"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Can anyone relate to this.

Canadian Catnip

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Through my several years of moving from an AFC to a DJ, I have many experiences in what I will call the dying of the AFC in me.

The reaction I had yesterday to an event that killed a little more of my AFC was so different than what I used to go through.

In the early stages I would do something AFC and feel bad about what I did and then get upset that it didn't work. Journal about it, feel emotional about it, talk to others about it and spend days or weeks trying to get over the fact that some part of me had died.

Last night I again pulled an AFC move, it was subtle, some people even would have said it wasn't AFC at all, but deep inside me I knew what side of the fence the actions came from.

Here is the great thing. There was no wailing and gnashing of teeth on my part. I simply observed what I had done, made a note not to do that anymore and moved on.

So can anyone else relate to experiencing this kind of growth? Have you had those moments where the things you do, even the things you consider a mistake, just roll right off you like water off a ducks back?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Canadian Catnip

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SharinganUser said:
So how did this all turn out?
I posted this over a month and a half ago. I can't even remember what it was about.
 

DJVladdy

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I agree with you because ive experienced the same thing.

What that means is that you are becoming more and more of a man, and de-pvssyfying urself on a deep, subconscious level.

We used to get mad seconds, minutes, or hours after some minor AFC incident - mad at ourselves, because AFC was still a part of who we were.

Now that if anything trivial like that happens you just observe and take note of it, because that's what you become: the observer. you do not BE the afc anymore, insted you OBSERVE it/him because it is now a separate entity from YOU - the real man, the natural that you were meant to be all along.
 

DJVladdy

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I agree with you because ive experienced the same thing.

What that means is that you are becoming more and more of a man, and de-pvssyfying urself on a deep, subconscious level.

We used to get mad seconds, minutes, or hours after some minor AFC incident - mad at ourselves, because AFC was still a part of who we were.

Now that if anything trivial like that happens you just observe and take note of it, because that's what you become: the observer. you do not BE the afc anymore, insted you OBSERVE it/him because it is now a separate entity from YOU - the real man, the natural that you were meant to be all along.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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