"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Can AFC lapses be overturned by doing the opposite?

pete101

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is it possible to reverse any temporary afc lapses such as conveying neediness or clinginess or being overly keen?

the girl im seeing has high interest but i made the mistake of telling her i wanted to see her yesterday after our great date on thursday. she was all for it but in a drunken state and i knew i was being impatient. 1st i said i wanted to see her this weekend, she complied, then i raised the bar and said the next day (temporary afc lapse showing keeness)

when it came to yesterday i appeared too excited in response to her texts about meeting up. in the end we didn't meet up, i dont know if cos i was coming across too available or if she genuinely had a reason.

if i cut contact for a few days can i reverse this temporary demonstration of availability?

right now she'll feel i'm really into her, too available maybe needy and clingy. but this is the only time i've shown this since we've been seeing each other. she has high IL, but for how long? if i cut any contact till next week or when i see her on campus is that the best way to reel myself back in or is it too late?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Darth_Qurashi

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yea dude man dont give up. if u like the girl, then do watever u think u should do. u'll never know if u dont try. just be prepared for the worse though, but expect the best, hope it works out for u man.
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
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You're going to be focused on not being an AFC. Which is BAD because you'll always be thinking about it.

What you should be thinking about is doing the right thing, which is to act like a man or a Don Juan whatever you want to call it. The opposite of something bad is something less bad.
 

old married dude

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I'd say cool it a little bit. Pull back a bit & if she has high IL as you say, she will come to you. You want her to do this & for her to be the one asking "When am I gonna get to see you again?"

Maybe tell her that you're busy & that when you find the time you'll try to let her know. Wait a few days & give her a buzz, don't go calling back the same or even next day.

Just my $.02
 

BigWillyStyle

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It doesn't matter. Don't overanalyse. Your initial believed p*ssiness shouldn't break the deal. Despite what everyone on here preaches, I believe if a girl is keen on you during the early stages of courtship, you're allowed a few p*ssy slip ups. However, just don't let is become a habit, or it will break the deal.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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