Can girls be attracted to several guys at once?

[GoinDeep]

Sounds like a dumb question, just trying to get some honest opinions. I was talking to a female friend of mine and told her about a girl I was interested in.

I said "she seems to like me but she appeares to be attracted to this other guy at the gym."

My friend says "Is she the only girl your interested in?"

Me: "No, you know there are several girls I'm interested in!"

Her: "What makes you think she is any different?"

I thought this was a good point. No sense getting dicouraged if she is flirting with someone else. Just play by the DJ rules and see if she comes your way.

 

[Gipper]

Exactly!

Gipper

 

[trickynick]

Any mention of another guy to you is a sign of total disinterest.

 

[GoinDeep]

Trickynick, Are you saying I should write her off because she mentioned another guy?

I think her comment was "was soandso(guy from the gym) at the party you were just at?

Me: "yeah, we had a couple beers together"

Her: "Call him bedroom eyes next time you see him at the gym, its an inside joke"

Me: I laugh it off and say "I dont think calling any guy at the gym bedroom eyes would be very good for my reputation"

Thats all that was said of the other guy. Could she possibly be trying to make me jealous? or just starting conversation?

 

[Deagleclaw]

Women can be attracted to a hundred guys at once, just like you are attracted to multiple females. But they would have to be stupid to pass up an opportunity to date a guy they ARE interested in, in hopes that another guy they are also interested in asks them out. You read Archie comics as a kid didn't you? Women play men off the other. They purposely create competition to see who will come out on top, they want to end up with the better of the two. Just make sure it's you.

A woman telling you she likes another guy doesn't mean she isn't interested in you, it could mean that she's trying to see if you'll get jealous. The way I see it, if a woman I'm NOT dating expresses interest in someone else, it's no big obstacle to overcome. But if you are ALREADY dating and this happens, ditch the broad.

Deagleclaw out

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Personality is who you are with the lights on, Character is who you are in the dark.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by trickynick:
Any mention of another guy to you is a sign of total disinterest.

That's a crock, nick. Just like a DJ uses the "social proof" or letting women see he is desirable to other women, women will do the exact same thing. I've done it many times. Especially if I know the guy is interested and he isn't moving fast enough. Women do this sometimes to let the guy know he has competition and it can be a cue for the guy to make his move.

 

[WildThang]

Originally posted by GoinDeep:
Trickynick, Are you saying I should write her off because she mentioned another guy?

I think her comment was "was soandso(guy from the gym) at the party you were just at?

Me: "yeah, we had a couple beers together"

Her: "Call him bedroom eyes next time you see him at the gym, its an inside joke"

Me: I laugh it off and say "I dont think calling any guy at the gym bedroom eyes would be very good for my reputation"

Thats all that was said of the other guy. Could she possibly be trying to make me jealous? or just starting conversation?

Depends on tone, context, too many other things to be sure. But it's a game play for sure. The line was either a neg hit on you. Or it was supposed to get you thinking 'Hey -what did she mean by that?

Either way, looks like it worked.

From what you've said I'd be inclined to be pessimistic about her interest. Real high interest would be more direct and more obvious.

Besides, if you think about it, talking about other guys is a really weird way to show she likes you. If nothing else it tells you that she's not going to be that great at telling you stuff directly, and she'll assume that it's up to you to read her mind, and if you don't, hey - hardball - what kind of loser are you anyway?

Not a good sign for the future, I'd say.

But never mind how she feels about other guys - how do you feel about her? That's way more important than figuring out where she's coming from.

And are you following one of the DJ golden rules by making sure you always at least two (preferably a lot more) prospects going at the same time?

 

[john]

goindeep: she screwed the guy! cool.

 

[smooth_as_silk]

Originally posted by trickynick:
Any mention of another guy to you is a sign of total disinterest.

I don't really agree .. Sometimes girls mention other guys to make them appear as a Challenge
I know this girl who likes me for sure and keeps mentioning guys around her because i am not interested

 

[trickynick]

Sounds like some of you disagree with me on this point.

I admit my comment was a little out of place because what GoinDeep originally said was that he heard of her interest in other guy(s) through a third party and not directly from the girl he was interested in.

I still believe that if a girl talks about other guys (in any favorable manner) in a conversation with you, it's a sign of disinterest or at least uncertainty.

If a girl I am interested in starts to do this, I nip it in the bud by saying things like "don't you have girlfriends to talk about this with" or "I am not the person to be discussing these things with."

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Look out for number one and don't step in number two!

 

[TheOtherGuy]

if a girl said she liked someone else i would just say i liked someone else pretty simple get her jealous along with yourself but i don't think thats a good idea. dang that girl was hott! huh what dang it

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huh? but why?

 

[Wyldfire]

Nick...seriously...women will tell you that so and so is flirting with them, or so and so is cute, or she's thinking about accepting so and so's offer for a date EVEN if she's interested in you. If she's totally ignoring you and showing no other interest at all...she's not interested. If she does show other signs of interest, don't let mentioning other guys discourage you. Men are supposed to do the pursuing...that's what we are all raised to believe. If a girl likes a guy and he isn't "getting" her signals or isn't moving fast enough she WILL lead you to believe that she is being pursued by others to get you moving. It's like setting a firecracker off underneath your @ss, telling you to make your move.

 

[trickynick]

Wyldfire,

You might be right about this. But what do you think I should say when something like that comes up? Were the lines I talked about in my last post appropriate?

My worry with regard to this is that if I don't be clear on the point of not wanting to hear about other guys, then I'll be on the slippery slope that leads to becoming her consoling sap or therapist which is never good.

 

[SoSuave.com]

To The Archive.

 

[disciple]

Let me think, hmmmmmm.............. Of course!!!!!!!!!

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

When I'm single, all men are fair game so I'm attracted to many men at the same time. When I'm in a relationship, I've already got my guy so all other men fade away and he's the only one I'm really attracted to.

 

[DJ_in_making]

Yup, I'm a woman! And proud of it.

U expect to be taken seriously w/ a name like that? U sound like a little girl trying to tick off her older brother by hanging around w/ his guy friends.....


And why would anyone revive a post from 2001???

 

[vagrant]

Sounds like a dumb question, just trying to get some honest opinions. I was talking to a female friend of mine and told her about a girl I was interested in.

I said "she seems to like me but she appeares to be attracted to this other guy at the gym."

My friend says "Is she the only girl your interested in?"

Me: "No, you know there are several girls I'm interested in!"

Her: "What makes you think she is any different?"

I thought this was a good point. No sense getting dicouraged if she is flirting with someone else. Just play by the DJ rules and see if she comes your way.

when you're with her, always let her know no one else is better...

 

[LAWYER]

who knows...

 

[Flirt-o-rama]

The girl is talking/dating with you, not your wife or a nun. If she does not know you, what reason would she have to commit to you? A date is not a promiss to forsake all others.