Can quiet confidence be mistaken for being a nice guy?

[Konada]

I was talking to a female friend about another day and she told me I gave off the 'nice guy vibe'.

Are there any cases when your quiet demeanor has given off the wrong vibe you want to portray to others?

 

[BrainDamage92]

Hmm I dont know about being quiet but the coolest girls find you being abit nervous around them a turn on...

 

[Skyline]

I was talking to a female friend about another day and she told me I gave off the 'nice guy vibe'.

Are there any cases when your quiet demeanor has given off the wrong vibe you want to portray to others?

This is probably my life story. Back when I was hardcore AFC, confused, and all that... I was super quiet and sometimes I would randomly be indifferent due to my low self-esteem. Last year, when I began applying SS, I came out of my shell and tried being out spoken as much as possible. I will say that it felt really unnatural and it was more "random" than it was "outgoing." If those two are even in the same category...

Anyway... I've actually changed BACK to being quiet and it's actually worked some wonders... People, including women, question why I'm quiet and I either tell them that they are more of a talker and I'm more of a listener or that I only talk when I have something to say. But this time I have a lot of confidence and strong body language backing me up... So I actually really have that silent mystery factor going on right now in my opinion especially since I'm still able to say something smooth despite me being quiet.

I've never once been called a "nice guy" but more of a "Silent killer" or just somebody that is quiet but they know better than to mess with me kind of thing. So... it has to do with...

in my opinion if your game is quiet confidence you're relying 100% on looks... Which can be fine it is not like us big mouths don't repulse some women

I would say this is pretty accurate in regards to body language and all of that. I didn't feel like I was benefiting from being a "big mouth" so I reverted back to my roots and I'm glad I did to be honest. So if women are thinking you're a "nice guy" or anything then it definitely has something to do with the way you carry yourself or interact with others. I don't think it has anything to do with being quiet.

 

[zekko]

I was talking to a female friend about another day and she told me I gave off the 'nice guy vibe'.

Just to throw this out there: Are you sure she was insulting you?

At worst, it might have been a challenge to see if you were able to get sexual without getting involved.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Quiet confidence is what I have, also am a quiet leader. It can be mistaken for "nice guy vibes" but its how you respond to her **** test and your foundation, actions and eventually in bed that will let her know you are a alpha

 

[SeymourCake]

Start disagreeing with her on certain subjects. Command her to do stuff. Assert yourself. Put base into your voice. Have a strong body posture and exude good body language as you speak. Always maintain eye contact. Don't be afraid to say no.

 

[Konada]

Just to throw this out there: Are you sure she was insulting you?

At worst, it might have been a challenge to see if you were able to get sexual without getting involved.

Nah we were have a discussion on social dynamics and it kind of came up when we were talking about vibes people give off. I thought I had shaken the 'nice guy' vibe off but apparently not.

I've always been the quiet dude doing his own thing, though when I open my mouth I've been told that its pure gold. Passing shyt tests, saying no and banter aren't issues for me so it kind of caught me off that I'm giving off the 'nice guy' vibe.

 

[zekko]

Nah we were have a discussion on social dynamics and it kind of came up when we were talking about vibes people give off. I thought I had shaken the 'nice guy' vibe off but apparently not.

What I mean is are you sure she is using the term "nice guy" the same way that the manosphere does? And if you don't want to be considered a nice guy, what do you want people to think of you? I suppose you want people to think you're a jerk.

 

[Konada]

What I mean is are you sure she is using the term "nice guy" the same way that the manosphere does? And if you don't want to be considered a nice guy, what do you want people to think of you? I suppose you want people to think you're a jerk.

Pretty sure since she compared me to other more vocal guys though everyone knows I don't give a shvt about what I say. Of course there are 2 extremes of alpha men, the vocal and the quiet kind. It seems like the more outspoken people would be regarded faster as alphas rather than the quiet ones.

