Can you cancel out neediness by flaking on HER?

[tomato]

Can you cancel out neediness by flaking on HER?

I was a little over eager to invite a girl over to cook for me same day or next day after the date - can I heal the damage done by cancelling now? As in cant I just text her "I decided its better you don't come over again so soon"

 

[SamTheHobit]

I'm not sure wanting to see a girl is conidered needy.. But texting her every 5 mins is.

 

[Jariel]

It can work, but there are no guarantees. I did try this pre-emptive rejection on a girl before and it worked like magic, but then other times I've tried it I ended up getting nowhere. Once you start getting into these mind games, it's a downward spiral.

The question I have to ask is why do you feel you need to flake if she agreed to come round? If she's up for it, then go with it and enjoy your time. Just play it a bit cooler in future.

 

[AlexDP]

Can you cancel out neediness by flaking on HER?

I was a little over eager to invite a girl over to cook for me same day or next day after the date - can I heal the damage done by cancelling now? As in cant I just text her "I decided its better you don't come over again so soon"

Texting her that would be so much worse.

1. It shows you constantly analyze things.
2.You "decided" that just now? What after some long and intense thinking you had about it? Freaking psycho.
3. The way you say it makes it sound very heavy. Which means you're no fun. No, instead of having fun, you have to break the flow for whatever reason pops up in your little psycho head.

Honestly, if anything I'd advise you work on yourself and set this girl free. You are not at all capable of dating right now.

 

[tomato]

It can work, but there are no guarantees. I did try this pre-emptive rejection on a girl before and it worked like magic, but then other times I've tried it I ended up getting nowhere. Once you start getting into these mind games, it's a downward spiral.

The question I have to ask is why do you feel you need to flake if she agreed to come round? If she's up for it, then go with it and enjoy your time. Just play it a bit cooler in future.

Such clear insight I want to rep every post you write! Thank you. This is what we are all here for - anothers perpective

 

[synergy1]

if we hate women who play games, why bother stooping to the same level to 'artificially raise value'. We are better than this. If you set something up, follow through and own your responsibility. Being a women isn't the answer.

 

[Aaron B]

for a person who is aware of their own neediness as an obstacle:

neediness results from allowing your emotions to override your logic

or more correctly, taking action detrimental to your goals because of neediness is caused by allowing your emotions to override your logic

we like to say men are logical and women are emotional. its not entirely true - we have emotions as well. you either control them, or they control you

 

[PapiChulo]

for a person who is aware of their own neediness as an obstacle:

neediness results from allowing your emotions to override your logic

or more correctly, taking action detrimental to your goals because of neediness is caused by allowing your emotions to override your logic

we like to say men are logical and women are emotional. its not entirely true - we have emotions as well. you either control them, or they control you

Yeah that's very good. Next time you are eager to see her ask yourself why you wanna see her at the first place.Sometimes it is addiction to being around a certain person because of the dopamine surge or whatever chemicals make you tick. Be aware of that too. It's only great when the other person is into you at about the same level, even than caution is needed.

 

[bigneil]

if we hate women who play games, why bother stooping to the same level to 'artificially raise value'. We are better than this. If you set something up, follow through and own your responsibility. Being a women isn't the answer.

Girl-ila Warfare.

 

[shizz702]

It can be used effectively at times. A good way to test interest level too. If she wants to see you again after flaking then you know you got her.