"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Can you hang out with a girl too much when you are building comfort?

Canadian Catnip

Senior Don Juan
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I have a friend that met a girl who works at a coffee shop. He seems to have hit it off with her and he goes in there about 3 or 4 times a week in order to chat with her.

She doesn't seem to mind his company and he likes chatting with her. I told him that he is interrupting her while she is working and he is being a little too clingy and AFC. He seems to think they are building rapport.

So is there a point in comfort building when hanging out with a girl almost every day is no longer seen by her as clingy?

I see other guys do this all the time. Visit girls they know who are working at coffee shops, juice bars, book stores etc.

So is this OK or should you always give her the gift of missing you?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Dark Chivalry

Don Juan
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If he does not ask her out on dates, he'll easily end up in the friend/customer zone.

He can go there when he feels like drinking a coffee, but getting to know her is better done on dates when he has her undivided attention. Plus, you can't really kiss her at work.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Canadian Catnip said:
....So is there a point in comfort building when hanging out with a girl almost every day is no longer seen by her as clingy?...
Clingy is never good. What makes it worse is when you're not dating. Get a life, have some friends, get a hobby; don't make her existence the purpose of yours. Make the time that you do spend together special.
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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I'd visit her 3-5 times TOTAL before getting her # (or just inviting her somewhere specific). Less, if it's not a place you like to go to often.
 
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