Can anybody help me?

[itstough]

I need some advice. I have read many posts about people having some major problems and you guys help turn them around. So I hope somebody can please help me out.

I need somebody to tell me how to get over all of this and live a normal life. I am 28 fat part time job and live with my mother.I have the typical abused life. I was beat by my father when I was little and he talked about anybody who would walk past him "they are to fat they are ugly etc" So I grew up and still do think everybody is talking about me. I have been told here that I have emotional problems by several people so I guess somehow they are picking that up from my posts.

I never had much luck with woman then I found this place. I met a woman at work who I became attracted to and she claimed that she also liked me. I followed many of the things I read here. I posted about her here before and even though I am still not sure that she really did like me. But I was told that she was just an attention whhore. Now the problem is she left and I have not seen her in 9 months. During a 3 month period I thought she was trying to have me arrested " for what who knows?" I was so into her and my boss at work also toys with my head that I thought she was having me arrested even though I did nothing to her. I have not been able to get her out of my mind in all of this time. I want to hate her because she may have toyed with me but I just can't fully believe that because of all the things she did but then she did somethings that made me think she was an attention whhoreeee. I know what everybody will tell me is look for other woman well I have tried that I get interested in some then I forget about them and worry about this one again. I think it is like I need closure or something and I have to have a definate answer on wether she played with me or not.

Anyway to get to the point. I am really depressed over this woman. I have gained alot of weight and I lay in bed all day when I am not at work. I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day now because of this worrying and I know I am going to end up killing myself at this rate with all the smoking and depression so I want to change now.

So what can I do to overcome all of this and be a normal person again? What have you guys done ? I no longer have health insurance so seeing somebody IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!!! Thanks

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your problem is not with this women per se, the problem is in your head and low self-esteem, this may have to do with your past childhood.

First things first - get your fat ass off of the sofa and quit buying cigarettes and look for a full time job or go to school to build up your knowledge base or get into a practicing trade and skill!

If you don't work at this, we sure can't do anything to help you with mere words!!

But first get your attitude together and have some ambitions for yourself - write these goals down and adhere to a regiment that will accomplish the task at hand!!

Quit smoking

lose weight

exercise

get 'meaningful' employment

etc...


First work out issues of your past - only then will you make progress for the future!! Your confidence in yourself can only be gained by the 'positive' actions YOU take!!

 

[Jason King]

One of the most important things to learn about communication is that you should not focus on yourself while you're talking with someone. Don't be concerned about how they're receiving your ideas and thoughts.

If you're always wondering what other people are thinking about you, then you don't stand a chance at getting to know someone. People are generally turned off by narcissism.

*I included a link to the definition in case you're not sure. It's too important to pass up, so go look*

Honestly, what you need is an environment that will push you to become more. Try this place:

Landmark Education

I know a lot of people who have taken their basic course (which is approximately 350 dollars), and their entire lives changed as a result. If you can afford a few packs of cigarettes per day, then you can definitely afford to invest in yourself.

I came from a similar environment, so let me be the first to tell you... you don't have to improve yourself BY yourself. Help is out there, and it's not *uncool* to look for it. The best seducers / daters out there are people who are regularly look to improve who they are in the world.

Keep learning, and keep growing. Stay in touch.

Jason King
http://www.MakeoutMastery.com
*Discover How To Make Out With Any Woman On The First Date*

 

[Grey Fox]

The answer must come from you. You have to have a desire to change, and not the kind of change you promise to make for New Years. You have to want it for yourself. First off start looking for a real job, second move out of your mom's. I don't care if it breaks her heart, she lived her life the way she wanted. Why can't you live your's. Sure she gave you life, but it doesn't mean she gets to run it. Third build up your confidence, cause your lacking it. Listen to music and read books that are inspiring and pump you up.

Here's a solid way to take off the weight.

First just start walking a mile a day for a week. Then the next week increase the distance by a mile and keep doing that until your walking five miles a day.

In terms of eating decrease the portions you eat, and increase the veggies, they help kick up the metabolism which burns more fat. In between when your hungry just drink water, eventually you will get used to it and you will look and feel better. Just watch your confidence go sky high.

Next take the advice from this place and put it to use when you go to pick up women. Don't worry about failing, we all did at one point, take what works and use it. For what doesn't work learn where you went wrong and try again.

Don't worry about being 28 doesn't mean you can't be banging a 23 year old babe. The big thing is you have to develop your confidence, once you have it in your head that you're the man, people will start to see it. But it all has to start with you, we can only help you so far as you want to help yourself.

-Grey Fox