Can good looks work against you?

[The Master Disaster]

I posted this back 9 months ago when I originally got contacts. I was initially utterly confused by all the sudden female attention.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=139118

Now, that I've lost a little weight and changed my wardrobe for the better. Women eye fvck me constantly, but don't approach me. I mean... A woman will send me 50 IOI's. Then soon as they know I notice, they get incredibly bashful and run away.

I still have constant occurrences where woman will just utter syllables in the hopes of forming a word. Man, I feel so bad for them, but I can't just start speaking for them... :-\

It just drives me mad that women will give up on me right away because I come across as "too good looking."

But what REALLY, REALLY drives me mad is that the women who can hold their own are like HB 9's and 10's who are calm and collect. They'll chit-chat with me, but expect me to have better game. I mean it's ridiculous. I just got good looking (I still don't even think I'm good looking), and now I am too good looking for women I CAN talk to, but I can't work the women who will talk to me.

It's like the HB 9's and 10s expect me to be a player and have all the right things to say as though I've been good looking my entire life. Most of these women have hearts of ice... Nothing worse that a girl knowing she's damn good looking.

I just wish HB 8's wouldn't give up before I can even talk to them. It's like I go to make a move, and then they either say or do something that makes the entire scene awkward. It's like, "Wow, that was .. odd." Then she'll become even more bashful and avoid me...

Now, I have one-itis for this girl I work with in a group, and she's a 9. I swear that girl is attracted, but she expects me to play games all the time. I'm just like lets either go out or not. She'll laugh some days; then other days she'll be dormant. She'll be incredibly interested in my life then not. We'll KINO; then we'll not KINO.

... God, I'm just frustrated. I might just go back to wearing glasses, and date some HB 6 just so I don't have to put up with this crap.

I may of just ranted... I apologize, but seriously Good looks can be just as big of a curse as having average to hideous looks. Nothing in life is ever truly "Better." It's just different, and don't let anyone ever try to convince you of the contrary.

 

[MisterMcGee]

I feel, when you look great or are pretty built, people assume you are a player-type and so forth, or just plain associate you with negative attributes (like "he's a jock", for example). I see this type of judgements being made in social circles and when meeting new people casually. Not really in clubs and stuff because people are usually drunk and aren't judging character, they're judging status and confidence and hotness and attractiveness based on whether they'd like to **** them or not.

 

[WC2]

I feel, when you look great or are pretty built, people assume you are a player-type and so forth, or just plain associate you with negative attributes (like "he's a jock", for example). I see this type of judgements being made in social circles and when meeting new people casually. Not really in clubs and stuff because people are usually drunk and aren't judging character, they're judging status and confidence and hotness and attractiveness based on whether they'd like to **** them or not.

In my experience these are stereotypes held by men towards other men. Usually it roots from envy. I remember back in high school how the less fortunate always made fun of the more fortunate; it still happens when you grow up.

Women on the other hand see higher status men as more attractive, whether they want to admit or not.

Being good looking isn't a negative. If at all, you're just a little more intimidating and must assert yourself to women and show them that, "Yes woman, I'm on a different level, but you're welcome to join."

Good looking and shy, is a killer however. Good looking guys who are shy you'll find talk to less women than anyone else. This is not only because they're social mutes, but because a woman's first impression is that he's on another level and isn't inviting to anyone below him. Soon they find out he's just socially awkward.

However, good looking men who have great social standing and personality are women slayers.

 

[Jitterbug]

Boo hoo, you're too good-looking and women don't approach you! Get off your arse and approach them, you lazy bugger!

Learn how to make women feel comfortable in your presence. That shouldn't take much work.

 

[oakraiderz2]

You sound a little too full of yourself. Clearly you dont have a personality to make girls attracted. Girls arent suppose to appoach you nd make all the moves. If you werent so arrogant and intimidating you might be approached once in your life. Learn how all this stuff works and it wont be a problem, son. Being good looking is not even close to a curse. You have no idea how much stuff i can get away with and how easy it is to get girls...like shootin fish in a barrell.

 

[facadegeniality]

i asked about the same thing in another thread too!

i don't think it's so easy. coz like most of you say, quality women need not be a 9 or 10. and im sure the threadstarter is looking for quality women, one that is of the same intellectual level, one that he can clique with and talk to.

often or not, his current good looks scares them and i can attest to that. they look at you, and they jus get scared. if u r too friendly, they think u r a player.

one might say that then these women have no confidence and what not, but think about it, even the hb10s have their moments of insecurity. as humans we all do. so i say dress appropriate not dress intimidating.

now where do i draw the line? i guess it is experience. change ur dressing and see what kinda girls you attract with each type of dressing.

