"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Can someone translate this for me?
- Thread starter PS79
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Kevin Feng
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2008
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Mystery and Matador talk a lot about IOI's, stuff of that nature in their book, but in reality, you just NEED TO APPROACH.
You're overanalyzing it, fact is this, different women have different behavior. Some girls are more overt than others, etc etc.
That really isn't a reason not to approach. Approach a girl because you find her attractive, you don't a reason other than that. Excercise the alpha male inside you and take authority.
If you watch Mystery and Matador game, they never look for IOI's, they just go for the kill.
-Kevin
Igetit!
Moderator
There doesn't really seem too much here to go on. You need to put this into a better context for us to get a better view of what's really going on.PS79 said:Girl does everything to get your attention. Eye contact, close proximity, etc. and you start to notice it but now she's doing things to avoid you.
Explain this to me.
You say this girl has been doing everything she can to get your attention. Ok,how long has she been doing this? Also,is all the communication between you two these little signs,hints,and signals,or have you two actually spoken to each other? And if so,what was the conversation like?
Another thing:when did she start doing things to avoid you? Had she been trying and trying to get your attention,then you finally responded in some way,THEN she started to avoid you? If that's the case,then how was it that you responded to her?
I know this may seem to be a lot of questions to answer,but it's necessary to get an accurate picture of what's going on with this girl.
Single, yes, but miserable? No, no, no!PS79 said:Yep, that's why they're both single and miserable
Single doesn't mean miserable. That's an AFC mindset, that you have to have a steady girlfriend to be happy. I prefer to be single, and date multiple women. I'm happy, far happier than all the men out there in exclusive relationships who aren't getting what they want.
Kevin is 100% right when he says to approach regardless of indicators of interest.
My guess is that you procrastinated too much, and the window of opportunity has closed, as she has lost interest. Either way, approach her.
We really need to know what kind of situation you were in when this happened, where you were and if you know each other, how old, etc.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.