"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Can anyone relate to this.

Canadian Catnip

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Through my several years of moving from an AFC to a DJ, I have many experiences in what I will call the dying of the AFC in me.

The reaction I had yesterday to an event that killed a little more of my AFC was so different than what I used to go through.

In the early stages I would do something AFC and feel bad about what I did and then get upset that it didn't work. Journal about it, feel emotional about it, talk to others about it and spend days or weeks trying to get over the fact that some part of me had died.

Last night I again pulled an AFC move, it was subtle, some people even would have said it wasn't AFC at all, but deep inside me I knew what side of the fence the actions came from.

Here is the great thing. There was no wailing and gnashing of teeth on my part. I simply observed what I had done, made a note not to do that anymore and moved on.

So can anyone else relate to experiencing this kind of growth? Have you had those moments where the things you do, even the things you consider a mistake, just roll right off you like water off a ducks back?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Canadian Catnip

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SharinganUser said:
So how did this all turn out?
I posted this over a month and a half ago. I can't even remember what it was about.
 

DJVladdy

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I agree with you because ive experienced the same thing.

What that means is that you are becoming more and more of a man, and de-pvssyfying urself on a deep, subconscious level.

We used to get mad seconds, minutes, or hours after some minor AFC incident - mad at ourselves, because AFC was still a part of who we were.

Now that if anything trivial like that happens you just observe and take note of it, because that's what you become: the observer. you do not BE the afc anymore, insted you OBSERVE it/him because it is now a separate entity from YOU - the real man, the natural that you were meant to be all along.
 

DJVladdy

Master Don Juan
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I agree with you because ive experienced the same thing.

What that means is that you are becoming more and more of a man, and de-pvssyfying urself on a deep, subconscious level.

We used to get mad seconds, minutes, or hours after some minor AFC incident - mad at ourselves, because AFC was still a part of who we were.

Now that if anything trivial like that happens you just observe and take note of it, because that's what you become: the observer. you do not BE the afc anymore, insted you OBSERVE it/him because it is now a separate entity from YOU - the real man, the natural that you were meant to be all along.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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