Jus my opinion

 

[The Master Disaster]

I didn't mean to come off full of myself by any means. Please don't take it that way.

It's just the way women react around me is completely different than a year ago. It's like your in reverso world.

By the way, I don't like the attacks against my personality. I am a really funny and intelligent guy.

It's probably a self-confidence problem. Being the average dude to something women desire. I still don't even feel comfortable saying that. The way women react to me and the way I see myself are totally different. Sometimes I just don't even feel comfortable in my own skin. To me, it just seems bizarre almost surreal.

I've for so long got women with my personality that that be came a so ingrained in my mind.

But those cases where the women stumble to speak, I don't know for a fact they all were intimidated by me, but jesus it sure happens a lot.

I feel like a nut case. I need to get over this ... it's been 9 months.

 

[MisterMcGee]

"one that he can clique with and talk to."
You mean 'click' not 'clique'.

 

[oakraiderz2]

I didn't mean to come off full of myself by any means. Please don't take it that way.

It's just the way women react around me is completely different than a year ago. It's like your in reverso world.

By the way, I don't like the attacks against my personality. I am a really funny and intelligent guy.

It's probably a self-confidence problem. Being the average dude to something women desire. I still don't even feel comfortable saying that. The way women react to me and the way I see myself are totally different. Sometimes I just don't even feel comfortable in my own skin. To me, it just seems bizarre almost surreal.

So whats the problem? If you have a good personality then why do you b*tch and moan about girls who expect you to have so much "game?" This shouldnt even be a problem. Girls are probably indimidated because of how you carry yourself. Being good lookin and shy (like previously mentioned by someone) will cause girls to think youre on a higher level. If youre friendlier youll find everything is a lot easier. And...stop complaining.

 

[NewAndImproved]

I didn't mean to come off full of myself by any means. Please don't take it that way.

It's just the way women react around me is completely different than a year ago. It's like your in reverso world.

By the way, I don't like the attacks against my personality. I am a really funny and intelligent guy.

It's probably a self-confidence problem. Being the average dude to something women desire. I still don't even feel comfortable saying that. The way women react to me and the way I see myself are totally different. Sometimes I just don't even feel comfortable in my own skin. To me, it just seems bizarre almost surreal.

I've for so long got women with my personality that that be came a so ingrained in my mind.

But those cases where the women stumble to speak, I don't know for a fact they all were intimidated by me, but jesus it sure happens a lot.

I feel like a nut case. I need to get over this ... it's been 9 months.

I can relate to some extent. There's a disconnect between what people see in me and what I see in myself. I care a lot about my appearance but when I'm given chances b/c of it, I shy away. I don't feel as attractive as some girls think I am so in the end it doesn't matter what I look like.

I know why I lack that inner confidence...I was teased about my appearance growing up and still see myself in that light. Looking good, dressing well etc only hides the feelings I still have. When I make peace w/these past experiences, then I'll be able to move on.

 

[facadegeniality]

"one that he can clique with and talk to."
You mean 'click' not 'clique'.

Thanks for the correction!

 

[Eugene123]

Can good looks work against you?


The answer is.....



Yes

 

[Dannyrt34]

It sounds like you are not making yourself appear approachable. Maybe you have a 'pissed off' look on your face all the time.

I like to believe that anybody can have any girl. Looks DO mean something, but not what you might think. Looks just mean you may have to game a girl a different way.

For example, if the average guy talks to a girl and lays down some C&F comments, making fun of her, and teasing her all in good fun. He'll come off as confident.

Now when a good looking guy does the same thing, he seems stuck-up.

To get past that you might actually have to be nicer. I'll explain it again a different way. The average guy needs to bring a girl DOWN to his level for her to be interested in him, he does this by teasing her and pointing out certain things about her she may be self concious about (be respectful though). And a good looking guy needs to bring that same HB10 UP to his level, to make her feel like she basically has a chance. To do this you actually give more compliments and be nicer to her.

Understand? Trust me it works

 

[Jitterbug]

For example, if the average guy talks to a girl and lays down some C&F comments, making fun of her, and teasing her all in good fun. He'll come off as confident.

Now when a good looking guy does the same thing, he seems stuck-up.

In theory, yes.

A friend of mine is a very good-looking, athletic guy. He lays down C+F mercilessly with the girls. They love him. That guy's a natural. It's who he is.

