R
Ranger
Guest
Nice. Bingo
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Can women be in relationship with no drama?
- Thread starter flowtheory
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Roober
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2016
- Messages
- 2,372
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- 2,120
David Deida said it best...
STOP HOPING FOR YOUR WOMAN TO GET EASIER
A woman often seems to test her mans capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trust able. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his womans test will end and life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.
Regardless if the relationship is good or not, a woman will always challenge a man to varying degrees. A poorly educated woman will throw tests that question her morality, whereas a good woman will do just what Deida described above. It is more like a gnat on a hot summer's night, or the hardened chocolate someone left on the dirty silverware.
Is it annoying? Certainly.
Is is a big deal? Certainly not.
Learn to navigate her moods and she will fall into a trust which no man could ever match. I would say that the lady and I have a fantastic relationship, and we still get into it about once a week. The simplest way to handle these moments is to ignore, tease, listen, or turn into a joke. There is no single response that works for every situation, bit you must learn how to respond appropriately.
GOOGLE: "David Deida women dont get easier" for the full chapter
STOP HOPING FOR YOUR WOMAN TO GET EASIER
A woman often seems to test her mans capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trust able. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his womans test will end and life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.
Regardless if the relationship is good or not, a woman will always challenge a man to varying degrees. A poorly educated woman will throw tests that question her morality, whereas a good woman will do just what Deida described above. It is more like a gnat on a hot summer's night, or the hardened chocolate someone left on the dirty silverware.
Is it annoying? Certainly.
Is is a big deal? Certainly not.
Learn to navigate her moods and she will fall into a trust which no man could ever match. I would say that the lady and I have a fantastic relationship, and we still get into it about once a week. The simplest way to handle these moments is to ignore, tease, listen, or turn into a joke. There is no single response that works for every situation, bit you must learn how to respond appropriately.
GOOGLE: "David Deida women dont get easier" for the full chapter
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Set up to happen long before? Can you extrapolate on this.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
I should check that book out again. But yes, not to take it all too seriously, and always take it back to having fun. They are simply testing ‘our metal’
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Jeez. That cider sure scolded you and made you fly in to full on baby butt hurt mode, huh?
Aren’t you the guy who got banned a bunch of times and keeps coming back to the site because he has nothing better to do in life?
I may not be the most alpha or red pill guy, but at least I’m wanted in society and by people in the real world.
Oh and my 330lb McDonald cashier girlfriend gives the best blowj0bs though! She just gets a little cranky when her blood sugar drops is all.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Roober
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2016
- Messages
- 2,372
- Reaction score
- 2,120
Indeed!
Other than being a Shiva, the only aspect of her tests you should explore is whether or not she employs a good value system. For example, when a woman talks about an ex, especially one she may have shared a good portion of her life with, that is excusable. However, if she keeps in contact regularly, that likely raises questions her values regarding relationships.
Here are the facts:
1. you're banging 1/10's. The difference between a 1 and a 5 is a couple of beers. This means your self esteem is rock bottom.
2. you are clearly bipolar and have other mental health issues. You're about as emotionally stable as Jeffrey Dahmer.
Your case is severe enough, like ArmenianDave's, that an internet forum won't be enough to help you to any noticeable degree. If anything, it will be a time sink where you whine over and over again just like ArmenianDave, wasting everyone's time and getting nowhere.
You are in a bad rut and refuse to acknowledge that your own immaturity and extreme instability are at the root of the problem.
R
Ranger
Guest
Sure. I will try. Just like everything else in life, we set precedents. Just the patterns we have will set precedents.
Off and on during the “relationship”, little things are set up as “tests”. How you performed during the tests sets the precendents.
Ever notice how a woman will spring drama at exactly the wrong time? Perfect timing. It’s uncanny. You react. Sometimes just frustration.
This is no accident. She can sense your state and presence. She’s going to put you under duress.
So what ever gave her the idea that it was ok? You did in your moments of weakness and stress.
Tomassi talked about how we can never rest. Ever. That is not how this world works.
But if you think about it, this is a first world problem. A modern problem. At one time she didn’t have time to create drama ON YOU.
They squabbled amongst other women.
You were in a constant mode of survival. Hunting, fishing, making tools, repairing things. Being able to move the whole camp the second the game became too wary to hunt because you have hunting too long in that location.
She had so much work to do that she didn’t have time to fuk with you. In fact when she did start crap you scowled at her and walked away.
Look at the feminine imperative for what it is. Look at those fat a$$es. Who told them they had the right to make a hard working man’s life a cesspool of drama.
It’s all manipulation. Lol. You caused it early on in your “relationship”
SpanishFly
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2018
- Messages
- 17
- Reaction score
- 25
- Age
- 59
Some women create drama by default, no matter how you treat them or however you behave. Others don't. It's that simple. You can try to control a crazy one or you can just be patient until you filter out a rational one. This might sound rather simplistic, but the core problem isn't so complex.
Vaginalflowtheory is just that. He's behaving just like a woman PMSing. The difference is, a woman gets into this state once a month; VFT is emotionally unstable all of the time.
STOP BLAMING WOMEN. The real problems are:
1. you have low SMV and can only attract 1-5 caliber women.
2. you have rock bottom self control. This is female behavior: constantly whiny, anxious and unstable.
As a result, these women are driving you insane just like Chinese water torture: one drip at a time. And you don't have the SMV to attract any worthwhile women who are willing to treat you better.
STOP BLAMING WOMEN. The real problems are:
1. you have low SMV and can only attract 1-5 caliber women.
2. you have rock bottom self control. This is female behavior: constantly whiny, anxious and unstable.
As a result, these women are driving you insane just like Chinese water torture: one drip at a time. And you don't have the SMV to attract any worthwhile women who are willing to treat you better.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Floydispink01
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2015
- Messages
- 218
- Reaction score
- 210
Use it as an opportunity to display your Strong frame. Maintaining a cool and composed attitude whilst displaying humour when a girl pulls drama is an attractive trait.