"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Calling all female posters

Doctor Europeo

Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
4,416
Reaction score
4,802
Location
Mexico
My sister likes this guy at her work. They would compliment each other nicely because my sister has European nationality and he is from the U. S. so its a win win for both of them in my point of view.

They stumbled upon one another at the elevator and he mentioned he's single.

@BeExcellent @sazc @AJ84

How to proceed? How to avoid the friendzone?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

A

AJ84

Guest
My sister likes this guy at her work. They would compliment each other nicely because my sister has European nationality and he is from the U. S. so its a win win for both of them in my point of view.

They stumbled upon one another at the elevator and he mentioned he's single.

@BeExcellent @sazc @AJ84

How to proceed? How to avoid the friendzone?
He mentioned he’s single? What was the context of him saying that?

It sounds like an invitation for her to ask him out but knowing the context of how he told her he was single would be helpful.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,415
Reaction score
7,940
Age
57
Goes to show you can meet people anywhere.

Like AJ said more context would be useful.

Office relationships can be tricky, obviously. He needs to be the man & ask her out. If he doesn't know how to do that she has 2 options. She can smile @ behave in a receptive manner...or if he mentions being single again she can say:

"Are you asking me out?" Then have a big smile & let that question hang there & see what he does with it.

The second option is more aggressive but not so aggressive as to ask him out...which sets her up leading the interaction, and that will make him look weak also. Weak or wishy washy is never attractive.

If he doesn't ask her out I advise she pass. She needs to screen for a man who has enough nads to lead her and likes her well enough to make a move.
 
A

AJ84

Guest
Goes to show you can meet people anywhere.

Like AJ said more context would be useful.

Office relationships can be tricky, obviously. He needs to be the man & ask her out. If he doesn't know how to do that she has 2 options. She can smile @ behave in a receptive manner...or if he mentions being single again she can say:

"Are you asking me out?" Then have a big smile & let that question hang there & see what he does with it.

The second option is more aggressive but not so aggressive as to ask him out...which sets her up leading the interaction, and that will make him look weak also. Weak or wishy washy is never attractive.

If he doesn't ask her out I advise she pass. She needs to screen for a man who has enough nads to lead her and likes her well enough to make a move.
I totally agree with what you’re saying for non work situations. But he may be hesitant to ask her out if he’s not sure of her interest because he may be afraid that it will #metoo him out of a job lol.
So he may not be able to take the lead as he would like given they they work together and there is a risk of it backfiring. She may have to make the first move.
We don’t know for sure or course.
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,468
Reaction score
3,402
He mentioned he is single for a reason. men mention they are single for a reason. I dont walk around mentioning I am single without having a specific reason to do so.

Did she find anything else out about him? Do they have anything in common?

Next step would either be for her to make herself available (aka get in his physical presence so he can notice her and one of them can strike up a conversation) or, if they have something in common, a shared interest, love, hobby,have her call him based on that, asking to chat more over coffee.

She can also ask CLOSE work associates if they know him and see what the situation is with him. but only do this if the work associates wont make a big deal about it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

spred

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2017
Messages
195
Reaction score
148
Age
48
I totally agree with what you’re saying for non work situations. But he may be hesitant to ask her out if he’s not sure of her interest because he may be afraid that it will #metoo him out of a job lol.
So he may not be able to take the lead as he would like given they they work together and there is a risk of it backfiring. She may have to make the first move.
We don’t know for sure or course.
OP, I am the guy at work in your case. Obviously not that person, but figuratively.
AJ is right about the context for the guy.
What will help your sister is to show interest in two or more separate occasions, so the guy gets the point that she is interested more than friends.
Btw men don't friend zone women from work.
 

HankHill

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2018
Messages
817
Reaction score
575
Age
51
The guy mentioning he's single is about all he can do without jeopardizing his job. I have a woman at my work that I strike up conversations with, I like her but due to the work situation I can't openly ask her out. I *think* she might feel the same way. Last time she even poured me a coffee as I approached the coffee station where she was getting herself one. She's at least 10+yrs younger so I can never be sure if she's just being nice/polite or she wants me to ask her out. I think in these situations it's a lot safer (from losing your job's perspective) when the woman takes the lead to create a situation where the guy knows she's open to meeting up, perhaps saying 'I'd love to learn about your background sometime' and see how he responds and then '...perhaps after work sometime, there's this xyz place I've been meaning to try.'
 

sazc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2016
Messages
4,468
Reaction score
3,402
The guy mentioning he's single is about all he can do without jeopardizing his job. I have a woman at my work that I strike up conversations with, I like her but due to the work situation I can't openly ask her out. I *think* she might feel the same way. Last time she even poured me a coffee as I approached the coffee station where she was getting herself one. She's at least 10+yrs younger so I can never be sure if she's just being nice/polite or she wants me to ask her out. I think in these situations it's a lot safer (from losing your job's perspective) when the woman takes the lead to create a situation where the guy knows she's open to meeting up, perhaps saying 'I'd love to learn about your background sometime' and see how he responds and then '...perhaps after work sometime, there's this xyz place I've been meaning to try.'
Yep, you've got to innocently place an invite in his path and see if he will bite. But the invite has to be of respectable content so he can't #himtoo about it

Same thing guys do to women
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top