 

[MisterMcGee]

It's a little tough when you aren't confident, cause you feel like you need to bring every girl down to your level.

Sometimes you'll notice girls saying things about themselves that are 'bad', which could be an attempt for her to appear more approachable to you. This doesn't mean she doesn't see you as valuable, but she sees herself as very valuable and this is simply a way for her to 'open herself up' to you in a strange woman-y way.

 

[jacob]

Your looks work against you if you only depend on your looks. I used to do that and would be quiet hoping their admiring me, while my ugly, rugged, thug, gangsta friends would be joking with them, making them laugh acting like a dominant big brother to them and making them feel comfortable and secure. Then they'd go to the room and bang. Girls are different from guys, looks aren't important to them like it is to a guy. I think it's more important on making them comfortable. When I ask my girlfriends who they prefer between Vin Diesel or Brad Pitt the majority pick Vin Diesel. They say they don't like the metrosexual guys.

 

[Jitterbug]

When I ask my girlfriends who they prefer between Vin Diesel or Brad Pitt the majority pick Vin Diesel. They say they don't like the metrosexual guys.

Girls also say that they like nice guys too. Do you believe them?

You're sure if Brad Pitt shows up and asks them for a date, they'd turn him down?

 

[MisterMcGee]

I'm not a badass OB type guy, and I definitely don't look like it. I have a babyface look and a lot of girls fall for that.
When a girl calls you 'cute' and you show them your dirty side, you're as mysterious and interesting as can be. When you look rugged and you show them your dirty side, it's like "yup, what I expected." Not that it's bad, but it's not how I roll. lol

 

[DonJuan11]

But what REALLY, REALLY drives me mad is that the women who can hold their own are like HB 9's and 10's who are calm and collect. They'll chit-chat with me, but expect me to have better game. I mean it's ridiculous. I just got good looking (I still don't even think I'm good looking), and now I am too good looking for women I CAN talk to, but I can't work the women who will talk to me.

You are too good looking for women you can talk to? Sorry but this is incoherent.

It's like the HB 9's and 10s expect me to be a player and have all the right things to say as though I've been good looking my entire life. Most of these women have hearts of ice... Nothing worse that a girl knowing she's damn good looking.

There is nothing worse than a guy is better than average looking, but cannot talk clearly and logically about topics that interest women, so he puts the blame back on them.

Now, I have one-itis for this girl I work with in a group, and she's a 9. I swear that girl is attracted, but she expects me to play games all the time. I'm just like lets either go out or not. She'll laugh some days; then other days she'll be dormant. She'll be incredibly interested in my life then not. We'll KINO; then we'll not KINO.

Sorry but your post is completely illogical. You have worked to improve you physical appearance, but since the more attractive girls aren't falling head over heels in love with you, you are complaining about it? That makes absolutely no sense.

Further, what do you mean "Lets go or not"? Essentially you are telling her

1) I haven't closed confidently with you
2) I don't have enough game to pull you yet
3) You can't show me IOI and then stop, my ego can't handle that

Also, you seem to be upset this girl is not showing 100% interest in you all the time. Why aren't you showing 100% interest in her life all the time? Why aren't you asking her all sorts of questions about her life? You seem to be more concerned about why she isn't stroking your ego than anything else. It's about HER, It's NOT ABOUT YOU.

 

[jacob]

Girls also say that they like nice guys too. Do you believe them?

You're sure if Brad Pitt shows up and asks them for a date, they'd turn him down?

They would guaranteed go out with someone that looks like Brad Pitt and infact that's where the question popped up was because they were talking about Brad until I asked about Vin and they prefered Vin unanimously, but the point is Brad is prettier than Vin but Vin seems to have more masculine traits which is more attractive to females as far as looks go.

Me myself I look more like a Brad Pitt type and it does help but if you get to caught up on how handsome you look then you'll neglect the inner game and focus to much on your outer traits which will work against you. This is my experience.

I have always been good looking since kindergarten even now girls tell me I'm gorgeous and through grade school I've depended on my looks but no social game because again I would just fall back on my looks hoping that the girls would come up and ask me out or initiate convo, until I imitated my Don Juan friends and use ****y plus funny, then since I looked better than my friends I had the advantage.

But looks by it self could work against you if you use it as your main attracting point. Infact to me the more average looking guy keeps the girl longer than the pretty boy. All my friends are married now. And I'm still looking. I'm no expert and that's why I try and learn from this site but this is what I observed and experienced.