"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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can yall beat my record?

joecollapoppa

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Ok this is what i did. I went without masturbation for a week. then i masturbated for 3 1/2 hours with the motherload of porn hard the whole time. Can yall beat that? have yall beat that? if yall do this, you will feel like the man no doubt and be able to mack any girl cuz theres so much pleasure.:D
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Laney

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I cant say i'd want to! I mean..... how the hell do you avoid one little snag....?


BLISTERS!!!! :p :p ;) :D :D :D




Hehehe, my first post! Oh..... And just do you dont feel bad, i signed up especially to reply to this!:D
 

ryanvalmont

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Originally posted by joecollapoppa
Ok this is what i did. I went without masturbation for a week. then i masturbated for 3 1/2 hours with the motherload of porn hard the whole time. Can yall beat that? have yall beat that? if yall do this, you will feel like the man no doubt and be able to mack any girl cuz theres so much pleasure.:D
WHy would anyone want to???!...get a girl it's better!
 

comic_relief

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Congradulations,

Most pointless thread of the day award goes to you!!!
 

Seeph

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Sorry but when your goal is to not masturbate for a week so it can feel better when you finally do with a ****load of porn it is sad. It's just trying to make yourself feel better for not trying to get out and get girls. Instead you just settle for Palmala Handerson. Get a life.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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undesputable

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who cares
and then you would not even last 3 1/2 minutes with a girl....you can last all day touching yourself and i could care less....

lets see if you can hammer away with a banging hot chick for 3 1/2 hours....
 

karusel

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Re: Congradulations,

Originally posted by baseballDJ
Most pointless thread of the day award goes to you!!!
 
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