"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Can I get into the Lets Just be Friends Zone to make friends?

enamdar

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
A lot of guys on here complain about the "Lets Just Be Friends Zone ". When they try to start a romantic relationship with a girl she says lets just be friends.

Do you think this is a good way to make friends? Its like the negotiation tactic where you make a huge false request, which makes your actual request seem minor.

IDK for me having "just friends" male or female would be a step up from where I'm now. Being a "shoulder to cry on" with no chance of anything more, would be a huge leap over total isolation.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

ARrocket

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2008
Messages
1,411
Reaction score
37
Location
East Coast USA
Those LJBF friendships aren't real. So, to answer your question...no.

You're gonna have to make friends the old fashioned way. There's some good stuff in the DJ Bible about building a social circle.

If you want to make female friends, just talk to women without being sexual. Invite a coworker to lunch, something like that.
 

enamdar

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
ARrocket said:
If you want to make female friends, just talk to women without being sexual. Invite a coworker to lunch, something like that.
Isn't that basically a LJBF friendship? IDK you hear both AFCs and PUAs talk about the friendzone like its the worst thing in the world. But I mean if you have no friends, friendship is friendship.
 

EFFORT

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2003
Messages
2,115
Reaction score
45
Location
USA
enamdar said:
Isn't that basically a LJBF friendship? IDK you hear both AFCs and PUAs talk about the friendzone like its the worst thing in the world. But I mean if you have no friends, friendship is friendship.
Like ARrocket said LJBF doesn't really mean she wants to be friends with you, shes just trying to let you down lightly. Take on some active social hobbies to make real friends. Any type of martial art is a good starting point.
 

enamdar

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Ok maybe I'm messing up two separate things LJBF rejection and the Friend Zone. What I'm interested in is how guys get into the friend zone.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
ah the irony of ljbfs lol, i had to realize this one the hard way

see, you really aren't friends. that's the kicker. a woman should be obligated to say "let's just be you the guy who calls me and i talk to you about all the **** i am getting while you fawn over me which you would never get, and let you take me out to eat everyonce in a while while i'm bored?'

oh but you aren't friends. not even close. a girl doesn't say hey girls what are you doing tonight, you are going clubbing and then going to get drinks afterwards! good let me call backbreaker and see if he wants to go lmao. **** doesn't work like that.

i remember my old ljbf oneitis, and hell we had known each other for about a decade, so we were about as close as "friends as you will find.

my old oneitis had some smokin hot friends i would have loved to hook up with but she would never let me hang out with them.




so in closing, it would be a good theory, if you actually were real friends, but you aren't so it's not
 
U

user43770

Guest
enamdar said:
Ok maybe I'm messing up two separate things LJBF rejection and the Friend Zone. What I'm interested in is how guys get into the friend zone.

I feel bad for you, man. It sucks that you're actually desperate to be some girl's emotional tampon. You know that's all the friend zone is, right? You are kept around to be taken advantage of - and not in a sexual way. If you want real friendship, do what EFFORT suggested.
 

enamdar

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Well I assumed that since there so many guys on the internet complaining about the dreaded friendzone it was easy to get into.

So are you saying that even though the friendzone is so hated by guys, it actually is not easy to get into and takes as much work as a regular friendship?
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
no it's actually quite easy to get into. take a girl on dates and make no moves, tell her your every waking thought and call her repeadtly, buy her ****, take her to dinner, you will be htere in no time.


(that seriously is like a forumla to get into it)

just saying that you really aren't their friend, you are a tampon. a friendship is a mutually benefiting relationship where i get something and they get something. there is nothing mutually benefiting about this relationship. you pick up the phone, she blabs about hte guys doing her wrong and goes **** guys, you jack off thinking about her. you take her out she eats you pay. and she keeps you away from her real friends.
 

enamdar

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
backbreaker said:
no it's actually quite easy to get into. take a girl on dates and make no moves, tell her your every waking thought and call her repeadtly, buy her ****, take her to dinner, you will be htere in no time.


(that seriously is like a forumla to get into it)

just saying that you really aren't their friend, you are a tampon. a friendship is a mutually benefiting relationship where i get something and they get something. there is nothing mutually benefiting about this relationship. you pick up the phone, she blabs about hte guys doing her wrong and goes **** guys, you jack off thinking about her. you take her out she eats you pay. and she keeps you away from her real friends.
That doesn't sound THAT easy. I mean you are taking her out on a date, even if it goes no where. Thats half the game right there. Ok thats one form of the FZ.

But I mean from reading forums, it seems like most FZs never even get that far. The girl never even has any idea the guy wants more. So how do I get into the FZ without having to ask the girl out?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

ARrocket

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2008
Messages
1,411
Reaction score
37
Location
East Coast USA
enamdar said:
That doesn't sound THAT easy. I mean you are taking her out on a date, even if it goes no where. Thats half the game right there. Ok thats one form of the FZ.

But I mean from reading forums, it seems like most FZs never even get that far. The girl never even has any idea the guy wants more. So how do I get into the FZ without having to ask the girl out?
Take a dance class. Take a cooking class. Take a yoga class. Join a book club. Be around women. Lie to them and tell them you have a girlfriend. Disqualify yourself, but still express an interest in hanging out with them. Invite a girl out to lunch, to a play, something.

Make male friends, this is even more important.

Enamdar, how old are you?
 
Top