 

[Trump]

I was talking to a female friend about another day and she told me I gave off the 'nice guy vibe'.

Are there any cases when your quiet demeanor has given off the wrong vibe you want to portray to others?

Bro, she's baiting you, trying to get you nervous and to react. You have to turn it around and use it to your advantage instead of finding a solution to her comment.

I would respond: "OK, that's very good. Can we sleep together?"

If she says no, then you say "you give off the friend vibe where you leave the guy in the friend zone for your ego and validation."

But a better question is, why do you have female friend you are not sleeping with?

 

[BrainDamage92]

Look her in the eye while thinking about penetrating her deep and say: "Ye Im a nice guy, why do you say it like its bad thing?"

And bam... you win...

 

[zekko]

Pretty sure since she compared me to other more vocal guys though everyone knows I don't give a shvt about what I say. Of course there are 2 extremes of alpha men, the vocal and the quiet kind. It seems like the more outspoken people would be regarded faster as alphas rather than the quiet ones.

How do you know she is even interested in what an alpha male is? I mean I know a lot of this pickup stuff has become mainstream, but I'm not sure that a typical female would draw a connection between a "nice guy" and "alpha males".

I like Brain Damage's response. Or I would have said something like "Hell yes I'm a nice guy, that's what I keep telling everybody".

I mean if a guy on this forum calls you a nice guy, you can pretty well be assured that you have been insulted, to the point of being spit on - you've basically been called a spineless wimp. I'm not so sure that is necessarily the case with women, or people, out in the "real world".

 

[Chamber36]

I mean if a guy on this forum calls you a nice guy, you can pretty well be assured that you have been insulted, to the point of being spit on - you've basically been called a spineless wimp. I'm not so sure that is necessarily the case with women, or people, out in the "real world".

I agree, about being called a nice guy in general.

I do think that in this case, though, the girl was kinda probing him, since they were talking about social dynamics anyway, to see how he would react, and whether he's insecure about the vibe he gives off.

Personally I prefer if girls see me as a nice guy. I like to be regarded as quite pleasurable, delightful even.

I prefer girls that like nice guys anyway. If they see me as a pushover and therefore don't respect me, they an fvck off, as I don't want to be disrespected nor strung along in any way.

 

[zekko]

girls that like nice guys anyway. If they see me as a pushover and therefore don't respect me, they an fvck off, as I don't want to be disrespected nor strung along in any way.

I really dislike the term "nice guy", always have. As you note, what the manosphere means when they use it is that you are a pushover, a supplicator, and a guy who puts women on a pedestal. None of which has ANYTHING to do with the adjective "nice", which really describes a friendly guy who is enjoyable to be around. A guy who might actually give you a ride to the auto parts store instead of telling you to fook off and driving away laughing.

PUAs say that women are the ones who started using "nice guy" to describe worthless males, as in "You're a nice guy, BUT....". However, I've heard too many women describe guys they are deeply into as "nice" to believe that. As in "He's sooooo nice".

 

[KingBeef]

I really dislike the term "nice guy", always have. As you note, what the manosphere means when they use it is that you are a pushover, a supplicator, and a guy who puts women on a pedestal. None of which has ANYTHING to do with the adjective "nice", which really describes a friendly guy who is enjoyable to be around. A guy who might actually give you a ride to the auto parts store instead of telling you to fook off and driving away laughing.

PUAs say that women are the ones who started using "nice guy" to describe worthless males, as in "You're a nice guy, BUT....". However, I've heard too many women describe guys they are deeply into as "nice" to believe that. As in "He's sooooo nice".

Totally agree... Women just hijacked that word and laced it with a bad stigma. My persona, on the surface is of a nice guy (or what I would call "down to earth")

As far as my personality... I am a very likeable, kind, helpful good guy who's available (most of the time) to family, friends and co-workers...

