"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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can she be interested?

CrazyGoNuts

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This is my first time posting here, but I have checked out the site on numerous occasions and found the info here to be quite helpful. This is probably gonna be a long post, and for that, I apologize.

I guess a little advice from people who have "been there, done that" would be appreciated. I've been single for a year and a half now and once it was over I decided to go anti-relationship for a long time and start treatin girls like crap cuz thats the "cool" thing to do according to most of my friends. Now I feel like I have wasted more then a year of my life by doin things that way and I find myself being depressed and longing for someone to come into my life and show me that there are some really amazing girls out there. And well, whaddya know, a week ago it happened. I decided to go out and hang out with my buddy, his girl, and her friend who lived nearby. I walked into the room and as soon as my eyes caught hers I found myself in awe. She is definately the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life.

We hit it off amazingly, we spent the next hour and a half just talkin about anything and everything. By the end of the night the four of us had already made plans to meet up the next night. Surprisingly as soon as we left I was already being bombared by questions from her friend; "are you single?" "are you lookin for anyone right now?" "do you think shes cute?" Im sure we've all dealt with this kind of thing before. Here we are the next night gettin ready to go out when my friend decides to tell me that his girl was thinkin of hookin her friend up with another friend of ours, one that she didnt even like to begin with.

Something happened when he said that to me, I felt sorta pissed that in the span of 12 hours my chances went from good to nil. I said "screw it, im not even gonna talk to her than. Why go through all of that just to get hurt?" So the five of us go out to a bar and I spend the entire night just sittin there, subconsciously convincing myself that she doesnt want to talk to me, she'd rather have him than me. Needless to say I look like an ass for what I did because it turns out she was at least slightly interested. She spent a long time talkin to my friend, apparently it was all about me. She asked both my boys why i wasnt talkin to her on more than one occasion, she even asked my friends girl the same thing the morning after.

It seems obvious to me now that she wanted to talk to me, but perhaps now things are different. I did ask her friend for her number but she said she wasnt allowed to give it out until she speaks to her. Sounds pretty bad to me. If she knew her friend wanted to talk to me and I wanted the number wouldnt she have just given it to me? I see something in her that I have never seen in any other girl before, I want to get to know her more than anything and I want her to want to get to know me. I just hope its not too late.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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blienk

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You might still have a chance. Ask her out one-on-one so neither of your idiot friends get involved.

If you learn one thing from this, let it be that you should never, EVER listen to what other people tell you about a girl. If her friend swears she's interested but you're getting nothing, then she's NOT INTERESTED. Likewise, if you hear she's not interested, or thinking about some other dude, but yet she still seems interested in you, THEN KEEP TRYING. There was no reason for you to give up like that. Let a girl show you she's not interested, fcuk her friends.
 

CrazyGoNuts

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yeah that seems to be the best advice at this point. I feel like if I could just get her number I can ask her out and make it up to her and go out by ourselves. I am confindent that it will happen but even then there will always be something in my head that causes me to think the wrong things.

I know that alot of people on here say that you can see a beautiful girl with an average lookin guy all the time, but I would still feel like this girl could be doin somethin with someone in her league rather than with me. I guess only will tell what will happen with this.
 

GaryNas

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I had a "similar" situation once. I went to my friends house and his new girlfriend was there. I knew her and her friend (who was working this evening) from a club two weeks before. Anyway the girlfriend took a liking to me and we talked about her friend. Next day the girlfriend and her friend were going to go somewhere with a bunch of their friends. I told them they'd have a better time coming out with me, and I tacked on a "trust me" at the end. :)

Anyway, sure enough, we all went out. Hmmm, maybe this isn't a similar situation at all, but sometimes you need to tell a girl what's best for her.

Advice - get her number ASAP. Be HONEST with her. Tell her exactly what you said here; that your friend said she hated you and she would rather hang out with other people. Mention that you enjoyed your conversation and you'd like to get together sometime soon.

Just be honest, don't make up excuses or you'll look like a fool. :D
 

CrazyGoNuts

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yeah I am workin on gettin her number, not the way I would liked to have gotten it but at this point I am willin to get it from her friend rather than waitin god knows how long before we all get together again. She is the first girl in years that I have really wanted to get to know and I cant just ingore my feelings this time. I am confident that if we get together one on one that we will both feel the same way.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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