a pop quiz, if she has an exam, she knows about it well in advance.
5) 'Maybe next week'

This woman has low interest at best and advising to pursue is like convincing an orbiter he has a chance.

Drop her.
 
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