BUT women are totally different ...As with experience and the help of this site, I developed the uncanny ability to screen users and manipulators to my benefit because I KNOW I'M A GOOD MAN AND MY TIME IS VALUABLE. When I have to I have no problem laying down the law and being firm with her when she gets out of line. Sometimes, they feel so shocked that I can put them in there place because they thought "they knew me." THEY KNOW NOTHING...

I am my confident, charming self and I have no problem dropping sexual innuendo with them. I treat women that I'm interested like little girls, I play with them, tease and punish them. They are emotionally based little girls so I throw logic out the door...I just make them feel great but when they get out of line they get punished....but when I think I might be getting too ****y/over confident...my good guy persona "humbles" me and keeps me grounded.

Guess you can say I'm weird like that....

 

[KingBeef]

I think I may have gotten off track but I wanted to still answer your original question...

Are there any cases when your quiet demeanor has given off the wrong vibe you want to portray to others?

It did when I was younger because for me it gave them "I'm not interested or I don't like them vibe". I agree with the earlier poster that quite confidence by itself is only very successful if you were ridiculouly good looking and most guys don't have that luxury....

HOWEVER, if quiet confidence is the route that you want to go maybe "tweaking it" could benefit you. For example, if your approach keeps you very neutral with women try to have them talk more about themselves and throw in a compliment here and there, become a better listener. This way not only are you keeping your frame but you are subtling making her feel more attracted to you.

 

[zekko]

Totally agree... Women just hijacked that word and laced it with a bad stigma.

Actually, I think it was butthurt men that came up with the "nice guy" stigma. Who do you think first said "Nice guys finish last"? It had to be some bitter fvck. Guys got disappointed because the woman they wanted chose some other better looking, more interesting, dude. So they proclaimed that life was unfair because they were NICE, and because they were NICE, that meant the world owed them.

Then PUAs took the term and ran with it. But they said that "nice guys" only did things to help other people because they were expecting something else in return. Which isn't nice at all. So none of it makes any real sense.

 

[Konada]

Actually, I think it was butthurt men that came up with the "nice guy" stigma. Who do you think first said "Nice guys finish last"? It had to be some bitter fvck. Guys got disappointed because the woman they wanted chose some other better looking, more interesting, dude. So they proclaimed that life was unfair because they were NICE, and because they were NICE, that meant the world owed them.

Then PUAs took the term and ran with it. But they said that "nice guys" only did things to help other people because they were expecting something else in return. Which isn't nice at all. So none of it makes any real sense.

Well I have been that guy in one point in my life so the term 'nice guy' definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

She was drawing comparisons between me and the other more popular guys in uni who gave off a more '******* vibe'. It was a obvious shyt test and I responded accordingly.

However, it got me thinking since these guys who gave off the 'assh0le vibe' were:

1. Outspoken/Vocal
2. Didn't give a shyt what they say

I have (2) down so I'm guessing the 'nice guy vibe' I gave off would be attributed to my quiet persona.

 

[Chamber36]

There's only one remedy to your problem man.

You gotta get REAL MEAN, REAL FAST.

Just k!ck the **** out of those popular guys in your UNI. Then you can be the silent but deadly unpredictably dangerous quiet guy, that nobody wants to fvck with. Like that guy who always sits in the dark corner of bars in movies, never says a word, but everyone knows he's the baddest motherfvcker in the bar.

Yea.... That's what you need to do... ^^^^

 

[zekko]

1. Outspoken/Vocal
2. Didn't give a shyt what they say

I have (2) down so I'm guessing the 'nice guy vibe' I gave off would be attributed to my quiet persona.

Sounds like you give a shyt what this chick says.
I agree women like bold action, that's part of being a man who takes charge.

The biggest red flag you will ever hear from a woman is "I like bad boys".

Sounds like you are trying to create some sort of player reputation so that the sleazier women will be more attracted to you. And that's fine, if that's what you are wanting to achieve, especially at the college level. I've gone down that route myself at different points in my life, although overall I tend to prefer nice girls.