the reason behind the post
now that i have experimented with dating multiple men, it is like my eyes are open to a whole new mentality. and it probaly wouldn't be so eye opening if it wasn't for rappaboy really into me.
you all know (i assume) that there is a difference between the kinds of connection when you are dating people. some are just dating you, getting to see if they like you or not. this is probaly the most common type, the type that confuses everyone with IL and whatnots.
then there is the type where there is just chemistry, you KNOW that they are really into you. these are the type that no longer see any reason for dating anyone else because noone compares to you anyways. now you are just dating to get to know each other better, not see if there is IL or any chance of it. it is definately there. rappaboy fits here. he is so into me.
so when i am getting into another guys car, and my phone rings, and it is him, i feel guilty. i also (if i answer), lie. or i twist the truth, or give a lie of omission. and i learn, from myself.
i apply this new knowledge to people around me. i see how easy it is to just lie. and i apply it to past situations. like not only am i sabotaging trust with current people, but i am actually going back to the past and labeling certain situations and moments as probable lies and manipulation!
that time he didn't call..it was because he was doing exactly what i am doing now....
weird...rappaboy hasn't called today...he could be trying to seem not desperate...but he is probaly hollering at another chic. play on playa!
and the sort.
i don't know if i have really discovered the way it is, or if i am severely damaging my ability to trust people. (my trust was really taken advantage of a few months ago, anyways).
hmmm....