"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Can anyone help out a guy with great potential?

thesteveoh

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Hello everyone, im new to this site but after reading some of the stuff on here i figured i'd man up and ask for some help.. Im a very good looking 23 year old who has a great personality..I mean, Im funny, smart, Loyal, Respectful, and honest..But i have a problem...I havent been able to pick up chicks on a regular basis..It seems the only time I can get girls is when im drinking..Kinda effed huh? Im actually joining the navy after the new year and im very excited for the opprotunity to travel and meet new friends and hopefully some ladies...But i need help breaking down whatever wall this is in my way..Anyways if you guys can give me any tips or pointers it would be greatly appreciated.. I know there is a DJ inside me (hope that doesnt sound wierd) but Ive just gotta figure out how to bring it out..Thank in advance!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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magickarl

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Thats easy man.

With all the articles, and posts, and advice, it can seem a lot more confusing than it actually is.

Being a DJ is all about making yourself happy.

-> Setting & Achieving goals for yourself, doing hobbies you enjoy, ect -> Happiness -> Confidence -> Charisma -> Attractiveness -> Success with the ladies.

Where all of the confusion comes in is when men don't realize that the biggest part of DJing is making yourself number one, and doing it for your own happiness instead of just doing it to pick up girls. The biggest fallacy here is that women somehow magically make you happy. In reality, if you aren't happy with yourself all that adding a woman to the equation is going to do is bring you misery.

Women are a lot like using drugs. They can make you very happy, and they can certainly be addictive. They can also make you crash hard and **** up your life if you don't know what you are doing. You should never cultivate a dependency to them, and you should not make them a huge priority of your life. It's all about balance, and remembering that you do not NEED a woman to be happy, just yourself.

And soon after becoming happy with yourself, the rest falls in to place. The tips on this site can help you along the way, but in end what it comes down to is being the sort of guy who can have fun with himself (masturbation jokes aside.) After all, if you can't keep yourself happy, how are you going to keep someone else happy?
 

thesteveoh

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Wow

Thanks a lot magickarl..That analogy about the drugs was amazing, ive never thought of it like that but its perfect..I know i have to improve myself but i honestly dont know where to start, or how to start..ive got a lot of things i know i need to work on but it can get pretty overwhelming at times:confused: :: ...
 

thesteveoh

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And youre right too metaphysical...That ****s gotta stop...The only thing holding me back is me and ive gotta gotta get past that barrier ive made for myself...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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magickarl

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Let me help you with a few ideas on where to start:

I. Set up some physical goals:

Even if your already in good shape, it can't hurt to put yourself in better shape. You will feel better, more confident, and live longer. Exercising actually releases dopamine from your brain afterwards, and scientists say that it can fight depression. Besides that, it's no secret that women love a guy who is in good shape.

- Get that eight pack you've always wanted. Cut down some of that body fat, and start doing some crunches. Women love abs, and you will probably find yourself staring in the mirror a lot more often.

- Start running. A lot. You will improve your stamina, which will improve your stamina in the sack. It's also going to help you out in boot camp when you leave for the Navy.

- Its not for everyone, but if you think it's your style, bulk up a little bit. Start lifting weights, and you'll be thanking yourself in no time. Having a build can really boost confidence.


II. Find a hobby, and do it.

Find something that you are passionate about, and apply yourself to it. This can be anything. Cars, music, sports, writing, drawing... It can even be somethings that you may not have expected to like. Volunteer as a Big Brother, or do some work for the red cross or other charities. It sounds stupid, but you would be surprised how good you feel doing it. Plus, it's a great place to meet women.

- The idea here is to find something that truly makes you happy, and do it. For me, I love music and writing. Mostly, I enjoy being a lyricist. It falls somewhere in between hip-hop and poetry, but for me its a great release. I can talk about my dreams, what stresses me out, or even about what I was doing that day. Sometimes I show it to other people, sometimes I don't. But it makes me feel good doing it.

III. Make a lot of friends, and make friends with their friends. Then make friends with the friendses friends!


Expanding your social network can open up doors to you that you never would have thought to be options. Knowing people and their interests is great, and chances are you'll make some really close friends. Talk to anybody, people that you wouldn't ordinarily talk to or otherwise. When I walk down the street, I say hello to about anybody, and if the situation seems appropriate I sit down and talk to them for a minute.

Ever see the scenes at the beginning of movies where a guy walks down the sidewalk and everyone says hello to them? Wouldn't that be nice?

The term around here for it is social proof. People know you, like you, and talk about you in a positive way. By consequence, people that don't know you may hear about you. I've actually had it happen to me where I was at a house party and some people walked up to me and asked me if I was (MY NAME). I said that I was, and they started talking to me about a story they heard about me and some friends getting drunk at a party and making a raft to float on in someones pond.

* That night I made two new friends, and got three phone numbers *


Get out there and do it man!
 

daygameguy

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You are already good looking, good personality, socially aware, and successful. right?

But how are you going to convey all this? You need game for that. So read through some posts, and try some stuff, and become COMPETENT. Being competent is very crucial in order to use all the plus points that you already have.

So learn some game. And practice will fill up your confidence meter. You can't just decide to have confidence all of a sudden as some people suggest. That's my personal advice. Good luck with the navy thing. cheers!
 

thesteveoh

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Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to respond..i really appreciate it...can anyone give me some advice on how to pull chicks on the internet? im actually stayin at my sisters pad right now in texas and im from cali..so i dont really know anyone from around here except family so alot of my meeting girls comes on myspace..if anyone could give me any tips on how to do that i would appreciate it also...thanks!
 

daygameguy

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thesteveoh said:
Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to respond..i really appreciate it...can anyone give me some advice on how to pull chicks on the internet? im actually stayin at my sisters pad right now in texas and im from cali..so i dont really know anyone from around here except family so alot of my meeting girls comes on myspace..if anyone could give me any tips on how to do that i would appreciate it also...thanks!
Go to the nearest coffee shop. Talk to about 4-5 chicks. Be yourself, no gimmicks, and make friends with them. Invite them to hang with you on Fri/Sat night. In fact ask them, since you are new to town, about the best night clubs/bars in town.

I'm sure they won't say no. Use them as social value in the clubs, and let them introduce you to new chicks!

:up: That's how I'd do it. :yes:
 
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