"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Can you hang out with a girl too much when you are building comfort?

Canadian Catnip

Senior Don Juan
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I have a friend that met a girl who works at a coffee shop. He seems to have hit it off with her and he goes in there about 3 or 4 times a week in order to chat with her.

She doesn't seem to mind his company and he likes chatting with her. I told him that he is interrupting her while she is working and he is being a little too clingy and AFC. He seems to think they are building rapport.

So is there a point in comfort building when hanging out with a girl almost every day is no longer seen by her as clingy?

I see other guys do this all the time. Visit girls they know who are working at coffee shops, juice bars, book stores etc.

So is this OK or should you always give her the gift of missing you?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dark Chivalry

Don Juan
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If he does not ask her out on dates, he'll easily end up in the friend/customer zone.

He can go there when he feels like drinking a coffee, but getting to know her is better done on dates when he has her undivided attention. Plus, you can't really kiss her at work.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Canadian Catnip said:
....So is there a point in comfort building when hanging out with a girl almost every day is no longer seen by her as clingy?...
Clingy is never good. What makes it worse is when you're not dating. Get a life, have some friends, get a hobby; don't make her existence the purpose of yours. Make the time that you do spend together special.
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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I'd visit her 3-5 times TOTAL before getting her # (or just inviting her somewhere specific). Less, if it's not a place you like to go to often.
 
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