"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Can I bite your perfect breasts?

johnny789

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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts
just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Skilla_Staz

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lol i love it
 

KillaCam

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Lol, yup, I smell a lawsuit in the air :p

Classic.
 

Vulpine

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A dirty old lady walks up to a guy in a bar and tells him:
OL: "I bet you $100 that your balls are square."
GIB: "HAHA! Are you crazy? That's a silly bet, my balls are round!"
OL: "Then you won't mind if I feel them to be sure?" *as she slaps down a $100 bill on the bar*
GIB: "Uh... I'll take your money, sure, go ahead." *reaches for money*
OL: *feels balls* "Yep, they're round. You win." *huge smile*
GIB: "Why are you smiling? You just lost $100!"
OL: "I just bet the guy over there $1000 that you'd let me feel your balls."
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MrS

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They're a lot of different versions of that joke, Vulpine, see Desperado.
:D
 

Vulpine

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Yeah, it's a basic "joke format". You can substitute anything you want for "perfect boobs" or "square balls". The generic formats are easy to remember, and you can switch them up to fit the situations.

"I bet you $100 that my jizz tastes like apple pie."
"Will you let me bone you in the azz for $100?"
"Darn, your wife is tight. You win."

Whatever.

They are like the "An XXX walks into a bar..." format.

"So this blind mime walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Harvey Wallbanger."

From there, you can say whatever you want.

"I don't know what happened next, I got up and went to the bathroom."
"You missed the joke already, nevermind."
*make motions like a blind mime drinking a drink or paying for a drink or feeling around on the bar trying to find the drink*

Whatever. Generic joke format. I can never remember jokes, so I make them up on the fly using the "standard templates".
 
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