"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Can someone know you farted just from eyesight?

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
Reaction score
14
Location
At home
Picture this:

You are in a semi-crowded place. Or maybe in a line in an open space. If someone farts, without it sounding, the smell will disseminate very quickly, and that's if the fart smells. But my question is:

Can someone standing behind you know that you farted? Maybe your jeans, pants or shorts inflate for a second and you can catch it. Can you? I'm thinking someone can spot this, because, if I blow air into my shirt, it expands, imagine somewhere where air isn't blowing, suddenly has a violent spurt of air/gas out of it?

Maybe someone with mirrors and lots of time should try this. Or maybe, when you're about to fart and are in a vicinity of a mirror, take a look at your ass and see if you can spot the fart!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

piranha45

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
973
Reaction score
38
yeah most of the time when i fart, my pants completely split apart at the rear. And even if that doesn't happen, this foul brown gas still streams out of the legs and fills the room in a matter of seconds.
 

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
336
Reaction score
5
SamePendo said:
Maybe someone with mirrors and lots of time should try this. Or maybe, when you're about to fart and are in a vicinity of a mirror, take a look at your ass and see if you can spot the fart!
piranha45 said:
yeah most of the time when i fart, my pants completely split apart at the rear.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: You guys are hilarious!

I'm not sure it'd be noticable... unless your eyes were GLUED to someone's rear end.

Technically speaking, I wonder A.) If 'farts' are thinner than 'air', and thus dissipate through fabric much quicker than air... B.) Would the volume of said 'fart' released be enough to cause notable inflation? My guess is no.
 

pLaYtHiNg

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
336
Reaction score
5
We should call MythBusters! LOL

Seriously, just let 'er rip... every person does it, and if they can't handle normal bodily functions... well then, I'd be tempted to think they seriously don't matter to me.
:crackup:
 

TheBucketOfTruth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
554
Reaction score
7
Location
Portland, OR
Unless you're wearing a very thin fabric skirt/dress, I wouldn't worry about it. Your body language will tell more of a tale if anything.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

WhitePimp

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
802
Reaction score
19
Location
New jersey
Start talking during a fart...everyone always assumes it's the quiet person who's farting but if you're yapping away you easily avoid suspicion.
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
No. But I can tell when someone is trolling just from eyesight.
 

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
Reaction score
14
Location
At home
Alle_Gory said:
No. But I can tell when someone is trolling just from eyesight.
Look for threads made by me other than Anything Else.



How light should the fabric be? I suspect of my formal wear, or pants. Maybe if some part of it was "stuck" to my butt because of sweat, folding, or whatever reason . . . and suddenly comes the high-speed-fart! I tend to think that it does show up in a obvious way!
I used to worry about the smell of them, I can somehow notice if they smell or if they will sound. And if you are in an open space, walking, or whatever, it is nearly impossible to spot it was you, if it is is possible at all. As for the expression, unless you don"t have control over yourself and have some kind of mental handicap, I highly doubt that a grown man will expose through his expression that he just farted!

Pending more solid information on this from the board, I am farting towards a place that no one is seeing my butt.
 

Paradox

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2001
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
25
Location
USA
Alle_Gory said:
No. But I can tell when someone is trolling just from eyesight.

LOL, It's just a joke.
 

jafyk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
1,010
Reaction score
26
Location
San Diego, California
How about if you feel a fart you step out and do ur thing. Instead of being disgusting.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Aragon034

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
573
Reaction score
15
Location
T-dot
I recall one ****ed up conversation with my sociology professor about farting. Hell the entire class was involved. As it turns out, Fart is like the oldest word imaginable and there are rules and whatnot for it.
  • He who observed it served it.
  • He who first detected it ejected it.
  • He who said the rhyme did the crime.
  • Whoever blamed it flamed it.
  • Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
  • Whoever rhymed it grimed it.
  • Whoever denied it supplied it.
  • He who smelt it dealt it.
  • The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart#cite_note-16
  • He who articulated it, particulated it!
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

SamePendo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
2,393
Reaction score
14
Location
At home
So, can someone tell? I want to be able to fart freely and not worry about someone seeing me fart!
 
Top