"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Can you gain confidence by just saying '**** it'
- Thread starter alx
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Serenity
Moderator
Confidence is somewhere in between arrogance and humility. Thinking you're great at everything and ignoring everyone else is arrogant. Thinking you svck at everything and believing everyone else is too humble, naive actually. Confidence is knowing when to be arrogant and when to be humble. Knowing what you know and what you don't know. Knowing when to teach and when to learn.
I always try to understand and consider what people tell me, but after consideration I don't always agree. I weigh their view against my own to see which one fit reality the best. I use scientific principles to determine which one is more accurate. I'm not always right and I'm not always wrong. Confidence isn't black and white.