"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Can I have a mans opinion on this PLEASE (I am a girl)

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

jeannie

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Thanks SgtSplacker! I need a forum education! I am a forum virgin! First time today. I think the majority of replies have been very helpful. Makes a nice change to interact with guys who are open about feelings and can give good advice! Much appreciated! X
 

jeannie

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Eternal Water, thanks for the links, I will have to have a look and get accustomed to these new terms. I will be back when I can speak the lingo! Cheers x
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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synergy1

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don't worry, I have been here for years and never heard of wuming. you learn something new every day!

a general word of precaution, be careful about advice you take here. It takes a little diligence on your end to decipher good/ bad courses of action. So far, it seems that people are pretty spot on though.

I know that sometimes women want men to make a move and put themselves out there for that to happen, but sometimes the signals are too subtle. I won't speak for the entire male populous, but I look for a few tell tale signs like body language and proximity. If they laugh at everything even if its stupid thats always good. Even with some confidence, I am unsure sometimes if a move is appropriate. The quickest way to end something is to make an unwarranted move, so most of us avoid it without clear signals. In short, make sure your intentions are known.
 

SgtSplacker

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synergy1 said:
don't worry, I have been here for years and never heard of wuming. you learn something new every day!

a general word of precaution, be careful about advice you take here. It takes a little diligence on your end to decipher good/ bad courses of action. So far, it seems that people are pretty spot on though.

I know that sometimes women want men to make a move and put themselves out there for that to happen, but sometimes the signals are too subtle. I won't speak for the entire male populous, but I look for a few tell tale signs like body language and proximity. If they laugh at everything even if its stupid thats always good. Even with some confidence, I am unsure sometimes if a move is appropriate. The quickest way to end something is to make an unwarranted move, so most of us avoid it without clear signals. In short, make sure your intentions are known.
Absolutely, particularly in a work environment you have to constantly remind yourself that every friendly girl may not want to be intimate with you. Maybe they just... you know... want to be just friends? What a strange concept! It's impossible to focus on work if you are constantly trying to interpret female reactions as sexual or not. So at least I kinda shut that train of thought off when i'm at work. But yeah, it's different at a pickup place like a bar or a club because that's what people generally go there to do. So when you are at non designated pickup place like work you have to send him very clear signals that you want to step out of normal friendly behavior and start something else.

One thing I can say for sure is that for a man to talk for hours on the phone like that it takes quite the attraction to the other person. That's why you got some of the earlier responses to this thread like "Sounds like he's afc." and "I'm not sure which one of you to b*tch slap." what they're basically trying to tell you is that there is a very strong connection between you two, something generally not accepted on a forum where you are taught to date multiple women at the same time and to generally guard your emotions like the hope diamond.

Look him in the eye. Grab his junk. And tell him to take you right there and then!
 

AAAgent

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synergy1 said:
don't worry, I have been here for years and never heard of wuming. you learn something new every day!

a general word of precaution, be careful about advice you take here. It takes a little diligence on your end to decipher good/ bad courses of action. So far, it seems that people are pretty spot on though.

I know that sometimes women want men to make a move and put themselves out there for that to happen, but sometimes the signals are too subtle. I won't speak for the entire male populous, but I look for a few tell tale signs like body language and proximity. If they laugh at everything even if its stupid thats always good. Even with some confidence, I am unsure sometimes if a move is appropriate. The quickest way to end something is to make an unwarranted move, so most of us avoid it without clear signals. In short, make sure your intentions are known.

Totally agree with synergy1 on this. The worst is when you guys are so comfortable and you have no clue how to distinguish comfort from interest. That maybe why your man is not making a move because if he does, as Synergy1 said, if your not ready yet or interested he couldn't end it all (his chances with the girl/you) right there by trying to escalate to the bedroom or etc.

What are clear signs though and the best are probably having a drink in your apartment. You can make it easier for him by having a few drinks then pulling out some book/photo album and make him hop in real close to look. Now that he's next to you and you're both a bit loose just skootch on over and nudge him till you guys are literally bumping next to each other. If that doesn't give him a clear signs he must be retarded.

Sometimes another hard thing for me, probably not all men is to make a smooth transition. I don't force a kiss, or a bedding session, not when im dating someone. Everything is a gradual transition (barring One Night Stands aka ONS). If you let him know your available to escalate make it easier for him to capitalize on an opportunity. eye locking is always great. Look at a photo album and just comment on this person's eyes looks like his, lock eyes and BAM.

I live in a metro area where most people live with room mates and hang out a room. Sitting on your bed and inviting him to sit next to you is also a clear way to see if he's interested. He should obviously know what you're hinting at then.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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