So I was talking to a girl the other day and told her I was in school. When I told her my age, she wanted to know what kind of job I had before I went back to school. People - especially women - keep asking me this question. I HATE this question because it forces me to confess that I had a very low-status job that I am ashamed of. I won't say what kind of job it was, but it paid $10 an hour, so that should give you an idea. I did this job for years. Everyone I tell this to - including this girl - loses interest in talking to me any further. I don't know what to do about this. I already have so much baggage - virginity, never having had a girlfriend, my "living situation," being unaccomplished at my age - that I'm not sure I can ever get to live a normal life, make friends, get a good girlfriend, and so on. I don't know how to handle questions about the past job anymore. I feel like people look down on me. I wore a suit the other day for a special occasion and noticed how differently people treated me!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Can anyone help me handle a question I keep getting?
- Thread starter Stavrogin
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
My Name is Nobody
Banned
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Come on buddy everyone here should know the answer to this... you're an Ass Model.
edger
Master Don Juan
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Never be ashamed of a job, be ashamed when you sit there on your lazy ass and DON'T WANNA WORK. Stop being insecure, and giving a f*ck what women think, or anyone else. Ask yourself who the f*ck are they that you have to impress them? They need to qualify themselves to YOU, remember that. Anyone who looks down on someone because of the type of work they do, or how much money they make, is an ignorant, close-minded, uneducated, blind fool who needs a good shot of wisdom. THOSE are people you look down on. Always be PROUD of what you do and act that way in front of women, act like you love your job, and they will dig you. Even the dating gurus say that. Uncondition yourself and get out of this materialistic, matrix thinking superficiality that has sadly infected many. Today's youth are being brought up thinking this is what life's all about, and you my friend are a statistic/victim of that.Stavrogin said:
Read this post I posted a long time ago to Squirrels: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1249051#post1249051
edger
Master Don Juan
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When you get asked that question, "What did you do before you went to school?", tell them with a straight face what you did, and do it with a positive look on your face.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
confessions are for priests, Stravrogin.Stavrogin said:
Try this reframe on for size: They are not losing interest in you because of the job, they are losing interest your evaluation of yourself because of that job. (kind of like what edger said above).
Think of some GOOD things about that job you can be proud of. Like some cool experiences, etc. It's only low status if you think its low status. FVKK what other people think.
In psycho cybernetics (read it if you haven't), Maltz points out the fallacy of comparing yourself to others. There are so many frikking variables, it only makes sense to compare yourself to yourself. Like now your in school, before you weren't. Like that. And to reiterate, FVKK what other people think! (or just FVKK other people, if that suits your fancy..)
Taiyuu
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
When I worked, people at work would always tell me to go back to school. That means people did not respect me much THEN. I ran into someone from work the other day. She wanted to know if my grades were alright. I told her they were fine. (They are.) A few minutes later she said, "No, really, how are your grades?" In other words, she thinks someone like me should get bad grades. People like her thought I was a dingaling. Now, I'm trying to "change" that, but people who know I'm in school think I'm a dingaling because I USED TO have a crummy job.
BLebowski
Don Juan
And? Let people think what they want. You shouldn't give a toss about it.
Cesare Cardinali
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The problem is not so much what you did, but that you seem very down on yourself and seem to have low self esteem. I think that working on that will solve that problem and many others. Going back to school, getting your life in order, etc. All good steps. You should check out some books on how to raise your self esteem and follow the suggestions.
By the way, I tell all women that I'm a garbage man. It's not true, but if you say things with a sly smile women love it. Ass model is another good one to use. And a good buddy of mine uses "I'm a disposable lighter repair man".
Good luck,
Cesare Cardinali
By the way, I tell all women that I'm a garbage man. It's not true, but if you say things with a sly smile women love it. Ass model is another good one to use. And a good buddy of mine uses "I'm a disposable lighter repair man".
Good luck,
Cesare Cardinali