"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Can I bite your perfect breasts?

johnny789

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A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?

"Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts
just once for $10,000 dollars?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?"

"Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............."
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Skilla_Staz

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lol i love it
 

KillaCam

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Lol, yup, I smell a lawsuit in the air :p

Classic.
 

Vulpine

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A dirty old lady walks up to a guy in a bar and tells him:
OL: "I bet you $100 that your balls are square."
GIB: "HAHA! Are you crazy? That's a silly bet, my balls are round!"
OL: "Then you won't mind if I feel them to be sure?" *as she slaps down a $100 bill on the bar*
GIB: "Uh... I'll take your money, sure, go ahead." *reaches for money*
OL: *feels balls* "Yep, they're round. You win." *huge smile*
GIB: "Why are you smiling? You just lost $100!"
OL: "I just bet the guy over there $1000 that you'd let me feel your balls."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MrS

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They're a lot of different versions of that joke, Vulpine, see Desperado.
:D
 

Vulpine

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Yeah, it's a basic "joke format". You can substitute anything you want for "perfect boobs" or "square balls". The generic formats are easy to remember, and you can switch them up to fit the situations.

"I bet you $100 that my jizz tastes like apple pie."
"Will you let me bone you in the azz for $100?"
"Darn, your wife is tight. You win."

Whatever.

They are like the "An XXX walks into a bar..." format.

"So this blind mime walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Harvey Wallbanger."

From there, you can say whatever you want.

"I don't know what happened next, I got up and went to the bathroom."
"You missed the joke already, nevermind."
*make motions like a blind mime drinking a drink or paying for a drink or feeling around on the bar trying to find the drink*

Whatever. Generic joke format. I can never remember jokes, so I make them up on the fly using the "standard templates".
 
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